There Shouldn't Be A Reason
by The Jade Samurai
Summary: Clay and Tony figure out Hannah's plan before it is completed, and now Clay must show Hannah the reasons she shouldn't end everything. Rated T for coarse language and mentions of drug use.
1. Chapter 1- Stop the Madness

_A/N- Er, hi guys. This is a story I've been meaning to write ever since I watched 13 Reasons Why. Honestly I've probably cried more times watching that show than I have my entire live and it's honestly amazing. Anyway this is a what if story where Clay finds out that Hannah's planning on killing herself and tries to stop her before it's too late. Hope you enjoy._

 **Chapter 1**

"Clay, your friend Tony is here to see you."

Clay Jensen looked up from his desk in his bedroom to look at his mother, who was standing in his doorway. Nodding his head, Harry closed his English textbook and walked down the stairs to see a flustered Tony, who was breathing heavily with his red Mustang still running behind him, which was parked outside the front of the Jensen's home.

"Clay, you have to come with me, Hannah's in trouble," said Tony urgently, and without waiting for a reply, ran back to his car.

Clay sensed the urgency behind Tony's actions and quickly followed Tony to his car, climbing into the passenger seat. Tony and Clay sped off, and Clay was forced to brace himself, his eyes widening in shock.

"Shit Tony slow down! You're breaking like every road rule!" yelled Clay.

"Can't, Hannah's in danger," answered Tony.

"What do you mean, she's in trouble?" said Clay, his heart sinking.

"She's going to try and kill herself!" shouted Tony, swerving to avoid hitting a pedestrian who was crossing the road. The pedestrian flipped the bird at them, but Tony drove on.

Clay felt as though and icy hand had gripped his heart and was squeezing the life from it. Why would hannah want to kill herself? He knew she had been down lately but was it really that bad?

"How do you know this?"

"She came to my house and left a package at my door," explained Tony. "Inside were these tapes that she made explaining why she killed herself. I left as soon as I heard the first tape and thought you needed to be here to help."

"Fuck," whispered Clay. He couldn't think, he couldn't feel. Was the girl he had fallen in love with really that broken?

They turned into the street where the Bakers lived and before Tony had even stopped the car outside Hannah's house, Clay had already jumped out and sprinted across the well-cared for lawn and over to the door.

"Hannah! Open up!" shouted Clay, pounding his fist against the door.

There was no response.

"Fuck! Hannah, please! It's me, Clay!" Clay's pounding against the door was getting harder and harder. He was panicking now. What if it was too late? Was she already dead? Would he never get to tell Hannah how he felt?

"Move out of the way," said Tony, coming up behind Clay. He obeyed and Tony kicked against the door, forcing it off its hinges and crashing to the ground. Clay gave Tony an impressed look before he raced up the stairs.

"Hannah?!" he yelled. There was still no answer from the girl.

"SHIT!" cursed Clay as he almost slipped on the wet floor, bracing himself against the wall. _Wait, wet floor?_ Clay's eyes followed the trail of slightly pink water which seemed to come from the closed door across the hall. _The bathroom!_

Clay opened the door and gasped at the sight. Hannah was laying in the bathtub filled with water, which was taking on a pink shade. She still wore her clothes, a grey shirt and jeans, and her face was pale and her eyes had taken on a glassy look. The most horrifying sight was the long, red lines that stretched from her wrists all the way up to the top of her forearms, from which blood was pouring freely and dying the water. Lying on the ground was a bloodstained razor blade. The only sign that she was still alive was the slight rise and fall of her chest, indicating that at least she was still breathing.

"Oh God, no, NO!" shouted Clay as he ran over to Hannah. He carefully grabbed her head and raised it gently. She didn't even seem to be aware that somebody was trying to help her. Behind them, Clay heard Tony run in and swear under his breath before grabbing a towel and tearing it into two pieces.

"Hold her steady, I need to tourniquet her arms," instructed Tony, crouching beside Clay.

Clay obeyed and held Hannah, the whole time crying and whispering words of comfort.

"I'm so sorry... Hannah you'll be fine... please be okay..."

"Done," said Tony. "Now we need to get her to a hospital now."

Tony's improvised tourniquets had slowed the blood flow coming from the ugly wounds.

"She's lost a lot of blood, we have to move Clay."

Clay nodded his head, feeling numb inside. Ignoring the water, he reached down and scooped Hannah up in a bridal carry, grunting at her weight. Her head rested against Clay's chest as he stood up.

"You need a hand?" asked Tony.

"I'm fine," growled Clay. Tony nodded his head and led Clay out of the bathroom. Clay was careful not to jostle Hannah too much as he climbed down the stairs, and Tony opened the passenger door when they arrived at his Mustang. Clay climbed into the car slowly, still clutching Hannah and Tony drove off towards the hospital.

"You're gonna be fine Hannah," said Clay, trying to convince himself as much as he was trying to convince Hannah. Hannah stirred slightly and groaned, her face nestling deeper into Clay's chest. In any other situation Clay would have felt over the moon at the intimacy of the action, but right now he was more concerned with keeping Hannah alive.

"We're nearly there," said Tony. Clay noticed that his t-shirt was coated in Hannah's blood, which was still dripping from her cuts.

"Dammit Tony step on it!" said Clay. Tony obeyed and slammed his foot on the accelerator, and the red Mustang shot forward, rumbling loudly like a lion chasing a zebra.

"We're almost there Hannah, just hold on..." whispered Clay, running his hand over Hannah's hair softly. Hannah groaned into his shirt, and Clay felt his heart shatter into a thousand pieces.

They finally pulled up to the hospital, and Tony jumped out first, ran around to Clay's side and opened the door, allowing him to get out, still cradling Hannah. They wasted no time in running into the hospital.

"SOMEBODY HELP!" screamed Clay. Immediately several doctors and nurses heads popped up and looked at the bloodstained Clay and the dripping wet Hannah in his arms, with Tony standing beside them. They quickly rushed over to them, two nurses bringing over a hospital bed. One of the doctors extracted the limp form of Hannah from Clay's arms and carefully laid her on the bed, before they left Clay and Tony alone in the reception room.

Clay feet felt rooted to the floor, like a statue carved straight from the ground. And, like a statue, he couldn't breathe. He had to move, to do something, anything, to take his mind off Hannah. Thankfully, Tony seemed to have had the same idea, because he grabbed Clay by the arm and pulled him over to sit in some chairs in a corner of the reception. Clay leaned forward, his elbows resting on his knees, his eyes focussed on his feet.

"You okay man?" said Tony.

"No," replied Clay bluntly, not looking up from his feet.

"Me neither," said Tony quietly.

The two were silent for several minutes, but then Tony stood up and walked over to a vending machine on the other side of the reception hall, then went over to the front desk and talked with the receptionist, probably to give Hannah's details. He came back with two chocolate bars.

"Want one?" asked Tony. Clay shook his head. Tony nodded in understanding and sat back down next to Clay. He opened one of the wrappers and took a bite out of the bar, chewing slowly as he thought.

"What did you mean about tapes?" Clay asked suddenly. Tony didn't answer, because his mouth was full of chocolate.

"She came to my house," Tony said finally when he swallowed. "She was carrying a package and knocked on my door. I didn't answer because honestly I didn't want to deal with her drama, so she left it at the door. I think she knew I was home too, but all she did was walk away.

"When she was gone I decided to check it out. Inside the package were these audio tapes and the first tape said they were the thirteen reasons why she killed herself. So I ran to my car and drove to your place and, well, you know the rest."

"Why would she try to kill herself?" said Clay, shocked at what Tony had told him.

Tony shrugged. "She's been going through some shit Clay, we all know that. I guess it was just too much," he said.

"But she has people who care about her. She knew I care about her," said Clay.

"Did you ever tell her that?" asked Tony.

Clay was just about to respond angrily when he stopped. He never actually had told Hannah that he cared, had he?

"No," Clay finally said.

"Exactly. I think we all could have done a better job and showing Hannah Baker we cared," agreed Tony.

"We should go over the tapes. Try to find out why she tried to..." Clay's voice drifted off. He couldn't say it, not when the her death could still be a very real possibility.

"Okay," was all Tony said, sensing the internal struggle within Clay.

Just then a panicked-looking couple barged into the hospital and ran straight to the front desk. Clay recognised them as Hannah's parents.

"Where is our daughter?" Clay heard Mrs Baker demand shrilly.

The receptionist looked up from her computer and gave the Bakers a sympathetic look.

"Your daughter is in critical condition and is undergoing surgery right this moment," she said. "Your daughter lost a lot of blood, ma'am."

Mr and Mrs Baker visibly paled at the news.

"Don't worry, everything will be fine. Those two boys over there were the ones who brought her in," said the receptionist encouragingly, pointing to Clay and Tony. Clay stiffened slightly when he saw the Bakers looking at them, and quickly looked away, suddenly finding the contents inside the vending machine very interesting.

He heard the Bakers thanking the receptionist, then heard their footsteps coming closer. _Please don't come here, please don't come here,_ Clay silently pleaded, but it was in vain. Mrs Baker stood directly in front of him and Tony, blocking Clay's view of the vending machine. Mentally kicking himself, Clay looked up at the tear-streaked face of Mrs Baker, and stood up to look at Hannah's parents eye to eye.

He certainly didn't expect Mrs Baker to suddenly pull Clay, still wet and covered in Hannah's blood, into a bone-crushing hug, and definitely didn't expect Mrs Baker to start crying on his shoulder.

"Thank you, oh thank you thank you thank you," weeped Mrs Baker.

Clay was stunned. Being a socially awkward teenager, he was never used to public displays of affection. Mr Baker came over once Mrs Baker had let go of Clay and shook his hand, while Mrs Baker hugged Tony.

Clay felt even more uncomfortable. This was not how he wanted to meet Hannah's parents for the first time- that is, if he even had the courage to ask Hannah out and they got to that stage in their relationship.

"Thank you for saving our daughter," said Mr Baker, his voice thick with emotion.

Clay could only nod his head, his mind going over all the things he should have seen when he was around Hannah. Looking back, there were signs that she was struggling, not coping well with her life. Clay had heard all the rumours that had been spread around the school about Hannah, but he never believed them. They were just so different from the Hannah Baker he knew and worked with, the one he had fallen for.

"How did you know she was in trouble?" asked Mrs Baker, snapping Clay out of his reverie.

"Er..." was all he could say.

"We were worried about her," cut in Tony. "Clay and I both noticed that she had been looking a little down and we decided to come over to your house after work to check on her, but we realised something was wrong when she wasn't answering our calls or texts. We uh..." Tony smiled sheepishly at the Bakers, "had to bust down your door to get to her."

The Bakers' eyebrows rose up and looked at Clay and Tony in surprise. Clay himself was surprised at Tony, he hadn't mentioned the tapes at all.

"You- you bust down our door?" said Mrs Baker incredulously.

"We're happy to pay for the repairs," said Clay, speaking for the first time since the Bakers arrived.

"Doesn't matter," said Mr Baker. "What matters is that these boys may have very well saved Hannah's life."

Feeling uncomfortable again, Clay nodded his head awkwardly and sat back down. The Bakers followed Clay's example and sat down in some empty chairs across from them. There was silence in the reception hall for several minutes until Clay's phone started to buzz. He pulled it out from his pocket and saw a text message.

 _Mom_

 _Where are you?_

 _At the hospital._

 _Are you ok? What happened?_

 _I'm fine. Just had to take a friend to the hospital, she hurt herself._

 _Is she going to be ok?_

 _Not sure. We're waiting for the doctors to come back._

 _Ok. Let me know when you're finished and I'll pick you up. Be safe._

 _Ok._

Pocketing his phone away again, Clay turned his attention to an outdated magazine and started reading, and soon became bored. His thoughts however, never strayed too far from Hannah, and what might happen if she couldn't be saved. What would he do? The idea of a world without Hannah seemed inconceivable to him.

There was complete silence in the hospital as they waited for news on Hannah. Mr and Mrs Baker sat close together, holding each other's hands tightly as if they were physically transferring comfort to one another. Tony was reading one of the outdated gossip magazines intently, though every now and again his eyes would flicker up to look at either Clay or the Bakers. Clay himself had discarded his magazine, and was sitting in his chair stiffly with his hands clenched into fists.

It was over an hour after Hannah's parents had arrived when a doctor walked into the hall with a tired look on his face. Tony was the first to notice and he tapped Clay on the along with the Bakers stood up and waited nervously for the doctor to come to them.

"Hello, I'm doctor Barry," said the doctor. He looked at Hannah's parents and said "You must be Hannah's mother and father."

"Is our daughter going to be fine?" asked Mrs Baker nervously.

"She's in a stable condition, but has deep lacerations on both her forearms and has lost a lot of blood," explained Dr Barry. "If her friends hadn't gotten her here when they did, it was very possible that she wouldn't have made it."

Clay let out a deep breath that he didn't know he had been holding. Hannah was going to be okay. She was going to live. But then it hit him. If he and Tony hadn't gotten there when they did, she would have died. The thought sent a cold chill down his spine.

"Can we see her?" asked Mr Baker.

"Of course. But she's sleeping, and it's likely that she won't wake up for a few days," said Doctor Barry.

"Thank you," said Mrs Baker.

"Are you coming?" asked Mrs Baker to Clay and Tony.

Clay was confused for a moment. "Huh?" Clay asked stupidly.

"To see Hannah? Are you coming with us?" said Mrs Baker.

"Oh, I uh..." stuttered Clay.

"You saved her life. The both of you did," said Mr Baker. "We would appreciate it if you would join us."

"Of course," said Tony politely, grabbing Clay's arm. Clay was beginning to feel like he was invading the Baker's privacy, and if he were to be honest with himself, wasn't ready to see Hannah yet.

Dr Barry led the Bakers, Clay and Tony through several corridors before stopping at a white door. He opened it and gestured for the group to enter. Hannah's parents were the first to enter the room, followed by Tony and then Clay, who kept his head down. Dr Barry closed the door behind them, effectively preventing Clay from making a silent exit. Not having any other choice, Clay slowly walked over the the bed in which Hannah was resting in.

If Clay didn't know any better, Hannah could have been sleeping. She was wearing a white nightgown issued by the hospital, and her torso and legs were covered by a white blanket. Her arms were bandaged up, hiding the horrendous wounds that would leave scars for the rest of her life. Her pale face had a little colour in her cheeks, which were tinted slightly pink. A blood bag was hooked up to her left arm, slowly pumping blood back into her body.

Mr and Mrs Baker both took the seats on either side of Hannah's bed, looking at their daughter with pained expressions. Tony stood next to Mr Baker, a sad look on his face. Clay slowly walked over till he was standing at the foot of the bed, and for what felt like a millionth time that night, his heart stopped. He couldn't bare to look at Hannah laying there so fragilely, like a sneeze would be enough to finish the job she had started. She was always so strong, so confident in Clay's eyes, like a light in Clay's gloomy world. But now her light had diminished until it was almost completely snuffed out.

Clay noticed that the other conscious inhabitants of the room were looking at him sympathetically, and he realised that he was crying. He was about to wipe his face with the sleeve of his shirt, but it was covered in blood, Hannah's blood, so he stopped.

"E-excuse me," Clay choked out and he quickly left the room.

Once outside Clay sank to the ground, curled up into the fetal position and wept. He felt guilty for not realising Hannah needed him. He should have seen the signs, he should have known that Hannah needed him, he should have...

"Son?"

Clay looked up to see Mrs Baker staring at him in concern.

"Are you alright?" she asked.

"Y-yeah," said Clay.

Mrs Baker looked at him skeptically. "How well do you know Hannah?"

"We used to work together at the Cresmont, and I have a lot of classes with her," said Clay. "We sometimes hang out together."

"So you know her well?"

"I'm not sure. I-I'd like to think so, but I didn't know she would try to-" Clay stopped and looked at Mrs Baker apologetically.

Mrs Baker sighed. "I didn't think she would either," she said. She sat down on the floor next to Clay and rested her hand on his shoulder, rubbing it gently. Clay found the gesture oddly comforting.

"You care for her a great deal, don't you?" she asked, though it sounded more like a statement of fact.

Clay nodded his head, then he stood up. "I have to get going Mrs Baker. Thank you," he said. "If it's alright with you, I'd like to come visit Hannah if I can."

"Of course," said Mrs Baker, smiling gently. Clay nodded his head and turned to leave, but Mrs Baker's voice stopped him.

"Wait! I never got the chance to ask your name?"

"Clay," he replied.

"I can't thank you enough Clay, for saving my daughter's life," said Mrs Baker earnestly.

Clay had no response to that, so he turned around and left Mrs Baker standing alone in the hallway.

 _Barry is the last name of a friend of mine who committed suicide nearly four years ago, and this is my tribute to him._


	2. Chapter 2- The Tapes

_A/N- My apologies for the delay. I got my wisdom teeth out this week and so I've been really out of it all week but now I'm sort of good to go again. Also thanks so much for the support and I hope you enjoy this next chapter!_

 **Chapter 2**

"Hey, did you hear about what happened to Hannah Baker?"

Clay looked away from his locker to see Sheri Holland staring at him.

"Excuse me?" he asked.

"Hannah Baker, she's in the hospital. Apparently she tried to kill herself," said Sheri. Clay noticed the concerned look she was giving him.

"Oh, uh, yeah. I heard about that," said Clay, trying to keep his voice sounding as nonchalant as possible.

"Listen Clay, I know you're good friends with her. You don't have to pretend like you're not," said Sheri, placing a hand on Clay's shoulder. "If you need to talk, I'm here for you."

"Yeah, I-I know," answered Clay. "Look, I should probably get to class." He grabbed his textbook from his locker and put it in his bag before slinging it over his shoulder and closing the locker.

"Oh right. We have communications together. Can I walk with you?" asked Sheri hopefully.

"Uh, sure," said Clay. Sheri smiled warmly at Clay and they walked down the hall together to their class. They were greeted by Mrs Bradley and took their respective seats. Clay unslung his bag and pulled out his notebook and pen, then dropped his bag onto the floor next to him. He spotted Justin Foley and Zach Dempsey chatting quietly in the corner, both giving Clay furtive glances.

"Now, before we begin I would like to..." Mrs Bradley's speech was cut off by the sound of the school's intercom music, signaling an important announcement.

" _Good morning Liberty High,"_ said the voice of the school's principal, Mr Bolan. " _Now, as I am sure you're aware, one of our students, Miss Hannah Baker, was taken to the hospital for treatment after a series of unfortunate events. We have been notified that she will recover though, thanks to the efforts of Misters Clay Jensen and Tony Padilla, who were able to rescue Miss Baker in time and may very well have saved her life. Now, I ask that you respect Mr Jensen and Mr Padilla's need for privacy should they request so, but do not be afraid to thank them for their services, that is all."_

The intercom ceased, and Clay felt every pair of eyes in the classroom focussed on him. He was distinctly aware of Sheri's surprised look, and tried his best to avoid looking at anyone by looking down at his open book.

"Well, it seems you're a hero, Mr Jensen," said Mrs Bradley. Clay had no reply, instead choosing to continue staring down at his book as he felt his face burn up in shame. Who the hell told the school about Hannah and his and Tony's role in saving her?

Clay looked up when they gave Clay a round of applause, but the sound felt like thunder going of in his ears. It felt as though the clapping was rattling his brain, and he started to hyperventilate because he felt like a python had wrapped itself around his torso in a death coil. It was a sickening feeling, and Clay had to get out of here.

"Can I be excused?" said Clay, interrupting the clapping. Mrs Bradley looked at Clay in confusion, which turned to remorse and she acquiesced Clay's request. Clay wasted no time and quickly packed his things away before bolting from the classroom. Clay quickly made his way to the bathroom, forcing himself into one of the cubicles and dropping to his knees before vomiting the contents of his stomach into the toilet.

Groaning after finishing his vomit session, Clay leant back from the toilet and rested against the cubicle wall. How could people be so oblivious to the fact that a girl had almost taken her life? And they were acting like Clay was some kind of hero. _They wouldn't if they saw me last night,_ Clay thought morbidly.

Clay stayed in the bathroom right through the rest of first period, ignoring the stream of teenage boys that came in and out, talking about girls and the next basketball game. He finally decided to leave once the bell rings for lunch, though by the time he's out of the bathroom, Clay realised how bad of a decision that was.

Everyone who saw him exit the bathroom was now looking at him, some with expressions of respect, others with awe. Some kids were whispering to their friends, no doubt providing their own in-depth analysis of what they think happened last night. Clay was disgusted by it all. How could they simply gossip about people's lives like they were an object and not a human being? It was probably why Hannah tried to kill herself, Clay mused as he headed towards the cafeteria. After all, he had heard all the nasty things that had been spread about Hannah, things that affected her far more than Clay realised.

He ignored the pats on the back and shouts across the hall thanking him for saving Hannah's life. He didn't do it for them, he did it for Hannah, the girl who deserved so much more in life than what she got. Clay grabbed a tray of food and looked around the food hall, hoping to find an empty table where he could sit in peace. However, he spotted Tony sitting alone, looking like he wasn't affected at all by all the people staring and whispering about him.

Clay sat down opposite Tony and stared at him. Tony ignored him and continued munching into his sandwich, which Clay admitted to himself, was slightly unnerving.

"How do you do it?" Clay finally said.

Tony looked up from his meal with a confused look on his face. "Do what?" he asked.

"Act like all this isn't bothering you," clarified Clay. "All the whisperings, all the people picking at our lives and what happened last night. How are you not bothered by it?"

Tony put down his sandwich and sighed. "I am bothered by it Clay. I just know how to hide it better than you," he said.

"But aren't you annoyed that they're talking about us saving Hannah's life like we're some kind of superheroes? If they had seen us last night, covered in her blood, they wouldn't be saying that."

"Clay, a lot of people wouldn't have done what we did. I'm not saying that in an arrogant way, it's just the truth. You and I are probably the only people who actually cared about Hannah," said Tony tiredly.

Clay frowned. "How do you know that?" he asked.

Tony looked distinctly uncomfortable. "I listened to the tapes."

"You WHAT?!" yelled Clay, drawing the attention of the people sitting closest to them.

"Shut the fuck up dude!" whispered Tony.

"Sorry," mumbled Clay. "I thought you said we would listen to them together?"

"I did and I'm sorry for not telling you. But man, there's some heavy shit on those tapes, and I'm worried about how you'll react," said Tony.

"What do you mean?" asked Clay. Tony hesitated for a few moments.

"I can't say. Hannah wanted it done a specific way. I'll give you the tapes after school, but I'm coming with you," said Tony.

"Fine, fine. I'll see you later Tony," said Clay, grabbing his bag and standing up.

"Aren't you gonna eat your lunch?" asked Tony, pointing to Clay's untouched tray.

"Not hungry," Clay said bluntly.

"Eat."

"I'm not-"

"Don't be such a baby and eat." Tony's tone brokered no room for argument.

"Fine," growled Clay sitting back down and unwrapping his sandwich.

oOoOoOo

Later that day after school finished, Clay was sitting in his room with Tony, holding Tony's walkman and one of Hannah's cassette tapes in his hands. He plugged his headphones in and put them over his ears, slid the tape into the walkman and pressed play.

" _Hey, it's Hannah... Hannah Baker."_

Clay stiffened at the sound of Hannah's voice, which seemed so sad and devoid of emotion. His breathing became rougher and deeper as he continued listening to the tape, of which Justin Foley was the subject. He was shocked to learn that he was one of the reasons why Hannah tried to kill herself, seeing as he was one of the people listening to it.

"So it wasn't true," Clay finally said once he had finished listening to the first tape.

"What wasn't" said Tony, though Clay had the feeling that Tony knew exactly what he was talking about.

"The part about them not doing anything more than kiss," said Clay.

"Did you assume otherwise?" asked Tony.

"No! Well, I never believed that she was a slut like the rumours said. Just that she was... experienced," admitted Clay.

"Honestly, I thought the same thing," said Tony. "Do you want to continue?"

"Sure," said Clay.

Clay ejected the tape, flipped it, then put it back in and pressed play. All through the night, Clay listened to how Jessica, Alex, Tyler, Courtney, Marcus, Zach, Ryan and Sheri each took part in destroying Hannah's life. What he couldn't understand, however, was what he did to hurt Hannah so badly that she wanted to kill herself.

"You okay man?" asked Tony.

Clay looked up to Clay and slowly nodded his head, grabbing the sixth tape. Before he could put it in, however, Tony grabbed his hand.

"Are you sure?" said Tony.

"Huh?" asked Clay, feeling confused.

"You look like you could use a break," pressed Tony, still not letting go of Clay's hand.

"I'm fine. I need to know what happened," said Clay. To be truthful, Clay was exhausted physically, mentally and emotionally. He was sickened by Hannah's words, and even more disgusted by his classmates.

"Okay man," said Tony, finally letting go of Clay's hand.

Cay pushed the tape into the walkman and pressed play. He was stunned when Hannah said his name, learning why exactly Hannah included him. Clay eyes filled with tears when Hannah didn't blame him for doing anything wrong, explaining how his company and make out session at Jessica's party was one of the most magical moments of her life, and a brief moment where she felt truly happy. The tears in Clay's eyes spilled down his cheeks when Hannah said she blamed herself for kicking out of the room that night at Jessica's party.

When his tape finished, Clay was sobbing, feeling wracked with guilt about everything, despite Hannah's insistence to the contrary.

"This is all my fault," cried Clay. Tony rubbed Clay's back in comfort, trying to ease Clay's pain.

"It's not your fault Clay," soothed Tony.

"It is though! If I hadn't left her, Bryce wouldn't have raped Jessica! Sheri wouldn't have knocked down that sign and Jeff would still be alive! Hannah wouldn't have tried to kill herself!" shouted Clay, standing up from his bed and pacing his room.

"Quiet! Your parents might hear you!" hissed Tony.

"I should have helped her!" continued Clay, his shoulder shaking as he sobbed loudly.

"You can still help her!" said Tony. "Be there for her when she wakes up, help her. Give her a reason to not try to kill herself again."

"How?" asked Clay.

Tony's face remained impassive. "Just be her friend. Be more attentive to her needs," he said. "Visit her at the hospital whenever you can."

"Yeah, you're right," said Clay, sniffing as he rubbed his eyes. He looked down at the discarded walkman.

"Do you want to continue?" asked Tony.

"yeah..." mumbled Clay, sitting back down on his bed. He picked up the walkman, put his headphones over his ears, flipped the tape, then pressed play.

oOoOoOo

"Hi. Clay Jensen, here to see Hannah Baker," said Clay to the receptionist at the hospital. The receptionist, a younger attractive woman, merely nodded her head and gave Clay directions to Hannah's room before she turned her attention back to the monitor in front of her.

Feeling slightly put off by the lady's curt attitude, Clay set off to Hannah's room. He hopped into an elevator and pressed the button that would take him to the third floor, and concentrated on the soft music playing that was typical of elevators. It was odd that of all things, elevator music would be the thing to calm Clay's erratic emotions. The elevator stopped abruptly and a pleasant female voice spoke from the elevator's speakers, telling Clay it was his stop.

He walked out slowly, turning his head side to side to see where Hannah's room number might be. He had been told that she had been moved to a smaller room while she recovered, so Clay was in unfamiliar territory, though he probably didn't remember where her old room was. Clay spotted the Hannah's room, number 34, down the hall to his left.

Clay paused before knocking on the door, and the door swung open to reveal a pleasantly surprised Mrs Baker standing before him.

"Clay! How nice to see you!" said Mrs Baker. Clay heard somebody cough behind her, though he couldn't see who it was.

"Uh, hi," said Clay. "I just came to see Hannah and see how you're doing."

Mrs Baker beamed at Clay, but he could see that her eyes were bloodshot and had large purple bags under them. "How sweet of you. Come in! Come in!" said Mrs Baker enthusiastically, making room for Clay to enter.

Clay stuffed his hands in the pockets of his jeans and looked around the room. It didn't appear as sterilized as Hannah's previous room, and definitely felt cozier. There was a wooden bedside table that had a small stack of magazines and a framed photograph of a beautiful sunset orange primrose. There was a wide window that offered a view of the streets below, which was bustling with activity as people went about their day to day lives. Sitting at Hannah's side in a comfy-looking armchair was Mr Baker, who was reading a well-worn classic novel.

Hannah herself, Clay noted, looked much healthier than the last time he saw her. Even when she was at full health, Hannah had pale skin, but her cheeks her flushed with a rosy pink, and her breathing was long and even. Hannah looked at peace, and Clay's heart swelled.

"How is she?" he asked.

"Doing well," said Mr Baker, looking up from his novel to stare at Clay. "She's recovering a little faster than anticipated, but there are some small problems."

"Like what?" said Clay, his eyebrows furrowing.

"She has some nerve damage in her left arm, which apparently had given her partial paralysis in her hand," explained Mrs Baker. "She'll have full function of everything, she just won't feel some of her fingers."

"Oh," muttered Clay, that feeling of guilt welling up inside him again.

"It's a lot better than the alternative," added Mr Baker thoughtfully. Clay and Mrs Baker nodded their heads in agreement at that.

"Come, sit down," said Mrs Baker, gesturing to an empty arm chair on the other side of Hannah's bed.

"What about you?" said Clay, noticing that Mrs Baker was standing up as well. She waved her hand in the air dismissively.

"Oh, don't worry about me. I usually sit on the end of Hannah's bed anyway," said Mrs Baker nonchalantly. Not seeing any alternative, Clay took the offered chair and sat down. He stared intently at Hannah's face, framed by her wavy hair that hung just above her shoulders. Clay longed for Hannah to wake up, just so he could stare into her eyes that were such a shade of light blue that they looked almost grey.

He realised that Mr Baker was looking at him curiously and Clay looked away from Hannah, his cheeks flushing red with embarrassment. He failed to notice Mrs Baker glaring at her husband, and Mr Baker's indifferent shrug before he returned to his novel.

There was silence for several minutes as Mr Baker continued reading his novel, while mrs Baker began flipping through the pages of a magazine, muttering to herself about this celebrity's dress and that famous person's latest hairstyle. Clay, on the other hand just stared at Hannah, offering his silent support and praying that she would get better.

"I have to go to work," said Mr Baker finally, putting a bookmark between the pages of his novel and standing up from his armchair. Mrs Baker looked up and gave him a stern look. "I'm sorry honey, but somebody has to watch the store," he continued.

"I can't come with you," said Mrs Baker in a hard tone.

"Olivia-"

"No! Somebody has to be here, just in case she wakes up."

"I can't run the shop by myself."

"And I'm not leaving her!"

"I can help," cut in Clay. both of Hannah's parents turned to him. "I-I can help you run the store. I've got work off for the next two days and you don't need to pay me or anything, I'll just help around where you need me."

Mr Baker raised an eyebrow at Clay, while Mrs Baker looked like she might burst into tears.

"That's very kind of you Clay, thank you. But I think you should at least let us pay-" started Mr Baker.

"I don't need the money," interrupted Clay, feeling stubborn. "I just want to help out."

Mr Baker sighed and ran his hand through his dark, wavy hair that was beginning to grey in some areas. "Okay then. Come on down to the pharmacy when you can, and I'll set you to work," he said. He walked over and shook Clay's hand, then gave his wife a kiss on the cheek before he departed, leaving Clay and Mrs Baker alone together. Clay fidgeted under Mrs Baker's piercing look.

"You're a strange boy, Clay," said Mrs Baker.

"Uhhh..." said Clay.

"I don't mean that as an insult it's just that there aren't many boys like you these days," added Mrs Baker quickly.

"Hannah said the same thing to me once," said Clay, grinning for the first time in days. Mrs Baker smiled back and said nothing more.

"I should uh... I should probably meet your husband at work," said Clay. He excused himself, giving Hannah one final longing look before he left the room as well.

From her sitting spot on Hannah's bed, Mrs Baker reached over and gently tucked a stray lock of hair behind Hannah's hair. "That boy really has it for you," she whispered lovingly to her sleeping daughter. "I just wish you had seen it sooner."


	3. Chapter 3- Eyes Watching You

_A/N- I decided to have Clay listen to the tapes all in one night like how it is in the book as a plot device more than anything else, which will be explained later on in the story. But for now, enjoy the latest chapter._

 **Chapter 3**

Clay parked his bicycle outside of the Baker's pharmacy before heading inside. The shop's door bell jingled, signaling someone entering when Clay opened the door. It was a small pharmacy, with only a few shelves that were half-full. Mr Baker was behind the main counter, sorting through a box of supplies. He looked up when Clay entered and waved the boy over.

"You ready to work?" said Mr Baker expectantly.

"Sure," said Clay.

Mr Baker smiled. "Good, now first off some of these shelves need to be restocked. After that maybe you can help me with bringing in some supplies from out back," he said.

Clay nodded his head without saying a word and grabbed the box Mr Baker offered him from the counter before going over to the nearest shelf. Clay opened up the box, revealing several smaller boxes of chocolates. Clay stacked them neatly on the shelves where their tags were, then moved on to the next box. On and on Clay went for almost half an hour until he paused on the last box.

Inside were cartons of various stationary products, including pencils, erasers, small notepads and pens. Clay froze when he saw a small packet of razor blades that looked exactly like the one Hannah used to cut her wrists open.

He suddenly felt his mind take him back to the night he and Tony found Hannah bleeding out in her bathtub, her eyes glazed over as her strength leaked out from her wrists. He remembered seeing the very blade that pierced Hannah's flesh, bloodstained yet still glistening on the wet bathroom tiles. The blade seemed to glow as Clay imagined it, just lying there on the floor like it hadn't just been responsible for almost killing the best thing in his life.

"Clay?"

Clay was suddenly back in the Baker's pharmacy, holding the packet of razors in a death grip, crinkling the plastic that contained the razor blades. Mr Baker was standing next to Clay, looking at with a concerned expression.

"Are you okay?" asked Mr Baker.

"Yeah I- yeah I'm fine. Just lost in thought," stammered Clay, shaking his head as he put the packet on its shelf. Mr Baker's darted from Clay to the razor blades, then back to Clay.

"You were remembering, weren't you?" said Mr Baker.

"Yeah," said Clay quietly.

"Can you tell me about it?" It was a simple question, but one that filled Clay's mind with painful memories. Could he tell Mr Baker about it? Probably not, it hurt too much. But he was Hannah's father, and probably deserved to know.

"I was at home doing homework. I'd just gotten back from work you see," started Clay, not even being fully aware that he was speaking. "I had actually seen Hannah earlier in the day, both at school and at work, when she came to drop her uniform off at the Crestmont. I should have known then that something was wrong, because she didn't stop to chat like she usually does when we see each other.

"Tony came to my house, saying that he thought Hannah was in trouble because he had seen her before and thought she looked really bad. So we went to your house. She wasn't answering either of our calls or texts, and there was no reply when we knocked on the door. We knew she was home, so Tony knocked down the door. We didn't know where she was because she wasn't answering us, until I almost slipped on the floor upstairs.

"The water was coming from the bathroom, and the door was unlocked. I like to think that Hannah left it unlocked because she wanted to be found, hopefully by you and her mom before it was too late. It was awful. The water from the bath had turned pink from the blood. You didn't see the cuts, but they went from her wrists all the way up to the inside of her elbows on both arms. They were clean cuts, no jagged edges, just two long, thin red lines with blood pouring from them.

"She was already almost... almost dead when we got there. She was so pale, it was almost like seeing a ghost. There was no life in her eyes, like her body was still functioning barely, but she had already died. She had dropped the razor blade on the floor. We quickly acted. I carried Hannah while Tony drove us to the hospital. That's why I was covered in blood and soaking wet that night. It was the worst night of my life."

It was like Clay's soul had become detached from his body, his mouth deciding to run on autopilot while his consciousness drifted off who knows where. He hadn't realised he had been silently crying until he tasted the salty tears which had trickled down his cheeks to his mouth. Mr Baker too was crying, but he had a hand on Clay's shoulder, like he was trying to comfort the younger boy and not himself.

"I don't know why you wanted to know what happened that night, and to be quite honest, I'd rather not have to relive it if I can help it. But I can't. the image of Hannah just sitting in that bathtub waiting to die haunts me at every turn. In my dreams, in my own bathroom, when I see a damn razor blade," continued Clay.

"Thank you," said Mr Baker as he pulled a handkerchief from his pocket to wipe the tears from his face. "I can't imagine what you're going through, and I am sorry for what you had to see, but you saved Hannah's life."

"I don't regret it sir," said Clay. "I'd do it all over again if I had to."

"I realise that," said Mr Baker gratefully. "Thank you."

Clay only nodded as he put the last packet of razor blades on the shelf.

oOoOoOo

The next day, Clay was sitting with Tony in his Mustang, watching Zach Dempsey sitting in his car in the school parking lot as he listened to the first set of tapes Hannah had mentioned. Before everything changed, Clay hadn't minded Zach. He was popular in school and he hung out with the jocks both inside and outside of school, but was still friendly to everyone else. Now, Clay was distrustful of him and everyone else mentioned in the tapes.

"Are you sure we should be doing this?" said Tony.

"You said that the note Hannah left you told you to keep an eye out on everyone who's on the tapes, so that's what we're doing," said Clay, not taking his eyes off Zach.

"True, but I don't see why you're here," said Tony.

"I've already listened to the tapes."

"But why are you here?"

Clay sighed. "Because I want to see everyone's reaction to the tapes," he said slowly.

"For what purpose?"

"To see if they feel the guilt I felt."

Zach took his headphones off and looked out the window of his car with a shocked expression on his face. Then Clay watched as he rested his forehead on the steering wheel of his car, blocking Clay's view of his face, and his whole body started shaking. It took Clay a moment to realise that Zach was crying.

"I think it's safe to say that Zach feels guilty," remarked Tony.

Clay couldn't help but agree with Tony, but that didn't make him want to forgive Zach for what he did to Hannah.

"What are we gonna do when Bryce gets the tapes?" asked Tony.

"Bryce? Why him?" said Clay. Tony shrugged.

"Well, if what Hannah said is true, then Bryce isn't going to want anyone else to find out," said Tony.

"So what? We're not gonna tell anyone?" said Clay, his voice rising in volume slightly.

"I'm not saying that. but there's a chance he might try to destroy them. After all, the tapes can be used as evidence. The police have already started up an investigation as to why she tried to kill herself. They've already talked to you and I."

That was true. Just before Clay and Tony left the hospital that first night, they had been stopped by the police who asked them questions about what happened. Clay had never felt so ashamed in his life, standing before the cops in a bloodstained t-shirt.

"Maybe he shouldn't get the tapes," said Clay. "That way he won't know we're coming for him."

"A tape from a girl who almost died won't be enough for the cops to arrest Bryce," said Tony.

"Then we get a confession out of him," suggested Clay.

Tony snorted. "Yeah right, how are we gonna do that?" he asked.

"I'll think of something," muttered Clay, just as the two watched Zach put the tapes into the box they came in, then drive away.

"Ryan's next," said Tony, starting up his muscle car to follow Zach.

Clay sighed and shifted in his seat. "Let's get to it then," he said, just as Tony drove out of the car park.

oOoOoOo

"Justin's looking at you," said Tony. It was lunchtime at Liberty High, and Clay and Tony were sitting together again. Clay peered over his shoulder to see Justin Foley sitting at the table usually occupied by the jocks, staring at Clay with a cold look in his eyes. Clay turned back to Tony with a confused look.

"What did I do?" he asked.

"I don't know, but i'll bet it has something to do with the tapes," said Tony.

Clay rolled his eyes. "Great, just what I need today. Justin Foley watching my every move," he said sarcastically.

"He's not looking at you anymore," said Tony.

But that wasn't the end. When lunch ended, Clay returned to his locker to collect his books for the next class, but walked over to Hannah's locker. Somebody had decorated it with photos of her, along with colourful stickers and numerous 'get well soon' cards. Clay felt his temper rising. So _now_ people decided to be nice to Hannah, right after she almost died. These same people were probably part of the reason Hannah tried to kill herself, and he was willing to put his money on it being Courtney Crimson.

"I don't believe what she said about you," said somebody behind Clay.

Clay turned around to see a fuming Justin standing before him.

"What?" said Clay, feeling genuine confusion.

"I don't believe what she said about you," repeated Justin. "I think you're as guilty as the rest of us, she's just trying to protect you."

Clay quickly caught on. "Oh, I don't think anything I could have done would be worse than what you let happen to Jessica," he fired back.

Justin took a step back like he had been smacked, looking genuinely surprised that Clay even knew anything. Clay thought that Justin didn't even think Clay had heard the tapes yet. Justin didn't say anything more, other than giving Clay one last glare before walking away.

Clay's eyes followed Justin until he disappeared down the hall, his blood boiling at the confrontation. Clay took a few minutes to calm himself, before heading to Physics. He was stopped, however by Courtney Crimson.

"Clay! How are you?" she asked in that sweet voice so characteristic of her.

"Fine," grumbled Clay.

"Are you sure? You look a little upset," pressed Courtney.

"Really? And why should that be of any concern to you?" snapped Clay. Courtney blanched a little, but she quickly recovered.

"I'm just a little worried about you," she replied so innocently.

"Why? Are you hoping that I can ease your conscience? Or are you perhaps looking for a juicy story to add to the rumour mill? 'Clay Jensen, the guy who went mad because he saw a girl try to kill herself.' Has a nice ring to it, don't you think?" Clay growled in a tone very uncharacteristic of himself.

"I don't know what you-" began Courtney, but Clay cut her off.

"Don't know what? That I know what you did to Hannah?" said Clay.

Courtney took a step back, her eyes welling with tears. "You weren't supposed to know till after," she whispered.

"Well, the plan changed when I found Hannah," seethed Clay, before he turned away from the stunned girl and marched off to class. When he got to class, he dumped his bag unceremoniously under his desk. He took note of Marcus Cole watching him curiously, but Clay said nothing. He couldn't concentrate on what the teacher was saying, his mind drifting away to memories of times he spent with Hannah, such as when he took her up to the roof of the Crestmont to watch the lunar eclipse, their dance at the Winter Formal, their first kiss...

Clay's eyes zeroed in on the empty desk to the side of the room, the desk that belonged to Hannah, one that would hopefully be occupied by said girl again soon. God, Clay missed Hannah so much. He just wanted her to wake up, so he could tell her how sorry he was, to help her, to tell her he loved her.

The bell rang, signaling the end of period. Clay quickly packed his bag and exited the classroom, then out of the school.

oOoOoOo

When Clay got to the hospital and Hannah's room, he was the only one in the room besides the unconscious form of Hannah. Her parents weren't around, so he plopped himself down in the armchair that was usually occupied by Mr Baker. He took Hannah's hand his own, and gently squeezed.

"Hey," he said. "I don' know if you can hear me, but it's me, Clay, otherwise known as Helmet or Astronomy Boy." He smirked a little at that.

Hannah didn't respond, and Clay didn't continue speaking for a few more minutes. The only sounds in the room were the occasional beeping from the monitors hooked up to Hannah and the breathing coming from both Clay and Hannah.

"I'm sorry," said Clay, "for everything. If I had known what you were going through, I would have helped. I should have helped anyway, but I was too blind to see. You always looked so strong, so unshakeable, but looking back and after listening to the tapes, I did see what was happening to you. The tapes are making their rounds, but the only people who I think actually regret what they did to you are Alex and Zach. They're the only two so far who look ashamed of what they did.

"But you were wrong about something. I didn't- don't -hate you. I never could. I don't think anybody actually does hate you, but you've been used by others so much I can understand why you would think so."

Clay stopped then, his voice threatening to crack. He didn't want to show Hannah how broken he was, even if she was unconscious. Curse that damn male stubbornness.

"I'm going to help you get through this when you wake up," swore Clay.

He gave Hannah's hand one last gentle squeeze, and could have sworn that she squeezed his hands back. Clay smiled, then let go of her and left the room, closing the door behind him.

oOoOoOo

"How was school?" asked Clay's mom.

"Not too bad," said Clay, shoveling a large piece of steak into his mouth.

"Your friend. Is she doing okay?" said Mom.

"Yeah she is actually. But she still hasn't woken up."

Clay ignored the concerned look from his father and the piercing gaze of his mother, focussing on the plate of food in front of him.

"Clay, you're mother and I have been talking..." began Dad awkwardly.

"And we think you should go back on the meds," finished Mom.

Clay looked up from his food with a shocked look on his face. "What?" he said.

"You haven't been yourself since you helped your friend," said Mom.

"Well that's what happens when your find someone you care about lying in a bathtub full of their own blood," snapped Clay.

"Watch your tone young man," admonished Dad.

"Why? How do you know what it's like to find the person you care about the most almost dead? When that image is seared into your brain for the rest of your life? It keeps me up at night Mom!" shouted Clay, rising angrily from his seat. His parents said nothing while he continued his tirade.

"I'm fucking scared! I'm scared that she might never wake up, despite what the doctors said! I'm scared that if she does wake up, she'll just try to kill herself again! I'm scared that I won't be there for her, just like last time!"

With that, Clay stormed off into his bedroom, leaving his stunned parents behind.

"Do you get the feeling that Clay likes this Hannah girl as more than a friend?" said Dad. Mom simply rolled her eyes and got up from the table as well.

Meanwhile, Clay lay in his bed, crying into his pillow. It seemed like that was all he ever did when nobody was around these days. It was a testament to just how much he needed Hannah to be alright.

oOoOoOo

The first thing Clay noticed when he got back to school was the amount of posters that decorated the hallways. They all said a variant of the same message, 'Suicide is not an option,' 'Ask for help,' 'If you think somebody is going through something, reach out to them.'

"What the fuck," muttered Clay incredulously.

"I know, right?" said somebody next to him. It was Alex Standall, subject number three of Hannah's tapes.

"Oh uh, hey Alex," said Clay awkwardly.

"It's like they don't even realise what will happen when she comes back," said Alex.

"What do you mean?"

"All these posters, they're just gonna make Hannah feel guilty over what she did," explained Alex. "I mean, it's bad enough that _we_ feel guilty for nearly killing her."

Clay didn't have to ask to know what Alex was talking about. But he didn't realise that Alex knew that Clay had already listened to them.

"How did you-" began Clay.

"I hang out with Justin," said Alex. "He's pretty pissed that you already know everything. So is Courtney and Marcus, but Zach and Jessica don't really care anymore. They're hoping to see Hannah when she wakes up to apologize."

"What about you?" asked Clay.

"Me? I think I'm in the same boat as Jess and Zach," answered Alex, looking at Clay sadly.

"Do you think she was telling the truth? About Bryce?"

"I'm not sure. I wouldn't put it past him though." The bell rang, signaling the start of class. "I'll see you around Clay," said Alex, before he left Clay to head to his own classes.

Clay spotted Mr Porter coming up towards Clay then. "Clay! Can I talk to you for a minute?" he asked once he was close enough.

"Sure," said Clay, following the guidance councillor to the school office.

"Take a seat," said Mr Porter once they were inside his office.

Clay dumped his bag down on the floor and sat down opposite Mr Porter, separated by a desk between them.

"I just wanted to see how you were doing. After the whole incident with finding Miss Baker," said Mr Porter once the two were settled in.

Clay shrugged. "Well as I can be, I guess," he said indifferently.

"I know it's a hard thing, seeing something like that," said Mr Porter gravely.

"Do you?" challenged Clay.

"Excuse me?"

"I'm sorry, but have you actually held a half-dead girl in your arms? Do you actually know what that's like?" elaborated Clay.

Mr Porter didn't say anything at first, instead choosing to seemingly study Clay for a moment. "No," he finally said.

"It's terrifying." Just then Clay's cell phone started to ring, so he pulled it out of his pocket and checked who was calling. It was Mr Baker. "Crap, excuse me for a moment," said Clay as he answered the phone. "Hello?"

" _Clay, it's Mr Baker."_

"Hi Mr Baker. What can I do for you?"

" _It's Hannah. She's awake."_

 _A/N- OOO left you on a wee bit of a cliffhanger! I was honestly planning on having Hannah wake up much later on in the story but I decided against it because I wanted to get the story going faster. Hope you enjoyed this!_


	4. Chapter 4- We Help Each Other

_A/N- First off, I would like to sincerely apologize for the delay. I did something stupid and ended up hurting myself (I jumped off a cliff into a waterhole and landed funny). Also thank you so much for the reviews I was honestly not expecting the amount of love this story has received. Anyways on with the show shall we?_

 **Chapter 4**

Clay didn't even remember clearly what happened next. He was aware of him ending the call with Mr Baker and leaving Mr Porter's office without another word, ignoring the counselors pleas for him to come back and explain himself. Clay was pretty sure that he had ridden his bike to the hospital, and was honestly quite surprised that he hadn't killed himself on the way over, seeing as he didn't even remember the journey.

And so now, here he was, standing outside of the Baker's hospital room, too terrified to even knock. Clay's mind was whirling with questions. What could he say? What would _she_ say? Would she thank him? Or hate him?

Taking a deep breath and steeling his emotions, Clay opened the door, peering his head through cautiously. He sees Hannah's parents huddled over the bed, conversing with her.

Clay's heart skips a beat. Or several.

She's _there._ Alive. Her eyes are opened and she's alive. Clay feels like he could cry at the beautiful sight before him.

She saw him first, his body still halfway through the doorway, and she gives him a smile that Clay swore could light up the darkest room in the universe. He didn't smile back though, his mind still reeling from the fact that Hannah was awake. And alive.

Her parents saw him next, and they too smile at him. They got up from their seats, telling her that they'll be outside waiting so that they could give the two teenagers some privacy. Mr Baker patted Clay on the shoulder as he walked past, and Clay glanced back just as the door closed behind him.

He approached the bed slowly, almost as if he was worried that any sudden movement might frighten the girl. As he got closer, Clay noticed the diner details of Hannah. She looked exhausted, like she would pass out again at any moment and not wake up for another week. But she definitely looked healthier. Sure, she was a little skinnier from the lack of her using her muscles, but it was something that Clay was certain could be remedied.

"Hey Helmet," said Hannah, her voice hoarse and croaky.

Clay couldn't help but smile at the nickname. "Hey Hannah," he replied, taking the armchair closest to her.

Hannah reached out her hand, and Clay didn't hesitate to grab it with his own and hold it tenderly.

"Shit Hannah I'm so, so sorry," he said.

"It's not your fault," she soothed.

"But it is! I should have known something would happen, I should have seen the signs!"

"Clay!" said Hannah loudly, forcing her into a coughing fit. Clay quickly grabbed the half-full glass of water and handed it to her, which she gratefully accepted and took a long drink from it. Smacking her lips in satisfaction, she gave the glass back to Clay before holding his hand again. "It wasn't your fault," she repeated.

"How?" asked Clay. "You said you didn't blame me in the tapes but-"

"What?" interrupted Hannah, a disbelieving look on her face.

"The tapes. Everyone's pretty much heard them," said Clay.

Hannah closed her eyes and took a deep breath, before she started to cry. Clay was stunned for a moment before he leaned forward in his chair and rubbed Hannah's arm slowly and gently. It was something his mom did when he was feeling down, and it seemed to be having the same effect on Hannah.

"Shit. Shit fuck shit shit fuck," groaned Hannah. "I've fucked everyone over."

"Hannah, they're only doing what you wanted them to," said Clay.

"So it's my fault?" she snapped.

 _Shit, I said the wrong thing... again,_ Clay thought glumly.

"No. But you wanted them to listen to the tapes for a reason," he said slowly. "Besides, we all deserve to feel that guilt. We ruined you."

"You didn't," said Hannah, so quietly Clay had to strain his ears to catch it.

"Yes, I did," he argued. "I should have stayed with you that night at Jessica's party. You needed me and I left, and then you saw Bryce rape Hannah and then Sheri knocked over that sign and Jeff..." he trailed off then.

"But I shouted at you to leave," urged Hannah.

"And I listened! I knew you didn't mean it but I still left!" said Clay, his voice rising slightly.

"And now I've probably ruined all those other kids' lives!" yelled Hannah.

Clay didn't say anything, instead choosing to duck his head in shame.

"You hate me, don't you."

Clay's head whipped up so fast that it startled Hannah. "What? Why would you say that?" he asked.

"I don't know, I just know you do," she said sadly, and it was her turn to duck her head.

Clay squeezed Hannah's hand with his own and reached over with his other hand to place under Hannah's chin. With a gentle touch, he turned Hannah's head until it was facing him. Her eyes were full of so much sorrow and despair that it broke Clay's heart to see.

"Hannah, if there was one thing in the world you were wrong about, it would be that," he said seriously. "If I hated you, I wouldn't have bothered to come visit you every day and every hour I'm not at school or working. I wouldn't be up all night, wishing I could go back in time to help you sooner. I probably wouldn't have bothered to save you."

"Why did you save me?" she whispered hoarsely. "I'm fucked up. I'm sick in the head, Clay. I still feel like I want to finish what I started and kill myself. I don't know how to get back back to who I was before, and I _terrified_ of what will happen when I have to go back to school. So tell me, why did you save me?"

He opened his mouth to tell her exactly why he did it, but paused. Clay didn't feel it was the right time to tell Hannah that he loved her with all his being. "Because I care about you," he said instead. "I don't give a shit if you're fucked up, because I'm pretty fucked up as well. I've had to deal with shit since I was a kid... well, a smaller kid. I didn't even know that you were hurting for God's sake, that you were practically screaming for help!

"And there are lots of other people out there who care about you too. Your parents, Tony, even my parents, and they've never met you yet! Hell, even Alex and Zach were crying when they heard the tapes, which I'm pretty sure means they care about you too.

"Hannah, high school isn't the end of the line. You- _we_ -have so much to live for afterwards. College, a job, even a family of our own one day."

Hannah sniffled when Clay finished, and she smiled at him. It was small, but Clay saw it all the same. "Since when did you become such a wise kid Helmet?" she joked, sounding a little bit like the old Hannah.

"I had to do a little bit of growing up," he said. "But it's not your fault," he added when Hannah's face became downcast again.

Hannah leaned her head back against her pillow and groaned. "Well aren't we a fucked up pair," she muttered.

"The worst," agreed Clay.

"What are we going to do?"

What were they going to do? Clay had never really thought about what might happen after Hannah woke up, being so preoccupied with the thought of just seeing her awake. But Clay was positive as to what they should do.

"We help each other," he said with such conviction he even surprised himself. "Whatever it takes, we're gonna get through this together."

"Together?" said Hannah skeptically, before smiling much more widely than before. "I think I like that."

Clay smiled as well, and the two teenagers stared into each other's eyes for what felt like forever. Hesitantly, Clay leaned forward and wrapped his arms around Hannah's shoulders. He felt her stiffen slightly, And Clay was about to let go quickly before he felt Hannah relax into his embrace and even wrap her own arms around him. They stayed that way for several minutes, and Clay could hear her crying into his shoulder, but he allowed it, whatever it took for Hannah to get better.

They finally broke apart when Hannah's parents came back in, this time accompanied by a doctor who had a cheerful expression on his face. Clay took it his cue to leave, allowing Mr and Mrs Baker to spend time with their daughter.

"I'll come back later today," promised Clay.

"Okay then. Bye Helmet," said Hannah.

Clay smiled warmly at her, before he turned to leave.

"Oh Clay?"

"Yeah?" said Clay, turning back around.

"Thank you. For saving my life," she said with genuine gratitude.

Clay smiled and nodded his head, his cheeks flushing with embarrassment before he left.

Hannah sighed and sunk lower into the bed once the door closed behind Clay. She felt as though she didn't deserve someone like Clay in her life. He was too pure for somebody as damaged as her. She caught her mother staring at her with a peculiar expression and frowned.

"What?" said Hannah with a hint of exasperation in her tone.

"Nothing," her mother said quickly, though she was fighting a smile.

"Mom," said Hannah in a low voice.

"Fine fine. I just think you should give Clay a chance," said her mom, and her dad nodded in agreement.

"What makes you think I wouldn't?"

"Nothing. But I think that Clay might just be the best thing for you."

Hannah's heart couldn't help but agree with her mother's statement as the doctor stepped forward to assess her.

oOoOoOo

For the first time in what felt like forever, Clay felt like a great burden had been lifted from his shoulders. Hannah was alive and awake, and willing to let him help her through this ordeal. It's what he should have done months ago, but Clay was more than willing to make up for his mistakes.

He returned back to school and entered the gymnasium to find a group of kids staring at him intently. By no coincidence , every single one of the teenagers gathered were the subjects of Hannah's tapes, though Clay noticed that Bryce wasn't among them.

Everyone had different expressions on their faces. Justin, Marcus and Courtney looked downright murderous, while Alex, Zach and Sheri looked worried and nervous. Jessica's eyes were darting from Clay to Justin then back again like she was watching a tennis match, while Ryan looked downright bored. Tyler looked uncomfortable, though he too had a similar expression on his face as Justin, Marcus and Courtney.

"Uh... what's up guys," stuttered Clay, surprised at the gathering.

"Where'd you run off to Jensen?" said Justin.

Clay frowned and felt his defences spring up before saying, "I was at the hospital seeing Hannah, and how'd you know I left?"

"We saw you run off in a hurry," said Zach.

"And why couldn't it wait for after school?" Justin pressed.

"Because she woke up," said Clay, a slight growl building in his throat.

Everybody's eyes widened at the news, though Alex looked more relieved than anything.

"Oh. Well, that's good," said Courtney in that sweet voice that Clay had come to loathe so much.

"Not that you're all concerned about it," seethed Clay.

Some people had the grace to look ashamed, though Justin's face turned red with anger as he took a step forward. Zach however, grabbed Justin by the arm and pulled him back, a warning look on his face.

"We're sorry about what happened, but we need to talk to you about some things," said Marcus in a polite voice.

"What?" said Clay, feeling confused.

"What we're trying to say is... we think it best if we put all of this behind us," explained Courtney.

"Excuse me?" growled Clay.

"We don't think that anybody else should know about everything," said Marcus. "Plus, that's what Hannah wanted."

"I think the rules of the tapes changed when Hannah didn't die," Clay ground out between clenched teeth.

"But still, can you think of all the shit that will go down if word gets out?" said Justin.

"Yeah I can actually," said Clay.

"And we deserve it," added Alex.

"Get fucked Standall," snapped Justin.

"Guys," said Zach, looking exhausted.

"Look, all we're saying that you should keep your mouth shut about all this," continued Justin.

"And if it's possible, try to convince Hannah to do the same thing," said Tyler.

"WHAT?!" bellowed Clay, his voice echoing through the gym. Zach, Alex, Sheri and Ryan looked at Tyler like he'd lost his mind.

"If word gets out, we're fucked!" said Marcus.

"So you want me to convince who almost died, which is our fault, by the way, to not speak about what happened?" snapped Clay.

"Yeah, what the fuck guys?" said Alex.

"This info could ruin us! Besides, we don't even know if she's telling the truth," said Courtney.

"Oh for God's sake Courtney," groaned Ryan, rolling his eyes at the girl. "We all know you're gay anyway so it's not like your big secret is that secret."

"Shut up Ryan," snapped Courtney.

"Enough!" shouted Marcus. Everyone stopped arguing and focussed on either Clay or Marcus. "Clay, just give it some thought, okay man?" he said, speaking to Clay like a cool kid acknowledging the presence of a nobody.

"Maybe," said Clay. "But if Hannah wants to make her story public and tell the authorities, I'm backing her one hundred percent."

Several of the kids' faces paled at that, but Clay had stormed out of the gym angrily, ending the discussion.

"Clay, wait up!" shouted someone behind him. Clay looked over his shoulder to see Zach and Alex jogging after him, stopping just before him.

"Look man, we're sorry about that," said Zach. "We didn't know they were gonna say that."

"Yeah. We think that's fucked up," said Alex.

"Uh, thanks," said Clay. Nothing was said for a few moments, none of the three boys really looking at each other.

"Hey, if you and Hannah plan on taking this public, we want to help," said Zach finally, throwing Clay off guard.

"What?"

"Yeah, we're actually sorry about what we did to Hannah, and we want to make it right," added Alex. "Everyone else in there are more worried about their reputations."

"You realise that shit's gonna hit the fan if Hannah does decide to tell somebody about all this?" said Clay.

"We wouldn't have followed you if we didn't," said Zach determinedly. Alex nodded his head in agreement as well.

"Fine. I'll talk to Hannah about what the other's want and I'll let you know what happens," sighed Clay, running his hand through his hair.

"Thanks Clay," said Alex.

"Yeah. And for what it's worth, we really are sorry about what happened to Hannah," said Zach before he walked away, Alex following closely behind him.

 _Well great, Hannah's gonna love this,_ Clay thought morbidly.

 _A/N- As you can no doubt tell, I have certain favourites amongst the characters. I absolutely hate Marcus, Courtney and Justin. Marcus and Courtney for obvious reasons, but I really dislike Justin because of what he did to Hannah and also not telling Jessica that Bryce raped her. I understand that he was just trying to protect her and that he came from a bad household, but that's no excuse for his actions. I mean, come one he wanted to kill Clay to get him to shut up! Who the fuck thinks that?!_

 _Zach and Alex were among the first to feel actual remorse for what they did to Hannah in the show, and since Hannah's still alive in this story they're more inclined to do the right thing this time. I'm not making Alex as depressed in this story, again because Hannah's alive, but he will be struggling still. Ryan and Sheri will also join Clay's side later on, but I'm not particularly fond of Sheri. Ryan's a fucking legend though. I mean, he told Courtney to get fucked!_

 _Anyway hope you guys enjoyed this chapter and I look forward to your input!_


	5. Chapter 5- Allies

_A/N-Wow, I am simply blown away by the responses to this story. It's a truly humbling and rewarding experience honestly. Thank you guys so much for your support and encouraging me to continue writing. I just want to add that I don't want to take away the_ _ **very**_ _important message both the 13RW show and book try to deliver us, as it is truly something we as human beings need to reflect upon, but I guess this is what I had hoped would happen to Hannah instead. Now, without further ado, let us continue._

 **Chapter 5**

It was with a heavy heart that Clay carried when he returned to the hospital to see Hannah again after school. The other kids, bar Zach and Alex (so far), wanted him to convince Hannah to keep her story a secret in order to protect their lives and reputations. How could people be so selfish? For fuck's sake, _they were almost responsible for the death of a girl!_

At least Clay was certain that Alex and Zach were completely against it, and he had also seen Sheri hesitate. Clay was sure that he could probably convince Jessica to come to their side as well, he just had to figure out how to get Justin out of her head. Ryan probably wouldn't take a side and would instead probably sit down with a bag of popcorn and watch the drama unfold as if he were watching a reality TV show.

Hannah gave Clay an angelic smile when he walked into her room, and it only made Clay's heart sink further.

"You came back," she said quietly, almost as though she didn't quite believe it. Clay noted that her voice didn't sound as hoarse as before.

"I keep my word Ms Baker," said Clay with false arrogance, though his heart wasn't quite in the mood for joking. Hannah seemed to sense it as well, because her smile faded, replaced with concern for Clay instead.

"What's wrong?" asked Hannah.

How could Clay tell her?

"Something... happened at school today," said Clay slowly.

"What?" Hannah pressed.

"The other kids, the ones who heard the tapes... they had a meeting," answered Clay. "They wanted me to convince you not to go public with what happened to you."

Hannah's face turned blank, and her eyes took on a lifeless look as she looked away from Clay to seemingly stare at the wall on the other side of the room. Clay searched her face for any sign of a reaction, hoping that she wouldn't do something drastic.

"What did you say to them?" asked Hannah in an eerily calm voice.

"I said I wouldn't do it, and that I wasn't even sure if you even wanted to go public," said Clay.

Hannah was silent for a few moments, and Clay could see the gears turning in her head as she processed what he had told her.

"Why do they want me to keep my mouth shut?" she finally said.

"Um... I think some of them are worried of the repercussions that'll happen to them," Clay answered honestly. "I mean, Courtney's afraid of coming out to everyone, Marcus is more worried that his shot at becoming the valedictorian and his reputation will be blown, and Justin just seems to want everything kept under wraps."

"Why?"

"I'm not sure, but I don't think he wants the truth of what happened to Jessica to come out for some reason."

Hannah's eyes sparkled with unshed tears. "Do think I should?" she asked, her voice shaking slightly.

"Should what?" said Clay.

"Keep quiet," she elaborated.

Clay didn't speak right away, himself not sure of the answer. Should they? No doubt it'll end up going to court and there might be a lawsuit against the school for charges of bullying. Several of the kids involved would get in serious trouble as well. Bryce, and probably Justin would go to jail for a long time, Bryce for the rape of two young women, and Justin for being an accomplice in attempting to hide the truth. Sheri would face charges for failing to report damaged property resulting in the death of a fellow student, though more than likely she would get nothing more than a slap on the wrist. And Tyler, he would probably also face charges, for invasion of privacy and trespassing. Marcus could even get in trouble for sexual harassment, no matter how small or innocent he claimed it to be.

"I think that you should," said Clay finally, having thought it out.

Hannah's head snapped up, her eyes betraying the surprise and confusion she was feeling at the moment.

"But, just the serious stuff, although it's fine if you want to tell the entire truth," he said, "though Bryce needs to go to prison for what he did to you and Jessica," he added, his voice laced with anger and hatred.

Hannah flinched when Clay said Bryce's name, and Clay mentally slapped himself.

"Nobody will back us up though. It'll be the words of two teenagers against ten more," said Hannah hopelessly, her tears finally spilling over and down her cheeks.

"That's not true," said Clay. "Zach and Alex said they'd help us if you decided to go public, and I'm sure I could get Sheri on our side as well. Tony would gladly help too."

"But nobody would believe me if I say anything about Bryce," said Hannah. "He's the most popular guy in school. It would be the words of the class slut and outcast against Bryce-fucking-Walker."

"They'd believe you if Jessica testified against him with you," suggested Clay.

Hannah snorted, "Yeah right. She doesn't even know the truth and Justin is trying to keep it that way according to you," she said.

"I'll just have to try to find a way to get him out of her her head then," said Clay determinedly.

"How?"

Clay shrugged, "I don't know. But hey, it's me. I'll think of something."

Hannah let out a small laugh and Clay mentally congratulated himself.

"Thanks Helmet. You're a real life-saver, both figuratively and literally," said Hannah warmly as she stared at Clay with a look that Clay couldn't name. It made her seem as though she was staring into his soul, but in a way that made him feel like he wanted to be looked at that way again, only by Hannah.

Clay ducked his head in embarrassment at the compliment, which only made Hannah laugh again, this time a little louder.

"Classic Helmet, always so humble in the face of praise and adoration," joked Hannah, and Clay joined in on her laughter.

"Well you know what they say, humility is a great quality to have," said Clay, puffing out his chest slightly.

Hannah rolled her eyes, "And the moment's gone," she quipped. "But seriously, it's one of the things I like most about you."

There she was again, staring at him with that same penetrating look. Clay felt his cheeks heat up and he ducked his head to save himself from the embarrassment, and the to teenagers fell into comfortable silence. Clay began perusing the old magazines, hoping to find something he may have missed, and settled on working on one of the crossword puzzles in the back of one of them. Hannah had leaned back against her pillows, her face contorting into a look of deep concentration.

"Do you really think I should go public with my story?" Hannah finally asked, drawing Clay's attention away from his puzzle.

"Huh?" said Clay stupidly.

"Do you think I should go public with my story? Press charges and the like?" repeated Hannah.

Clay let out a long breath. "Personally, I would. But I don't think you have to make that decision just yet. Let's just concentrate on getting you better first, and then we'll see what happens next," he said.

Hannah nodded her head. "Yeah, I think that sounds good."

Clay's phone started buzzing then and he pulled it out of his pocket. Hannah stared at him curiously as he read the text message he received.

"Shit, Mom needs me home," said Clay, standing up as he pocketed his phone away.

He noticed the disappointed look Hannah had on her face and he put his thumb under her chin, pulling her head up till she was staring at him.

"I'll be back tomorrow," he promised.

Hannah nodded her head slowly, and her eyes darted down before quickly looked back up, her cheeks tinging slightly. _Was she looking at my lips?_ It was then that Clay realised how close they were to each other and he backed away. "See you later. I'll come by after school tomorrow. How far away are your parents?"

"They should be on their way back. Why?" said Hannah.

"I just didn't want you to be alone for too long," admitted Clay.

"Oh," she said. "Bye Helmet."

"Bye."

oOoOoOo

"Were you out with friends?" asked Clay's mom when he got home. She was in the kitchen, preparing dinner while Clay was perusing the fridge, scanning for any late afternoon snack.

"I was at the hospital visiting Hannah," he replied, his eyes zeroing in on a piece of leftover lasagna. He plucked it from the fridge and took a bite as he walked over to the bench, leaning against the counter.

"Oh? How is she?" asked Mrs Jensen.

"She woke up today," said Clay easily.

"Really? How is she?" said Mrs Jensen, surprise etched all over her face.

"Scared and a little upset, but she's recovering quickly."

Mrs Jensen stared intently at Clay, which he tried his best to ignore. Nut unfortunately for him, his mother had this kind of look that made it impossible to ignore easily.

"What is it?" said Clay with a roll of his eyes.

Mrs Jensen walked over to Clay, her eyes full of concern for her only son. "How close are you and Hannah?" she asked quietly.

Clay didn't, couldn't look at his mother when he spoke the next few words. "I really care about her Mom," he said, pain bleeding into his voice. "When I found her, I thought she was gonna die, and even waiting at the hospital for news, it felt like she had left a really big hole in me. It fucking physically hurt seeing her like that, like I wanted to die as well if she went.

"I don't think I could live without her Mom," he finished, his voice cracking at the end as he tried to stifle a sob.

Mrs Jensen pulled Clay into a tight hug, providing him with the love only a mother could give her child. Clay kept crying into her shoulder as he returned the hug, his tears soaking through her shirt.

Clay sniffed and wiped his face with the sleeve of his shirt when he pulled away from his mom and smiled gratefully.

"Thanks," he said.

"If you need to talk Clay, I'm here for you," said Mrs Jensen, her own eyes brimming with unshed tears.

"I know," was all Clay said before he left the kitchen and up the stairs into his bedroom.

He left the door open, as per his mother's request and at down at his desk, opening up his textbook to begin his homework. He felt a lot better after talking to his mom, and it was at that moment when Clay swore to be more open with people.

oOoOoOo

Clay saw them first as he sat alone at a table during lunchtime the next day. They were heading his way, no doubt to ask him about what Hannah said to him. They sat across from Clay when they came to him, placing their trays on the table, though neither of them touched their food.

"So what did Hannah say?" asked Zach, the first to speak.

"She isn't sure yet, but I told her she doesn't have to make a decision right away," said Clay.

Next to Zach, Alex let out a sigh, though whether it was in relief or exasperation, Clay wasn't sure.

"Why aren't you sitting with Justin and the others?" asked Clay.

"We... had a falling out," said Zach. "He and Marcus think we're being idiots for supporting you."

"And they're trying to protect Bryce for whatever stupid reason," added Alex with a roll of his eyes.

"Oh," said Clay. "So why are you sitting with me?"

"Why not?" retorted Alex. "You're the first one who wants to do something about what happened, and we want to help."

"Besides, we could do with some better company," said Zach.

"And that better company being me, the awkward, antisocial kid in our school," said Clay, raising an eyebrow slightly in disbelief.

"Well yeah," said Alex in a sarcastic tone. "But we feel like we owe you some answers."

As if on queue, Zach reached into his pocket and pulled out his wallet. From inside the wallet Zach grabbed a folded piece of paper that had his name on it. Clay instantly recognised Hannah's handwriting, and comprehension dawned on him.

"You never through away the note she gave you," he said.

Zach gave a nervous chuckle. "I sometimes read it, you know. To better understand what she went through," he said, his voice dying down to a whisper. "Do you want to read it?"

Clay shook his head. "I don't think I could," he admitted. Did Hannah lie? Did she lie about other things?

Zach seemed to sense what was going on inside Clay's head because he shook his head. "I don't think she was lying, I think she just thought I threw it away," he said.

Clay remained skeptical, but conceded the point, promising himself to ask Hannah about it after school.

"Why do you hang out with those guys?" Clay asked Zach. "From what I've seen, you don't really fit in even though you try."

"I don't know," said Zach. "I guess because I'm on the basketball team I feel like I have to. But it's hard, you know? Trying to be something you're not. And I feel bad, because I should have said something when the others were talking about Hannah in that way."

"Sometimes we have to make a choice between what is right and what is easy," quipped Alex.

"Really? You're gonna pull Dumbledore on me?" snapped Zach.

"You read Harry Potter?" said Clay, his face looking stunned.

Alex too looked at Zach weirdly, as though he had grown a second head or something.

"What? Just because i'm a jock doesn't mean I don't like to read," defended Zach and he sighed awkwardly.

"Uh... right," said Clay. He turned to Alex. "So why are you hear?"

Alex's face darkened and he bowed his head.

"Because I fucking hate what I did to her and Jess," he whispered. "That list was stupid, and I regret it every day. It's worse now because of the impact it had on Hannah."

"I'm not gonna lie, it was pretty fucking stupid," said Clay.

Zach hummed in agreement, though he too looked abashed, as he was one of the boys who had talked lustfully about Hannah's backside.

"But you need to apologize, to both of them," continued Clay.

"I've already tried with Jess, but she won't listen," said Alex. "And I don't think Hannah wants to see me either."

"She does," said Clay, making both Alex and Zach's heads snap up to attention, disbelief on their faces. "Well, she never actually said that, but she was grateful for you when I said you both wanted to help."

Alex and Zach both looked relieved, but Alex's face fell again. "What about Jess? She's always around Justin," he groaned.

"Well, this is actually part of something I had planned," said Clay, leaning in. Zach and Alex did the same and listened intently to Clay's next words. "We all know that Bryce raped Hannah and Jess, and he deserves to be punished for it."

Zach looked uncomfortable, but didn't say anything.

"I think Hannah does want to press charges, but she can't because she was the only actual witness to what happened to Jess, and Jess believes Justin."

"What does this have to do with me?" asked Alex.

"You're probably the closest person to Jess after Justin and Hannah," explained Clay. "If you can somehow get closer to her, maybe she'll believe us."

"How the fuck do I do that?"

"I don't know! You're asking Mr Antisocial over here," snapped Clay.

"Why don't you just try to be her friend?" suggested Zach. The other boys looked at him. "I don't know, be there for her, help her? You used to date her, so you probably know her better than anyone else."

"He's got a point," said Clay.

Alex huffed angrily, but agreed in the end.

"Great, this was a productive conversation," said Clay when the bell rang for class.

"Wait, Jensen!" said Zach. Clay looked at Zach curiously. "We were wondering if it was alright if we could visit Hannah sometime this week?"

Clay shrugged. "It should be alright. I'm heading there after school today, did you guys want to come?" he said.

"Can't, got basketball practice," said Zach.

"I've got Jazz band practice too," said Alex.

"What about tomorrow?" suggested Clay.

The other two boys looked at each other for a moment before they nodded in agreement.

"Great, I'll see you guys later then," said Clay before heading off to class.

He spotted Tony and quickly walked over to his friend, then explained his plan.

"Well, I'm not gonna lie, it sounds okay," said Tony thoughtfully.

"Just okay?" said Clay.

"Well, in the end, it's Hannah's decision, isn't it?"

"Yeah but-"

"But nothing," interrupted Tony, giving Clay a stern look. "I'm glad that you and the others are trying to look out for her, but you need to be careful, 'cause you might make some pretty difficult enemies."

"I'm pretty sure we've already made enemies," grumbled Clay.

"Not all your enemies are as rich as Bryce Walker," reminded Tony.

"Well, I guess it's a good thing my mom's a lawyer then," joked Clay, making the shorter boy grin.

"Can't argue with that," laughed Tony, clapping Clay on the shoulder. Clay was suddenly reminded of a question he had been meaning to ask.

"Hey, have you been visiting Hannah?" he asked.

"Only once so far," said Tony. "It was just after you left yesterday actually."

"Oh," said Clay.

"She seems to be doing well. She was in a pretty good mood when I saw her at least."

"Yeah?"

Yeah. And I think _you_ had something to do with it," said Tony, giving Clay that look that said Tony knew more than he let on.

Clay merely rolled his eyes and bid Tony farewell, then headed off to class for real. Maybe things were looking up for everyone, despite the challenges they would face in the future.

 _A/N- Next chapter, Clay confronts Sheri!_


	6. Chapter 6- Sheri's Secret

_A/N- So sorry for the delay! But here's the next chapter!_

 **Chapter 6**

"SONNOVA-" _CRASH!_ Clay flipped over the handlebars of his bicycle head-first and smacked into the pavement. His forehead collided hard into the concrete with a loud _crack!_ and Clay groaned as he rolled over onto his back. He sat up slowly, and reached up with his hand to touch where he had hit the ground. His hand felt hot, wet and sticky when it made contact with his forehead, and Clay groaned again.

He stood up slowly, struggling to fight off the wave of dizziness that almost overcame him, and reached out with his other hand to rest on a nearby tree trunk. "Fuck," he groaned when blood dripped down into his left eye. "Just my fucking luck." He glanced over at his bike, while looking for the source of his misfortune at the same time. There was a small bump in the pavement, and Clay had somehow smacked into it of all places.

Clay picked his bike up off the ground and walked the rest of the way home, constantly wiping his forehead to keep the blood from going into his eye again. He avoided his mother, who was sitting in the lounge along with his dad, both reading something that Clay didn't bother to look at. He quickly bolted up the stairs and locked himself in the bathroom and walked over to the mirror.

His face was almost completely covered in blood, which had been smeared from his hand. His forehead had been sliced open, an ugly red line that curved slightly. Already he could see the signs of bruising forming around the wound, the skin beginning to purple. He had to wipe the blood off his face quickly. So he grabbed a face cloth and rinsed it in hot water, then began roughly scrubbing the drying blood off his face, leaving the blood around the wound for last.

When he had cleaned the rest of the blood of his face off, Clay sighed at the last bit. He had to be delicate, in case he caused more pain than necessary. He rinsed the cloth out again, took a deep breath, and lightly brushed the cloth over the wound.

"HOLY FUCK!" bellowed Clay. The wound flared up with a pain comparable to getting stung by a swarm of wasps. His eyes watered and he swore again, clutching the cloth tightly. Somebody banged on the bathroom door.

"Clay? Are you alright?" It was his mom.

"I'm fine Mom, just cleaning a cut to my face!" hissed Clay.

"What happened to your face?" she called back.

"I fell off my bike and hit the pavement."

"How'd you do that?" asked the voice of his dad.

"I don't know. There was a bump in the road that I didn't see!" snapped Clay, then he lightly dabbed at the wound again. "HOLY MOTHER FUCKERING SON OF MEGATRON!"

"Language!" scolded his mother from behind the door.

"What? I said Megatron!" retorted Clay, wincing again as he continued cleaning the blood surrounding the cut.

"Great, our son's a sassy pants," commented Dad with a hint of amusement in his voice. Clay didn't hear his mom's response, because he swore again when he pressed to hard on the cut, but he was glad that the last of the blood had been removed from his face, though more was beginning to trickle down again.

Clay opened the bathroom cupboards and grabbed a box of bandaids. He pulled one out and carefully stuck it over the cut, wincing slightly. He rinsed out the cloth before tossing it into the dirty laundry basket that sat in the corner and opened the door to see his parents staring at him. His mother was glaring at Clay, though there was concern in her eyes while his father looked like he was trying to stifle a laugh.

"All better," said Clay with an awkward grin. It faltered when his mother's eyes narrowed, her gaze zeroing in on the bandaid like she had x-ray vision and was looking at the cut itself.

"Did you really fall off your bike?" she asked.

"Mom, I swear I just fell off my bike," said Clay almost pleadingly.

Behind Mom, Dad snorted.

"It's true!" said Clay indignantly.

"Ok ok, but you're wearing a helmet from now on!" said Mom before she turned around and went back downstairs.

Clay glared at his dad, who was still suppressing his laughter. "What?" he growled.

His dad finally burst into laughter, the sound a booming noise that echoed through the house. "I'm sorry, but Megatron? Really?" he laughed, wiping tears from his eyes.

"Glad to see you enjoy my choice of vocabulary," Clay deadpanned before going to his room, leaving his father to chuckle in the hall by himself.

Clay had just opened up his notebook when his phone buzzed in his pocket. He pulled it out, expecting it to be a message from either Tony, Zach or Alex. It wasn't any of them.

It was Sheri.

 _We need to talk._

"Shit," muttered Clay.

 _When?_

 _Tomorrow before school?_

Clay hesitated. Was it really wise to have a (no doubt) heavy discussion before school?

 _Sure._ Groaning, he tossed his phone onto the desk and put his hands over his face.

oOoOoOo

Clay ignored the curious looks people gave him when he walked through the school halls to his locker. He glanced over at Hannah's locker, which had become something of a habit even before she ended up in the hospital, then opened his locker to grab the books needed for the day.

He heard her before he saw her. Her footsteps were hard on the ground, and her breathing was shallow, no doubt from the nerves. Sighing, Clay closed his locker to meet the dark brown eyes of Sheri. She looked nervous, but she still smiled warmly at Clay. He didn't give her any response, instead he chose to stare at her with no visible emotion on his face.

Sheri's eyes darted up to the bandaid covering half of his forehead and she opened her mouth to say something, but Clay stopped her.

"Accident. Nothing too major. Let's just get this over with," he said bluntly.

Sheri looked offended at Clay's curt greeting, but she schooled her features and walked away from him. Clay followed her, and Sheri led him outside to the school field, then sat down on the bleachers. She patted the seat next to her, and Clay sat down slowly, never taking his eyes off the dark-skinned girl.

"First off, I just want to say sorry for what happened to Hannah," started Sheri.

"Maybe you should tell that to her yourself," grunted Clay as he looked over the field. He saw the baseball team practicing on the other side of the field, and the track and field team running along the race tracks. He spotted Justin giving them a curious glance, while Zach stood behind him, giving Clay a concerned look.

"I'm trying to make things work Clay," said Sheri in an exasperated voice. "I didn't know that Jeff was going to die that night."

"He wouldn't have if you just did what you were supposed to and call the cops!" growled Clay.

"I had to-" began Sheri.

"Oh don't give me that 'I had a curfew' crap! Hannah tried to do the right thing and you just left her!"

Sheri's eyes took on a hard look and she stood up. "Follow me," she hissed.

Clay stood up and followed Sheri, where she led him to the car park and her car. She got into the driver's side, while Clay climbed into the passenger seat. Sheri started the car and they drove off, away from the school. They travelled through the town and into the nicer part of the suburbs.

"Where are we going?" asked Clay.

"Just wait and see," was all Sheri said.

Nothing more was said until Sheri parked the car outside a lovely, two-storey house. They both got out of the car and Clay followed Sheri up the steps to the front door. Sheri knocked on the door three times and the two teenagers waited for a few moments before the door opened, revealing and elderly lady who smiled brightly at the sight of them.

"Sheri! What a surprise to see you!" said the old lady happily. She then seemed to notice Clay. "Who's your friend?"

"Mrs Cantrell, this is my friend Clay. Clay this is Mrs Cantrell," said Sheri politely.

Clay shook Mrs Cantrell's hand, feeling enormously confused about the whole situation. Why would Sheri take him to see an old lady?

Mrs Cantrell gestured for the two teens to enter, and Clay wasn't exactly surprised by how comfy everything looked. It seemed just like the kind of house an elderly lady would live in, though it seemed a little large for one woman, and it didn't stink of cabbages or something else of the sort.

"Dear, who is it?" said an old male voice from upstairs.

 _So she doesn't live alone,_ mused Clay.

"It's Sheri honey, and she's brought a friend!" called out Mrs Cantrell.

Coming down the stairs was an old man, who was supporting himself on a pair of crutches, as one of his legs was covered in a cast. Clay's heart stopped when he recognised the man. Clay gave Sheri a look, but she ignored him, instead she went up the stairs and met Mr Cantrell halfway. She helped him down the rest of the way, amidst the quiet thank you's from Mr Cantrell.

The foursome walked into the sitting room and sat down. Clay helped Mr Cantrell into an armchair, though didn't look him in the eyes. How could he? The only survivor of the crash that killed-

"Would you like some tea dear?" asked Mrs Cantrell, breaking Clay from his thoughts.

"Oh uh, sure," said Clay as he sat down next to Sheri on the couch. Mrs Cantrell smiled at him before leaving the sitting room.

"So how do you know Sheri Clay?" asked Mr Cantrell.

"We know each other at school," said Clay. Beside him, Sheri stiffened slightly, noticing the fact the Clay hadn't used the term 'friend' like he used to. "How do you know Sheri?" he asked, out of politeness despite already knowing the answer.

"Oh, she came around to help out one day when she saw me. You see, I had been in a car crash just almost two months ago and she's been helping out around the home ever since until I'm all better," said Mr Cantrell, his eyes sparkling with grandfatherly affection for the dark girl.

"Oh," said Clay, glancing at Sheri. She had this happy look in her eyes, and it made Clay wonder just what was going on with the girl.

They didn't stay around too much longer after that, just long enough for Clay to finish the cup of tea he had been offered. He said farewell to them and he and Sheri left, heading back to the school. Something was off with the whole thing.

"Why are you helping them?" asked Clay when Sheri pulled car into an empty park in the school car park.

"Why not?" Sheri retorted. "It's my way of making up for my mistake. And before you ask, I've been doing it since before I even heard the tapes," she added when Clay opened his mouth.

Clay's mouth snapped closed at the revelation. So Sheri wasn't as bad as he thought. Of course, he had always admired Sheri throughout all the years he had known her. She had always seemed like such a genuinely nice girl. That was until he listened to the tapes and Clay had assumed she was no better than the rest of them. But Clay was glad that his fears were for nothing. Sheri was still a good person, but she had only made a bad mistake. However, that wasn't the source of Clay's suspicions.

"Do they know that Jeff died?" he demanded quietly.

Sheri didn't say anything for a few minutes. Clay adjusted himself in his seat so that he didn't have to turn his head to look at her.

"Sheri?"

"I was going to tell them," said Sheri, her voice cracking. "But I couldn't do it. They were worried for Jeff, but they didn't know who he was or where he lived. I didn't want to hurt them."

"Sheri," said Clay. "You're hurting them by not telling them the truth about what happened to Jeff. I could see that they both wanted to hear something, _anything,_ about him."

"I-I know but..." Sheri choked off and dissolved into tears.

Clay seemed unable to move to comfort the girl. It was almost as if the only person he was capable of comforting was Hannah, and that was only after she almost died. So Clay placed a hand on Sheri's back and rubbed it gently.

Sheri's crying eased off after several minutes and she sat up straighter in her seat. She looked over at Clay with a helpless look on her face. "What do I do?" she cried.

"I think you should tell Mr and Mrs Cantrell the truth about Jeff," said Clay slowly. "It will give both them and you a peace of mind I think. Then you should report what happened to the cops. They think Jeff died because he was drunk driving."

"But they might arrest me!" said Sheri.

"They won't arrest a girl because she made a mistake," said Clay. "And Jeff's memory doesn't deserve to be tainted by a lie."

Sheri sniffed and smiled sadly at Clay. "You think?" she asked.

"Yeah," said Clay.

"Thanks Clay," she said and hopped out of the car. Clay followed her lead and together they walked back to into the school grounds. "For what it's worth, I think I agree wit you about helping Hannah."

For the first time that day, Clay smiled.

oOoOoOo

Clay knew something was wrong when Clay walked into Hannah's room. She was sitting in one of the armchairs instead of her bed, a magazine sitting abandoned across her lap. She looked more lifeless than the day before, her eyes taking that faraway look that Clay had come to realise was when she was remembering horrible things.

"Hannah?" he said carefully.

Hannah didn't even acknowledge him until he placed a hand on her arm, and she flinched violently away from Clay.

"Hey, hey. It's me, Clay," said Clay in a soft voice. Hannah relaxed when she realised it was only him and gave him a half-hearted smile.

"Are you okay?" he asked.

"I'm fine," said Hannah, though Clay didn't believe her for a second.

"You don't have to hold it in you know," said Clay.

"I know. But I'm just not ready to tell you yet," replied Hannah, looking slightly more withdrawn.

"Okay. But when you're ready, I'm here for you."

Hannah didn't reply to that and instead tried to change the subject. "How was school?" she asked.

"Oh you know, same old same old," said Clay nonchalantly. "I talked to Sheri today," he added.

Hannah instantly perked up, but her face looked suspicious. "What did she say?"

"She wants to help out," answered Clay.

Hannah raised an eyebrow. "Really? Why?" she said disbelievingly.

"I used my charm of course," joked Clay, and Hannah smiled. "Seriously though, I just talked to her about some things, and she decided to take our side I guess."

"Our side?"

Clay shrugged. "You know. You, me, Tony, Zach, Alex and now Sheri against everyone else."

"What are we? The Justice League?" laughed Hannah.

"Sure. I'm Batman," said Clay.

"No way, you're Superman," replied Hannah.

Clay pretended to look affronted. "Superman? No way Batman's way cooler!"

"You're my Superman," whispered Hannah, her face turning sad.

Clay swallowed thickly, his heart beginning to race after hearing Hannah's confession. Before he could ask her about it though, somebody knocked on the door. It opened and the shy faces of Alex and Zach peered in. Clay glanced over at Hannah and it was like her face had lit up the whole room.

"Er, hi," said Alex, walking in with Zach following closely behind.

"Hi guys," said Hannah.

Nothing was said for a few moments, and Clay was beginning to feel nervous.

"Listen we just want to say how sorry we are for everything," said Zach.

"We really fucked up big time," said Alex.

"Guys, it's okay. Clay already told me," said Hannah reassuringly.

Zach and Alex looked over at Clay and he felt his cheeks getting warmer.

"So... we're cool?" asked Zach.

Hannah's smile could have blinded Clay for all he knew. "Of course we are, somebody's gotta take care of Helmet when I'm not around," laughed Hannah, and just like that, the tension had left the room, replaced by an atmosphere of fun.

The four friends spent the rest of their time together joking around and laughing about anything and everything. Clay had never seen Hannah this happy in what felt like a million years. Had he known that she would be this happy surrounded by other people who cared about her besides himself and her parents, he would have brought Zach and Alex along sooner.

"Hey, what happened to your head?" said Zach suddenly, breaking a brief moment of quiet.

"I fell off my bike last night," said Clay, flushing slightly. Zach laughed, Alex grinned and Hannah giggled.

"How'd you do that?" asked Hannah, trying to stifle her giggles.

"I wasn't paying attention," said Clay.

"Were you wearing your helmet, Helmet?"

"No."

Hannah couldn't hold it in any longer, and she burst into a loud fit of laughter, Zach and Alex joining her.

"I could have split my head open you know," huffed Clay indignantly.

"Looks like you already did," said Alex dryly.

Clay couldn't help but join in with the laughter after that, and the four kept laughing and joking for what felt like a long time after that.

Eventually, it was time to go. Zach offered Clay a ride home, which he accepted. Zach and Alex waved their goodbyes to Hannah and left the room, leaving Clay and Hannah alone for a few moments.

"I'm sorry I have to go," said Clay.

Hannah waved his apology off. "It's okay. It's not like you can actually stay here overnight," she said. "Though you did try your best," she added, pointing to the bandaid on Clay's head.

"Ha ha," said Clay dryly. "I'll come around tomorrow," he promised.

"No you won't," said Hannah.

"What?"

"I'm getting out tomorrow afternoon, and I'll be back at school next week."

Clay couldn't say anything for a few moments, before he let out a loud shout of joy and crushed Hannah with a hug. "That's awesome! I'll come by anyway to see you out," he said, and without even thinking, he kissed Hannah on the cheek and said goodbye, closing the door behind him.

Hannah sat there stunned, before her hand reached up and lightly touched the area where Clay had kissed her on the cheek. A wistful smile crossed Hannah's face, and she was more keen than ever to get out of the hospital.

 _A/N- Just a bit of fluff and happiness, because just about everyone on the show deserves some happiness (except for Bryce, Justin, Courtney and Marcus. They can go fuck themselves)._

 _Somebody suggested a Clay/Hannah/Sheri love triangle and with all due respect, I laughed. I don't mind Sheri as a character, but in this story Clay's heart will always belong to Hannah. It is a Clannah story after all._

 _I have also written up a rough draft of the plot of the story, and let's just say that shit will go down in the last few chapters. I'm not sure how many chapters this story will have but expect some serious stuff to happen that you may or may not like. Sadness will ensure but there will be a happy ending, That's all I'm saying for now. The rest, you have to either figure it out for yourself or keep reading along! Anyways ADIOS AMIGOS/AMIGAS!_


	7. Chapter 7- Shell Shocked

_A/N- This chapter is when things start to get a little... angsty and dramatic, but there's a bit of fluff in there as well. Also we'll be seeing Hannah's perspective in the second half of this chapter, and hopefully I do justice to her character and thoughts._

 **Chapter 7**

Clay was practically bouncing on the heels of his feet as he stood outside the hospital doors. He had hardly slept the night before after finding out that Hannah was getting out of the hospital the next day, but he didn't tell Zach when he asked Clay why he was so excited. Clay didn't want anybody to know that Hannah was out of the hospital just yet and accidentally kick-start the rumour mill again.

Though nobody knew the true reason why she was in there in the first place, people had been talking. Some stories were a little to close to the truth for Clay's liking. Hannah had seriously injured herself on accident at home, she was attacked in a failed burglary, one person even got it right, but it was dispelled amidst the more outrageous rumours. Clay's personal favourite was the one where he and Tony saved Hannah from a government assassin.

The tinted doors opened, breaking Clay from his reverie, and out stepped Hannah, her parents standing on either side of her like two bodyguards. Hannah's face broke into an angelic smile, and Clay noticed the sparkle in her eyes that had been vacant for so long.

Hannah took a deep breath and closed her eyes, breathing in the slightly stale air of the town of Crestmont. "It feels good to breathe fresh air again," she commented wistfully.

"You and I have very different definitions on 'fresh air,'" remarked Clay.

Hannah opened her eyes and scowled at Clay, though the effect was ruined by the smile she was trying to fight off. She gave in however, and launched herself at Clay, wrapping her arms tightly around his shoulders. Clay stumbled backwards in surprise and the force of Hannah's hug, but he eagerly returned the gesture. They both broke apart however, when Mr Baker coughed and the two teenagers pulled apart, both blushing furiously.

All four hopped into the Baker's vehicle, with Mr and Mrs Baker in the front and Hannah and Clay in the back. Clay noticed Hannah's hand resting in the seat between them, and he was tempted to hold it in his. But he thought better of it, thinking that Hannah probably wouldn't want to. Then again, he remembered his promise to himself to not hold back, so he reached over and grabbed her soft, smaller hand in his own, entwining their fingers together.

Though she didn't look down in surprise or anger at Clay's move, a ghost of a smile formed on Hannah's lips, and Clay knew he had done the right thing.

Nothing was spoken on the way to the Baker's residence, though Clay noted that Mrs Baker kept glancing back at the two teens, or rather, more specifically where they had linked hands together. Clay also saw her giving Hannah knowing looks and the blush that crept on the girl's face whenever her mother did so. Clay found it both amusing and embarrassing because let's face it, Clay and Hannah weren't hiding anything that her parents didn't already know.

After what felt like an eternity, Mr Baker pulled the car up into the Baker's driveway, and a red-faced Clay and Hannah stepped out, no longer holding hands, but sending each other secretive looks. Before they stepped inside the house though, Clay froze.

The last time he had been here he was soaked in water and blood and carrying a half-dead Hannah in his arms with the front door knocked off its hinges. The door had been fixed back into its frame, but Clay could see where the paint had chipped from the force of Tony's kick.

Hannah gave him an odd look, and he shook his head slightly to clear his thoughts. He definitely did _not_ want to be thinking of that right now, he was supposed to be helping Hannah feel at home. Though if he were being honest, Clay had no idea how he could do such a thing seeing as it wasn't even his own home, but Mrs Baker had insisted he be there for Hannah to help her settle in.

"Come up with me," said Hannah, grabbing Clay's hand and pulling him along with her to her bedroom.

 _This is not how I wanted expected coming into her bedroom for the first time would be like,_ Clay thought glumly. Hannah's bedroom was a cozy room, about the same size as his own but less cluttered. The blinds were open and a window had been opened as well, allowing a light breeze to drift through her room. Clay also noticed that Hannah's room was impeccably tidy.

"Your room's a lot cleaner than mine," said Clay offhandedly.

"I cleaned it myself before I... you know. To make it easier for Mom and Dad," said Hannah quietly, her expression darkening.

"Shit sorry I..." stammered Clay. _Nice one asshole._

"It's fine, really," soothed Hannah before she sat down on her bed.

Clay nodded his head and wandered around the room looking at all the little trinkets and knick knacks in her room. On her desk were some school textbooks and drawings, along with half-finished poems. Clay picked up one drawing and his eyes widened in surprise. It was one of the bunnies he had drawn Hannah so many months ago. He put it down and looked to the wall opposite the desk, studying the posters on the wall.

There were several posters and photos or various sizes. There was a photo of Hannah, Clay and Kat at her party where Clay had first really gotten to know Hannah and he smiled at the memory. There were other photos of Hannah with other people including Jessica, Alex, Sheri and even more of Clay. The largest poster was one of Lady Gaga, which made Clay chuckle.

"What?" asked Hannah.

"You're a fan of Lady Gaga?" asked Clay.

"Fuck yes! I love her!" said Hannah, then her eyes narrowed. "Do you not like her or something?" she said suspiciously.

Clay shrugged. "I don't mind her, but I'm more of an indie alternative rock guy," he answered.

"Like who?"

"Oh you know. Kaleo, Lord Huron, Amber Run. That sort of thing."

Hannah chuckled quietly. "I only know one of those bands you listed," she said.

"Which one?"

"Lord Huron. He was the one who sung the song we danced to at the Winter Formal."

Clay's heart started racing. She remembered that? Of course she did, she mentioned it in the bloody tapes!

"It's a good song," said Clay easily, though he felt anything but easy.

"One of my favourites," agreed Hannah.

"You should check out Kaleo as well, they're one of my favourite bands at the moment," said Clay.

Hannah smiled. "I'll be sure to," she promised.

Clay smiled back and turned his attention to the photos again, scanning them like a detective would looking at evidence. One thing was consistent through all the photos, and that was the spark in Hannah's eyes that had long since dimmed to almost nothingness. Sure, that spark would come back every now and again these days, but here, captured in these photos, Clay could see how alive Hannah was before everything went to the shit hole.

Clay's eyes stopped when they rested on one photo pinned smack bang in the middle of all the others. It was of him and Hannah at the Winter Formal last year, dancing together. They were smiling from ear to ear, their eyes focussed on each other. Clay hadn't noticed it, but frozen right there in the photograph, it was obvious how much they truly cared for each other. It sent a pang of guilt through Clay's heart, reminding him of how blind and stupid he was.

"That's my favourite photo," said Hannah from beside Clay, making him jump in fright. Hannah laughed loudly as Clay tried to compose himself.

"Geez woman, you almost gave me a heart attack!" he scolded, to which Hannah only laughed more. Clay glared at her, though it was only half-hearted and he too started laughing. Clay looked down at his watch then to check the time.

"Shit. I have to get going. I promised mom to be home soon to help her with some stuff," said Clay grumpily.

"Okay," said Hannah. "I'll see you later?"

"Definitely. While I'm gone look up that band I told you about," said Clay as they left Hannah's room. She escorted Clay out the front door, and just before he stepped off the front porch, Hannah suddenly pulled him into a tight hug around his waist. Clay relaxed into the hug and he wrapped his arms around her shoulders, and he couldn't help but think about how right it felt, to hold her this close to him and he didn't want to let go.

They eventually let go of each other and Clay stepped off the porch, sparing Hannah one last look behind his shoulder before he continued on back home. He looked back again before he rounded a corner and saw Hannah still standing on the porch, looking at him.

oOoOoOo

"I've missed your cooking Mom," said Hannah earnestly. Her mother gave her a warm look.

"Why thank you honey," said Mrs Baker.

"Mmm, this really is amazing," agreed Mr Baker, wiping his face with a napkin and sighing in content.

It was the Bakers first dinner as a whole family for the first time in nearly three weeks, and Hannah had never felt happier. Actually that was a lie, as she could think of several moments where she was happier, and most of them had to do with a certain teenage boy with a nasty case of helmet hair. It made Hannah feel guilty though for trying to kill herself, thinking of how it would have destroyed her parents. Once again she thanked her two saviours saving her life.

Hannah's phone buzzed in her pocket, and she pulled it out to see a message from Clay, automatically making her face break out into a smile.

 _Hey, you doing anything tomorrow?_

 _Not that I know of. Are you suggesting something?_

 _Of course, milady. Zach and Alex are coming over tomorrow to my place to hang out. Did you want to come?_

Hannah frowned slightly. Did she want to spend the day at the boy who she was definitely was in love with's house? Sure, Zach and Alex would be there as well, but it was still _Clay "Helmet" Jensen's house._

 _Is Tony not coming as well?_

 _He's working tomorrow._

Hannah looked up at her parents, who seemed to be pointedly ignoring her while sending each other knowing looks.

 _Your mom said I had to invite you over as well, just so you know._

Hannah's head snapped up and she glared at her mother. "Mom!" she yelled.

To Hannah's annoyance, Mrs Baker looked at her with false innocence. "Yes Hannah?" she asked innocently.

"Did you seriously tell Clay to make me hang out with him tomorrow?!" she shrieked.

"It would be good for you!" defended Mrs Baker. "Besides, we all know how you feel about that boy, you might as well spend more time with him. You only ever really smile around him as well."

"Your mother has a point," said Mr Baker.

Hannah's eyes narrowed at her father. "Aren't you supposed to be chasing boys away? Not encouraging them to hang out with me? Like isn't that the whole point of being a father?" she snapped.

"It is. But we also know when our daughter has met a good guy, and Clay is a _really_ good guy," replied Mr Baker calmly.

"Oh God, my parents are playing matchmaker," groaned Hannah.

"Although Tony seems like a nice boy as well," added Mr Baker.

"Honey, Tony's gay," said Mrs Baker.

Both Hannah and Mr Baker's faces contorted into looks of confusion. "What?" they both said at the same time.

"Well isn't it obvious?" said Mrs Baker, shrugging slightly. "Leather jacket, slicked-back hair, nice muscle car. He's clearly a James Dean fan."

"Or he just really likes Grease," argued Hannah.

"That doesn't really help your case Hannah."

"Oh whatever!"

"So you're saying that Clay isn't your type?" asked Mr Baker.

"I never said that!" hissed Hannah, feeling her face begin to burn up. She roughly wiped her face with a napkin and tossed it onto the table. "I'm going to have a shower. And we are _not_ having this conversation again."

Hannah stood up from her chair and left the dining room before going down the hall to her bedroom, where she would grab a towel and possibly a spare change of clothes.

"You're allowed to go over to Clay's house tomorrow, just so you know!" called out Mrs Baker, making Hannah groan in exasperation.

She didn't go to the bathroom straightaway though, instead going into her room, where she carelessly jumped onto her bed and buried her face into her pillows.

"Parents," she grumbled, though the sound was muffled by her pillows. She rolled over so that she was laying on her back and grabbed her phone again and saw another message from Clay.

 _You don't have to come over if you don't want to._

Hannah sighed. Clay was a sweetheart, really, but he should have known by now how much she needed him to keep her insanity in check.

 _No, I want to come over. I'll see you tomorrow Helmet._

 _See ya here._

Hannah placed her phone on the bedside table before she sat up. She carefully rolled up her sleeves of her shirt to reveal her marred skin of her wrists and forearms. Her flesh was no longer held together by stitches, but the ugly pink lines would stay with her for the rest of her life. She hadn't even shown Clay the scars yet, and she didn't plan on it either. What would he think of them? He'd probably be disgusted, or he would be reminded of the horrible things Hannah had put him through.

Hannah rolled down her sleeves to cover up the scars, and resigned herself to the fact that she would probably have to wear long-sleeved shirts for the rest of her life, if only to stop the whispering of her peers and strangers.

Sighing, Hannah reminded herself of her promise to Clay to look up that band he loved so much. What was its name again? Kaleo. She grabbed her phone again, along with some headphones, plugged them in and opened her music app.

Hannah had to admit, Clay had good taste in music. In fact, she thought he had _excellent_ taste in music and loved this band, having already saved their entire album onto her playlist. She would thank Clay for introducing her to the world of alternative rock music tomorrow.

 _Ugh!_ Why did Clay have to invite Zach and Alex along! Sure, she had forgiven them for what they did to her and had become much closer, she just wished that she could spend the day with just Clay. Nobody else but the two of them. The prospect of it both excited and frightened her.

Shaking her head, Hannah took the earphones out of her ears, grabbed a towel and a fresh set of clothes and headed upstairs into the bathroom. She closed the door and dumped her spare clothes and towel on the floor but stopped when she saw the bathtub.

It was just sitting there, all clean and innocent, like Hannah hadn't just tried to die inside it. There was no evidence remaining, no water, sloshing out of the tub and onto the floor, flooding the bathroom floor as it became redder and redder thanks to the blood that had been seeping from her cuts.

The cuts on her wrists themselves tingled as she remembered the razor blade piercing her soft flesh like a hot knife through butter, as she screamed in agony but pressed forward to complete the task she had been so set on doing, if only to end her suffering. It was ironic really, to suffer in order to avoid suffering.

Her body couldn't... _wouldn't_ move as she remembered the screams of Clay as he pleaded for her to be okay, to not be dead. It was those screams from Clay that plagued her nightmares every night, that would wake her up screaming and sweating. It was those screams from the boy she loved that made Hannah most regret what she almost did.

"Hannah? Are you okay?" it was her mother. She tried to reply, but she said something else entirely.

"I can't," she said.

"Can't what?"

"I can't."

"Hannah? What can't you do?" Mrs Baker's voice was sounding more scared. Mrs Baker opened the door, which Hannah had forgotten to lock.

"I can't. I won't," whispered Hannah, terror seeping into her voice.

"What won't you do?" asked Mrs Baker.

"This bathroom. I can't be here. I don't want to be here!" pleaded Hannah. The bathtub was mocking her, she could feel it, tormenting her for the job she couldn't accomplish.

"Hannah, there's nothing to be afraid-" began Mrs Baker.

"No! No no no non NO!" screamed Hannah. She crouched down to the tiled floor and put her hands over her ears, sobbing loudly. The voices in her head, they were getting louder, mocking her for not dying, accusing her of almost leaving her family and friends behind. For almost leaving _Clay_ behind.

"Hannah sweetie, it's okay," said her mother soothingly, trying to calm Hannah down as she sobbed.

"I want to go to Clay's," Hannah said suddenly. "I can't use this bathroom anymore."

"Hannah, it's getting late," said Mrs Baker.

"I don't care. I need to see Clay," Hannah said forcefully. "He's the only one who can help me."

Mrs Baker gave Hannah a pitiful look, but nodded her head. "Okay. Get in the car and I can take you to Clay's," she said.

Hannah dumbly nodded her head and she stood back up on quivering legs. She was shaking all over, and she was worried that she might topple over if she kept shaking. Hannah cursed herself for being so weak and dependent on Clay, but he truly was the only person who could help her.


	8. Chapter 8- Borrow His Shower

_A/N- Whoa. I'm simply blown away by the responses this story has received. OVER 100 REVIEWS! I know I've said it before but thank you all so much for the ongoing support guys! Oh and also, you might have guessed but Kaleo is my favourite band. If you haven't heard of them and like rock music, or simply music that really pierces the soul i definitely recommend checking them out._

 **Chapter 8**

Hannah didn't remember the trip to the Jensen's until she was knocking on their front door. It was dark outside, going on ten o'clock. She wouldn't be surprised if Clay and his family were all asleep, but Hannah had to take that chance.

A woman with blonde hair and was rather beautiful answered the door. She was probably in her mid-forties, and had blue eyes the same colour as Clay's that shone with a keen intelligence.

"Can I help you?" said the woman as she looked at Hannah and her mother suspiciously.

"Oh. Uh, hi. My name's Hannah, Hannah Baker," said Hannah.

The woman's face instantly softened and she smiled widely. "Hannah! I had hoped I would meet you. Clay talks about you a lot," she said, shaking Hannah's hand. Hannah was startled by the strong grip Mrs Jensen had, but Hannah chalked that up to her being a lawyer. "I'm his mother, and I'm guessing the woman behind you is yours."

"Yes, this is my mom," said Hannah.

"Hello," said Mrs Baker.

Mrs Jensen smiled warmly. "What can I do for you Hannah?" she asked.

"I uh... well I-" stammered Hannah.

"Mom, who is it?" called out a voice from behind Mrs Jensen that instantly made Hannah feel a lot better.

Clay came up behind Mrs Jensen, and his face instantly brightened at the sight of Hannah, though he looked confused as well.

"Hannah? What are you doing here?" he asked.

"I needed to see you," said Hannah.

Mrs Jensen raised an eyebrow while Clay looked at her with a dumbfounded expression. Luckily, Mrs Baker cleared her throat.

"Mrs Jensen, perhaps I should explain everything to you while Clay and Hannah talk?" she suggested.

Mrs Jensen's looked confused, here gaze switching from Hannah to Mrs Baker, and she stepped aside, allowing Hannah and Mrs Baker into her home. Hannah felt rather intimidated by the woman, but at the same time mrs Jensen seemed to give off a caring air that was so reminiscent of Clay. Clay took Hannah's hand and led her upstairs while Mrs Jensen led Hannah's mom into the living room.

Before Clay could take Hannah into his room, Hannah stopped in her tracks.

"What's wrong?" asked Clay.

"I uh... I need to use your shower," mumbled Hannah, her cheeks burning from embarrassment.

"Why do you need to use my shower? Don't you have your own?" said Clay. "Is it not working?"

"No. It's just got a lot of bad memories I can't handle right now," said Hannah.

Clay's expression softened and he nodded his head in understanding. He led her to the bathroom and told her to come into his room, which was just down the hall. She smiled before closing the bathroom door. The bathroom itself was larger than the one at her house, but then again, Clay did live in the nicer part of town.

Hannah turned the shower on and while she waited for the water to warm up, she stripped off her clothes then hopped in. She made sure to make the shower as short as humanely possible for a teenage girl, which in her books equaled to ten minutes, plenty of time to wash her short wavy hair and her body, leaving no time to simply stand in the shower. Once she was done, Hannah turned the shower off and grabbed her towel, drying herself then got changed.

She left the bathroom and searched for Clay's room, which was pretty easy to find what with the poster of Optimus Prime plastered on the door. Hannah walked in nervously and scanned the room. There were certainly more posters and photos on the walls than in Hannah's room, and most of them were of various TV shows, movies, cartoons and video games. There were a few photos of Clay himself plastered between the posters, and the desk was situated where one could see into the street outside from the window. Hannah thought that all the nerdy posters and messy desk littered with books, spare pieces of papers and comics perfectly summed up Clay's personality and life, and she felt oddly at home being in there.

Clay himself was laying in the bed, his eyes closed with his headphones over his ears, listening to music which Hannah could vaguely hear. _Sounds like rock music,_ she thought. He hadn't heard or seen him come in, so Hannah decided to make her presence known. She tip-toed closer to Clay till she was practically hovering over with him, and with a loud "LEROY JENKINS!" she launched herself onto his stomach.

Clay shouted in surprise when Hannah landed on him, and in the confusion the two teenagers ended up tangling together like some freaky monster in a bad science film. Hannah couldn't stop laughing as they righted themselves, while Clay was swearing his head off about teenage girls and lack of personal space.

"What the _hell_ Hannah!" yelled Clay when they had untangled themselves from each other.

"What? I saw an opportunity and seized it," replied Hannah, still grinning widely.

Clay huffed in annoyance, but soon he too was grinning from ear to ear. "Are you ticklish?" he asked suddenly.

Before Hannah had a chance to fully process the question, Clay pounced and tackled her to the bed. He then pinned her to the bed with his knees and his fingers dug into her sides and he tickled her mercilessly. Hannah squirmed and roared with laughter, her arms swinging wildly as she tried to fight him off, but it was to no avail.

Clay eventually gave up and stared at Hannah devilishly, and Hannah saw his eyes sparkling with amusement. His pause however, was enough for Hannah to change the tide of the tickle war and she pushed herself up, throwing Clay down onto the bed. Before he could react, Hannah sat on his stomach, straddling his waist between her legs and her arms shot to his sides.

To Hannah's confusion, Clay did not budge or even smile at her attempts to tickle him. "You're not ticklish?" she asked.

"Nope," said Clay, an arrogant smirk forming on his lips.

"Oh God, of course I get into a tickle fight with a guy who's not even ticklish," groaned Hannah.

Clay laughed again. "I think you can get off me now," he said in amusement.

Hannah pretended to look thoughtful for a moment. "Hmmm, no thanks. I quite like it here," she said seriously.

She felt Clay's body stiffen slightly underneath her, and Hannah felt like she might have said something wrong. Her fears, however, were for naught when Hannah saw Clay's eyes darken as he stared at, no _into_ her. Hannah's breath hitched in her throat as Clay slowly sat up, with Hannah still straddling him, till their faces were so close that Clay's breath tingled against her skin pleasantly.

Slowly, the two closed the gap until their lips met tentatively, as though they were simply testing the waters, which it probably was, Hannah thought. This was nothing like their first kiss at Jessica's party. That one was filled with alcohol-fueled desire which spurred them on to do more than just kissing until Hannah had panicked, while this kiss was softer, more hesitant and yet Hannah thought it was so much better than before.

There was nothing holding them back, no alcohol to cloud their minds and reasoning, yet they chose to hold back, because it was such a tender moment for the both of them.

When Clay pulled back, Hannah felt slightly disappointed that it hadn't deepened, yet at the same time she was content that Clay or herself hadn't pushed it further. Clay had a nervous, questioning look on his face, like he was unsure of if he had crossed some boundary he shouldn't have. It was so like Clay.

"I'm sorry. I shouldn't have..." began Clay.

"Shut up," said Hannah, a little more harshly than intended, but at least it got him to stop himself from saying something stupid. "If you're about to apologize, then i don't want to hear it because I liked it."

"You- wait what?" said Clay.

"I wanted you to do that," reiterated Hannah. "I wanted you to do that, and I liked it."

Clay looked dumbfounded for a moment. "Oh," was all he could say. "Can I kiss you again?"

Hannah laughed. "Of course you can," she said.

Clay didn't hesitate for a moment before he closed the gap again and kiss her, this time much more deeply, and Hannah relished in the feeling. Despite Clay being the one who initiated the kiss, he didn't force himself onto her, pressing her to turn it into something more. He was careful, letting Hannah take control. She ran her tongue along Clay's lips, and he eagerly complied, and soon their tongues were engaged in a dance that felt so right.

Eventually both Hannah and Clay had to come apart for air, both breathing heavily. Clay gave Hannah a goofy smile and she giggled at the sight. They pressed closer together to continue their dance, but a noise from downstairs drew them back into the real world.

Hannah sighed loudly and slid off Clay's waist and stood up, stretching her body out. She took a peek at Clay, and she blushed at the way he was staring at her, like she was the sun and he was a man who had just been cured of blindness. Why the hell was she into guys like Justin and Marcus, when the perfect man had been in front of her the whole time?

"We should probably head downstairs," suggested Clay, drawing Hannah from her thoughts.

She agreed and Clay led the way out of his bedroom and down the stairs, where her mother and Mrs Jensen were talking.

"... Sounds like a case of PTSD," Hannah heard Mrs Jensen say.

"PTSD?" repeated Mrs Baker.

"Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder," clarified Mrs Jensen. "It's what happens when somebody goes through a traumatic experience, and certain sights, sounds or memories can trigger negative emotions. It affects people differently. My grandfather had it after he served in World War Two. He used to panic whenever he heard a loud noise. In your daughter's case, she seems to freeze up and reject even being somewhere that she associates with a bad memory."

"Do you think she'll have another episode if she went back to school?" asked Mrs Baker.

"It's hard to say. But I think as long as she associates herself with people she trusts, she should be fine."

 _PTSD? Was that some kind of mental illness?_ thought Hannah. She looked at Clay, who looked a little pale and a bit shaken by what they had heard, but he offered her a comforting smile anyway before he announced their presence to their mothers.

Not much was said after that and soon Hannah and her mom were on their way back home, with Clay reminding Hannah excitedly to come back tomorrow.

oOoOoOo

Zach Dempsey may not be the most observant guy on the planet, but even he could tell that something had changed between Clay and Hannah. He, Alex and Hannah were hanging out at Clay's for the day, and were currently playing video games, though Hannah had only insisted that she watch.

But there was a thick source of tension in the air that was coming from Clay and Hannah, and it was driving Zach insane. The two kept casting furtive glances at each other, and if one caught the other staring, they would both turn away blushing like tomatoes. Alex too looked like he was getting annoyed and he kept sending Zach pointed looks to do something, but what could Zach do?

When the four went out to grab some lunch at Rosie's diner, the tension followed them. It only escalated further when Hannah saw the booth where Marcus had tried to grope her, so they avoided that part of the diner all together. Hannah and Clay sat opposite each other, with Zach sitting next to Clay and Alex next to Hannah.

Lunch was a fun affair, but still the tension didn't leave. When they returned back to Clay's and then eventually Zach, Alex and Hannah left for the day, Zach turned to Alex.

"You weren't the only one who felt that?" he said.

"I think the whole town could feel it," said Alex in that dry tone he so often used.

"What do you think happened between them?"

"Maybe they finally hooked up but don't want to tell anyone about it yet."

"It'd be about time if they did though," said Zach thoughtfully.

Alex smirked and patted Zach on the shoulder lightly. "That, we can agree on."

 _A/N- So Clay and Hannah finally kissed, but I'm going to let you guess as to why there's that sense of unresolved tension._


	9. Chapter 9- Confessions

_A/N- Apologies for the delay. Real life happened plus I've started working on another story, but now this is here and you can all enjoy!_

 **Chapter 9**

Clay could sense the nervousness emanating from Hannah as he walked her to school. No doubt the whole place was filled with horrible memories, and Clay sincerely hoped that she wouldn't have another episode.

Sometimes he wondered why Hannah didn't just move schools and start over, but then the haunting feeling that he wouldn't see her as often came bidding into his mind. It was selfish of Clay, when he thought about it, but he simply couldn't imagine not seeing Hannah every day.

Clay guided Hannah to her locker, ignoring the curious looks cast their way, whether it was because they'd all heard the rumours or because Clay was standing extremely close to Hannah, his body almost entirely pressed up against hers as he tried to protect her from their obnoxious looking.

When Hannah opened her locker, Clay coughed and spluttered. There was a fine layer of dust that had collected on all her textbooks and notepads, and it had been kicked up and into Clay's face when Hannah opened the locker. Hannah giggled at the sight of Clay's suffering and he scowled at her.

"I think your locker's trying to kill me," coughed out Clay.

"What can I say? You're insufferable," retorted Hannah, a smirk crossing her features.

Clay smiled as well, but he then saw Bryce Walker heading their way. "Let's go to my locker," he said as nonchalantly as possible, hoping his voice didn't falter.

Hannah didn't seem to notice and she eagerly wrapped her hand around Clay's elbow and the two walked together to his locker. Clay glanced behind him and let out a sigh of relief when he saw that Bryce hadn't noticed them. Hannah noticed it and asked him what was wrong.

"Nothing," said Clay easily. He was getting better at lying to people, and he hated it when he had to do it to Hannah. But it was for her own good, Clay told himself. And with that thought, he escorted Hannah to their first class of the day.

Another thing that Clay hated was his confusion as to where he stood with Hannah. After that kiss they shared in his bedroom, some sort of wall built of pure tension had been erected between them. It was obvious, even to Clay, that they had to talk about it, but how do you bring up the subject of a second kiss? " _Oh hey Hannah. Remember when we kissed each other on Saturday in my bedroom after you had that panic attack? Yeah wanna talk about that?"_

Yeah right. Clay would sooner fall off his bike again, and then people would start wondering if his name was actually Harry Potter. Clay decided to figure out when the right time was for him to question his relationship with Hannah later, because he was pretty sure platonic friends didn't walk hand in hand through the school halls, giving each other shy looks and turning away with their faces red when they caught the other looking.

Lucky (or unlucky, depending on who you asked) for them, French was the first class of the day. Clay had managed to talk with all the teachers he shared a class with Hannah to allow him to sit next to her until she had fully settled in, Clay was fairly certain that there was a God after every teacher he asked agreed with him.

While Clay did his best to pay attention to the teacher and took as many notes as possible, he noticed that Hannah constantly zoned out and he had to bring her back to the Land of the Living. She would give him a sheepish grin and turn her attention back to the teacher, but soon she would tune out again and the process would repeat itself.

"Are you okay?" Clay finally whispered when the teacher's attention was diverted to the other side of the classroom.

Hannah popped her head up to look at him. "Yeah I'm fine. Why?" she asked.

"You keep zoning out," said Clay.

"I do?"

Clay frowned. _This is new,_ he thought.

"Yeah. I keep having to bring you back so you don't get in trouble. Are you sure you're okay?" he asked again.

Hannah sighed. "I'm not sure," she admitted sadly. "I don't remember zoning out but you've told me I do. I don't know I think this place is getting to me, that's all."

Clay grabbed Hannah's wrist gently and gave it a light squeeze. "Hannah, if you're having trouble, you need to let me know and I'll try to help in any way I can. That's a promise."

Hannah's blue eyes shone with unshed tears, but before she could say anything, the teacher spoke up.

"Mr Jensen. Is there a reason why you're talking?" she asked.

Clay opened his mouth, but Hannah beat him to the punch.

"Sorry, it's my fault," said Hannah. "Can I please go to the bathroom?"

"Of course Hannah, don't be too long."

Clay didn't miss the fact that the teacher called Hannah by her first name and he by his last. Hannah stood up from her seat and Clay gave her a worried frown, asking silently if she needed him to come with her. Hannah shook her head almost imperceptibly and she walked out of the classroom.

Clay glanced around the room and saw Alex looking at him with an expression that asked Clay what was going on. He shook his head and turned back to his work.

Five minutes, ten minutes, fifteen minutes and still Hannah hadn't returned, and Clay was starting to freak out. He wasn't doing a good job of hiding it though, because the girl sitting opposite him, Kelsey? Clay wasn't sure, but anyway she was giving him annoyed looks. Alex too was looking across the room at Clay with worry. In fact, pretty much everyone except for the teacher kept looking at him, so maybe Clay was doing a horrible job at hiding the impending panic attack.

Where was Hannah? It didn't take that long to go to the bathroom unless you were sitting there looking through memes, and Clay knew that Hannah wasn't the kind of person to do that. Not that he knew that's exactly what she did but Hannah was the sort of girl who didn't fuss around if it wasn't necessary. So why was it taking her so long?

His thoughts were answered when Sheri came barging into the room with a panicked look on her face, and her gaze zeroed in on Clay, and he knew that something was definitely wrong.

"Miss, I need Clay right now," said Sheri breathlessly.

Clay didn't even wait for the teacher's response before he was following Sheri out of the classroom and towards the girls bathroom. When they got there Sheri opened the door for him, and he looked at the dark girl in horror.

"Wait what?" he spluttered.

"She _needs_ you," said Sheri impatiently.

"But it's the _girls_ bathroom," said Clay in terror.

"Clay if you don't get in there right now and help Hannah I'm gonna kick your ass myself," threatened Sheri.

"Touché," said Clay flatly and he walked into the girls bathroom cautiously.

Like the boys bathroom, the walls were completely covered with graffiti. Insults, phone numbers, strange combinations of words Clay was pretty sure didn't even exist littered they grey walls. He found the term 'cum dumpster' particularly creative.

Clay heard sniffling in the farthest cubicle, which was closed. "Hannah?" he called out softly.

Instantly the sniffling stopped, replaced by a loud gasp that echoed through the bathroom. "Clay? What the fuck are you doing here?!" shrieked the voice of Hannah.

"Keeping my promise," said Clay as he pushed open the cubicle door. His heart clenched at the sight of Hannah, her face tear-streaked and eyes red and puffy.

"Jesus Hannah, what happened?" he said, kneeling down to inspect the girl.

"Someone's gonna come in!" hissed Hannah as she tried to push him away.

"Sheri's watching the door," said Clay. "What happened?" he repeated.

"I'm just being stupid," said Hannah, once again sniffling as a tear fell down her face.

"Nothing you do is stupid Han," said Clay softly, wiping the tear away with his thumb. "Now tell me what's wrong."

"I-I was fine when I came into the bathroom until I saw the writing on the wall," she said in a flat tone. "See that phone number there?" she said pointing to the number that was added with 'call for a great time.' "That's mine."

Clay's felt his eye twitch as he felt the urge to tear apart the person who wrote that almost overwhelm him. But he took a deep breath and looked back at Hannah.

"There are other stuff on here that I know is about me," continued Hannah in that same dead tone.

"You don't know that," said Clay.

"But I _do_ ," insisted Hannah.

"Doesn't mean it's true," retorted Clay. "You and I both know that all the shit that people say about you isn't true in the slightest. It's a load of shit started by even shittier people who haven't got anything fucking better to do."

Hannah balked slightly at the fierceness with which Clay spoke, and even he was surprised with himself. But he kept talking. "You are the smartest, funniest and most beautiful girl I've ever had the pleasure of knowing, Hannah Baker. And it kills me to see you so beaten up by all of this.

"If you had died that night," continued Clay, his voice dying down to a whisper, "I probably would have joined you not long after because I simply can't see myself in a world without you in it. You're like the sun to me, my very own air that only I can breathe and without it I'm nothing."

Clay didn't know why he was saying these things, but once he started he couldn't stop and he was in no hurry to stop. He needed to say these things to Hannah.

Hannah herself was looking at Clay as if for the first time, and her eyes were glistening with more tears.

"Why are you telling me this? Why do you care so much that I live?" she asked hesitantly, her voice hoarse from crying.

Clay didn't say anything for a little bit but when he did, he wasn't sure himself if he was the one who said it.

"Because I love you."

Hannah's eyes widened in surprise at his declaration, and Clay could feel her pulse racing underneath where he had grabbed her wrist.

"I love you Hannah," he repeated, "and I will never leave you. Not now. Not ever. I'll always be there for you."

"Clay..." started Hannah, but Clay held his hand up for her to stop.

"Let me finish this, otherwise I might not get another chance. I don't care what all those assholes out there say about you, because I know the _real_ you. The girl who would never intentionally hurt somebody, the girl who always had that spark in her eyes that just draws people to her. I fallen in love with the girl who writes amazing poetry, loves looking at the stars and has a tongue like silver. Ilove how you don't care that I'm terrible with people or that I'm a total nerd.s

"I've loved you for a long time Hannah, and took watching you nearly destroy yourself for me to admit that to you, and I'm sorry for that. If I had told you sooner, maybe you wouldn't have tried to kill yourself. Maybe I could have been that thing that kept you going. I'm sorry for not asking you out all those times I could have. I'm sorry for doing nothing when you needed my help. I'm sorry for lashing out at you when those rumours started."

"Hannah, I love you and I promise from now on I'll do anything for you, even if you don't realise you need it."

Clay watched Hannah for a reaction, anything that could give him a hint as to what was going on in her mind. So focussed he was on her that he wasn't prepared for when Hannah suddenly lurched forward, wrapped her arms around his neck and kissed him full on the mouth. Clay let out a surprised yelp, but soon he was kissing her back.

 _This is what heaven is like,_ thought Clay before all coherent thought left his mind as he lost himself in Hannah's embrace. Eventually they had to come up for air, both teenagers red-faced and breathing heavily.

"Did you mean it?" asked Hannah breathlessly, her eyes boring into his.

"Every word of it," said Clay seriously.

 _Smack!_

"Ow! What the fuck!" yelled Clay, letting go of Hannah's waist and to rub his cheek where Hannah had slapped him. She had a blazing look in her eyes as she glared at him.

"Don't you dare blame yourself for something I did, Clay Jensen," hissed Hannah.

"What-" began Clay.

"What I did was not your fault! I made the decision to off myself, and I can't blame you at all because you _saved_ me. You're still saving me," she interrupted.

"Hannah..."

"I'm fucked up Clay. Everyone knows it. Even you do. But words cannot express how much I appreciate that you're still here for me even after all the shit I've been through. It will take a while for me to get better, but I hope you'll stick with me."

"Always," said Clay.

"Really? Severus Snape?" said Hannah in exasperation.

"Why does everyone think I'm always quoting Harry Potter?" mumbled Clay.

"What was that?"

"Nothing."

"Good." Hannah then brushed past Clay, intertwining her fingers through Clay's as she pulled him out of the cubicle and bathroom. "The bathroom isn't the most romantic place to declare your undying love for someone, you know," she said once they were out of the bathroom. Behind them, Sheri gasped and looked at the other two teens gleefully before she walked in the opposite direction back to her own class.

"Sorry about that," muttered Clay, scratching the back of his head with his free hand.

"Don't be. It was very Helmet of you," assured Hannah, a bright smile on her face. Before they got back to the French classroom, Hannah stopped. She turned around and gave Clay a beautiful smile that made his heart ache. "For what it's worth, I love you too," she said and pecked him on the lips.

Clay's smile didn't leave his face for the rest of the day as they headed inside the classroom.

Down the hall, they didn't see the tall, scrawny boy glaring at the door where the two lovebirds had disappeared behind, the muscles in his jaw twitching, his face burning with hate and anger and his hands clenched into fists. Dangling from his neck, a camera swung as his body shook.

 _A/N- So they've finally come out and said it. HUZZAH! Also, any guesses as to who that mysterious person might be? It's a bit of foreshadowing as to what's to come._

 _Next chapter will definitely be a more lighthearted chapter with lots of fluff and humour. Also, be sure to look out for my new story coming out soon. This story's next chapter will be providing some VERY obvious hints._

 _Also, shoutout to the people who may have lost their chance with the person they love with all their heart. I've been there before and it really fucking sucks, like you've lost a part of your soul and can never get it back because that person took it without even realising it. This chapter was for you guys._


	10. Chapter 10- Lord Commander Helmet

_A/N- Sorry for this chapter. It's nothing more than a filler but I thought you deserved to see Clay and Hannah enjoying a bit of happiness._

 **Chapter 10**

"It's about fucking time."

Clay looked up from his tray of food, gently pushing Hannah, who had been snuggling up to his side, away so he could stretch his back and look at Tony, who was giving the two of them a smug look.

"Huh?" said Clay.

Tony smirked and gestured to Clay and Hannah. "You two. It's all everyone's been talking about for the past week," he said.

Clay ignored the blush that was creeping up his cheeks and settled for rolling his eyes. "Seriously? Don't people have anything better to do than gossip?" he groaned.

"They're teenagers Clay. It's what they do best," said Tony, shrugging slightly as he sat down opposite them.

"We're teenagers too," Hannah pointed out.

"Let me rephrase. They're immature teenagers," said Tony.

"Who's an immature teenager?" asked Zach before he sat down next to Tony, Alex sitting on the other side.

"Apparently people find it hard to believe that Clay and I are dating," drawled Hannah.

"Fuck em," said Alex, and everyone laughed.

Clay noticed the flyer that Zach was reading and asked him about it.

"There's supposed to be a competition on Tuesday next week," said Zach. "Apparently we all have to dress up since it's Halloween and whoever is the best dressed wins."

"Sounds stupid," muttered Tony.

"Dude, who dress up like John Travolta every day. What are you complaining about?" laughed Alex.

"Good point, I'll just win dedication points."

"I reckon it sounds like a good idea," said Hannah. "I wonder who I'd dress up as though."

"I might go as the Flash," said Alex. "You know, blonde hair, good looks, etcetera."

"The Flash has brown hair," corrected Zach.

"Only in that stupid show," said Clay.

"Hey! That's a good show! Have you seen the latest season?" defended Zach.

"The whole lore is wrong. The Flash runs slow as hell and the plot's predictable!"

"Helmet, you're doing it again," said Hannah, grinning at Clay.

"Sorry," mumbled Clay. Hannah only laughed and kissed him on the cheek, which set Clay's heart racing. He still hadn't fully wrapped his head around the fact that he and Hannah were now dating. It was like a dream that Clay sincerely hoped he would never wake up from.

"I reckon you should dress up as Jon Snow," said Hannah all of a sudden.

"You know who Jon Snow is?" said Clay incredulously.

"Everybody knows who Jon Snow is Clay," retorted Hannah.

"No what I meant was, you actually watch Game of Thrones?" elaborated Clay.

Hannah responded with a roll of her eyes and a punch in the arm.

"Wait, why Jon Snow?" asked Zach.

"Oh come on! Don't you see it?" Hannah said in an exasperated tone. "Quiet, brooding, has a tendency to do the honourable thing at the expense of himself?"

"I get the quiet and brooding thing, but the hero complex?" questioned Alex.

"It's a thing only his girlfriend would know," said Hannah slyly.

"I do not brood," sulked Clay.

"Dude, you're doing it right now," pointed out Zach.

Clay huffed and folded his arms across his chest, and everyone laughed at him before they continued with their lunch.

oOoOoOo

"Are we seriously dressing me up like Jon Snow?" whined Clay.

He and Hannah had left school in her car when it finished, and now they were walking through the local costume store. Or rather, Hannah was pulling a reluctant Clay along while he sulked and complained about not wanting to participate in the competition.

"Yes we are Clay. And if I hear one more complaint out of you you're not coming over for dinner tonight. Mom's making butter chicken," threatened Hannah.

Clay quickly shut his mouth to stop the angry retort from coming out. He adored Mrs Baker's butter chicken. It truly was the food of the gods.

"AHA!" proclaimed Hannah loudly, pulling out a long, black cloak with black feathers. It was an almost perfect replica of the character's costume, complete with replica sword. Hannah shoved the costume into Clay's hands and pushed him towards the changing room with a superior look on her face.

Clay grunted in annoyance but obliged her anyway, closing the door behind him. It took Clay several minutes to get the entire costume on, what with all the belt buckles, buttons and the long cloak he kept getting tangled in, but he finally got it on right. He looked in the mirror and Clay had to admit, he looked pretty good, even to himself. He looked like he had walked straight off the set of the TV show, though he possessed a lack of facial hair and long, curly locks.

When he walked out of the changing room still in the costume, Clay instantly saw the barely concealed lust in Hannah's eyes. If it took him wearing a ridiculous costume just to get her to look at him that way, then that's exactly what he would do, Clay thought to himself.

"What do ya think?" asked Clay smugly.

"I think you look fucking _hot,"_ breathed Hannah, her voice coming out in short breaths.

"I feel like a knight wearing this," said Clay, brandishing the toy sword like and actual weapon.

"You mean man of the Night's Watch?" said Hannah.

"Whatever. Anyway, what are you dressing up- oh shit," swore Clay when the sword flew out of his hands and smacked another customer on the back of the head. The lady gave Clay a dirty look as he apologized over and over again when he walked over and picked the sword up, his face turning red with embarrassment.

Behind him, Hannah was laughing uproariously, clutching her stomach as stitches began to cramp.

"Seriously, how can you ride a bike without falling off?" asked Hannah when her laughing had subsided to giggles.

"I don't, remember?" said Clay, pointing to the bandaid that still covered his forehead.

"Oh that's right. We'll just have work on your eye-hand coordination skills then."

"Geez you're a supportive girlfriend," grumbled Clay.

"Sorry babe. But it was funny," said Hannah, still giggling.

"Whatever. Now before I was rudely interrupted by myself, what are you gonna wear?" said Clay dryly.

"I'm not sure," said Hannah. "I was thinking of going as a dinosaur or..." began Hannah.

"Whoa wait up," said Clay, startling Hannah. "We're not doing this together? Surely there's got to be another Game of Thrones costume in here!"

"Do you see any other Night's Watch costumes around here?" argued Hannah.

"Women don't join the Night's Watch," Clay reminded Hannah, "if I'm Jon Snow, you'll have to be Ygritte."

Clay turned away from Hannah and began rummaging through the clothes' racks, his eyes scanning for anything that resembled a suitable costume.

"Here we are," he finally said, pulling out a medieval-styled dress.

"That's not what wildlings wear," said Hannah.

"Couldn't find any," replied Clay. "Besides, you look more like a princess than a savage."

"Hey those savages are badass," said Hannah, a scowl forming on her face.

"Forgive me, milady," said Clay, bowing low to Hannah. She laughed at his antics and gave him a look of adoration, which made Clay's blood go hot with desire. He quickly closed the gap between them and summoning up his courage, he placed a lingering kiss on Hannah's lips.

He tried to pull away, but Hannah grabbed the hairs on the back of his head and pulled him closer, deepening it. Clay's heart felt like it was threatening to burst out of his chest as he placed one hand on the small of Hannah's back, the other reaching up to cup her cheek. They probably would have continued, had they not been startled by the sound of clearing their throat.

"Excuse me Lord Commander, but this is a family store," said the shop assistant grumpily, though there was a hint of mirth in his tone.

"Right. Sorry," stammered Clay, pulling away from Hannah while he felt his face warm. Hannah looked rather smug as she walked into the changing room with the costume Clay had handed her, while Clay went into another room and took off his costume. He left the room then and walked over to the counter and hired out his costume, then went back to where the changing rooms and wait for Hannah.

She came out wearing a stunning pale blue dress that brought out the icy blue of her eyes. The sleeves were short, barely covering her shoulders. The seams of the dress were lined with gold and it hugged her waist, bringing out her natural curves. Her forearms were covered in silvery-plastic braces to cover the scars on her forearms. Where it hugged her waist, the dress fanned out and swayed when Hannah twirled around, Clay was pretty sure he had never seen a lovelier sight in all his life.

"Might want to clean that drool that's coming out of your mouth Helmet," Hannah said dryly, snapping Clay out of his stupor. Clay reached up to wipe away the offending drool, only to find his chin was dry. He gave Hannah a dirty look, which she promptly ignored.

"Well, what do you think?" she asked expectantly.

"I..." was all Clay could say.

Hannah's face fell. "Is it really that bad?" she said, disappointment in her voice.

"No! Wait... you look amazing!" Clay said quickly, hoping that Hannah believed his sincerity. Thankfully, she seemed to believe him and sighed in relief.

"Great, now let me get out of this thing so we can get out of here," she huffed.

"Can I watch?" joked Clay.

Hannah seemed to consider it, but shook her head. "Maybe next time Helmet," she said coyly, giving Clay a suggestive wink which made Clay's mouth go dry and the blood rush down. _Shit. Think of something else before she comes back and sees,_ Clay thought desperately. _Dead puppies, drowned kittens, giant spiders, Donald Trump!_

oOoOoOo

Clay was sweating like a sinner in a church by the time he finished walking from his house to Hannah's while wearing the stupid black costume. _Whose fucking idea was it for me to wear a black medieval costume in California?!_

At that moment Hannah walked out of the front door of her house, wearing her medieval dress. Unlike Clay, she looked completely comfortable in her costume, but she looked hesitant to even be seen.

"I think this was a bad idea," she said after giving Clay a kiss on the cheek.

"No shit. I swear I'm sweating the Dead Sea under all this black," groaned Clay, and Hannah grinned at his joke. Though in Clay's mind, he wasn't exaggerating at all.

"Let's go before somebody sees us," urged Hannah and she grabbed Clay's arm to pull him along, but Mrs Baker's voice stopped them.

"Hannah dear wait! I need to get a photo of you two!" she called out, practically sprinting out of the house with a camera towards Clay and Hannah.

Beside Clay, Hannah groaned loudly and he smirked. Though deep down he was feeling much the same.

"Come on, strike a pose!" encouraged Mrs Baker as she brought the camera up to her face.

Clay pulled the fake sword out of its sheath and lifted it above his head, like a knight ready to bring the weapon down on someone's head. Hannah had dipped down into a curtsey, and then she grabbed the sword out of Clay's unsuspecting hands and pretended to cut his head off. Clay went along with it and contorted his face into a look of horror, which apparently looked ridiculous because both Hannah and Mrs Baker burst out laughing.

"Alright, have fun at school! And take lots of pictures!" said Mrs Baker excitedly, waving out to them as they walked down the street towards Liberty High.

Clay could practically feel the nervousness pouring off Hannah like waves, and she was doing that thing where she kept fiddling with her bracelets whenever she was nervous.

"What's wrong?" he asked.

"Nothing," she said quickly, but Clay wasn't buying it.

"You're doing that thing when you're nervous," he pointed out.

"Ugh fine! I'm just feeling a little self conscious right now in this costume," said Hannah bitterly.

"Why? From a distance it looks like you're just wearing a normal dress," said Clay, raising both his eyebrows in confusion. "I'm the one who's wearing a black cloak and a sword buckled to his waist, I'm pretty sure people will be giving me the funny looks," he added in an attempt to make Hannah feel better.

It was one of the things that Clay hated the most about what happened to her. Before her suicide attempt, maybe even earlier than that, Hannah was this impenetrable pillar that Clay looked up to because Hannah never let anything faze her and she wore flowery dresses and shirts that made her stand out in the crowd.. Now, she was extremely self-conscious of her appearance and any insult would be enough to make her cry. She now wore plain shirts and jeans, though the denim jacket that she constantly denied was her favourite was the only piece of the old Hannah Baker left.

Luckily, it seemed Clay's words were enough to comfort her and she gave him that smile that Clay swore she only gave to him. "True, you stick out like a sore thumb," she said sarcastically. "But what if people start making fun of what we're wearing?"

"Then I'll strike them down with my sword," said Clay with forced bravado and arrogance. "None shall insult my lady while I stand!" He drew his sword and twirled it around rather impressively.

"Wow, you're actually really good with that. Where'd you learn?" complimented Hannah.

"When I was a kid, I used to spend most of my weekends watching Lord of the Rings nonstop. The afterward I would run around the backyard with a stick and pretended to be a king or Jedi knight," said Clay, sighing as he remembered his childhood. "After a while, you learn some pretty sick moves."

"Wow, you really are a nerd," laughed Hannah.

"You've said that to me before," replied Clay, grinning.

Hannah nodded her head as a wistful smile came on her face. "I have, haven't I?" she said quietly. "Well, you've just gotten even more adorable to me."

"There's that word again."

Hannah rewarded his comment with another dazzling smile as she laced her fingers with his. They laughed and joked around right up till they walked through the school parking lot, and joined the swarm of teenagers going this way and that. A good many of them were wearing costumes, some simple, some just plain outrageous.

"Nice costume, Jensen!" somebody called out from the crowd of students.

"Way to go, Lord Commander!"

"Winter is Coming!"

"What the actual fuck is going on?" said Clay, astounded at all the compliments coming his way.

Hannah giggled. "I told you everyone watches Game of Thrones," she laughed.

"So you did," said Clay, grinning widely.

Hannah stopped walking suddenly and looked ahead of them with a stunned look on her face, before she burst into laughter.

"What is it?" asked Clay, feeling slightly embarrassed at the sight of his girlfriend buckled over with uncontrollable laughter.

"It... look over... there," wheezed Hannah, pointing in front of her.

Clay obliged and scanned the crowd ahead of him, his eyes resting on Courtney Crimsen.

"Courtney? What's so funny about what she's wearing?" said Clay, feeling thoroughly confused then.

"She's dressed like... like... Katy Perry!"

"And?"

"Cause she kissed a girl... and _she liked it!"_ Hannah kept laughing, and Clay could see tears running down her cheeks as she clutched her stomach.

"Very funny Han," drawled Clay with a roll of his eyes.

"I god! I need to pee!" guffawed Hannah.

"Alright, let's go then Miss Chuckles," said Clay and he led her inside, where he gave Hannah a kiss on the cheek before heading over to his locker, leaving Hannah to find the bathroom by herself.

The mass of students shifting near Clay was making him sweat even more than before, and Clay was seriously hating it. _Fuck Jon Snow_ , he thought bitterly. He managed to grab his books and stuff them in his bags, then turned around and saw Zach, Alex and Tony chatting together down the hall, so he decided to head over to them, waving at Sheri as he walked by.

"Lord Commander," said Alex in a stiff tone. He was dressed up in a Flash costume, as he had promised the other day. It looked a little tight, what with the fake muscle bulges.

"Great. We can add that onto the list of nicknames I'm slowly accumulating," said Clay sarcastically, earning a laugh from the other boys.

"Dude, aren't you feeling a little hot in that?" asked Zach, who was wearing swimming shorts and a pair of goggles and snorkel over his head.

"A little hot is a severe understatement," said Clay. "I have no idea how Hannah talked me into wearing this."

"Because she's your girl, and you do look pretty badass," commented Tony, who was wearing his usual white t-shirt, leather jacket and denim jeans.

"Fair point," conceded Clay.

"Oh come on! That's not dressing up, that's taking my style!" yelled Tony suddenly, looking around Clay's shoulder.

Clay turned around to see Justin and Jessica wearing a similar style to Tony, but Justin was wearing a mullet wig and Jessica with a blonde wig. Unfortunately, they were practically humping each other in the hallway and leaning against the lockers, much to the discomfort of a poor freshman who was desperately trying to push his way past them to his locker.

"If you'll excuse me, I have to go vomit," said Alex bitterly, and he left the boys by themselves.

Clay suddenly felt somebody jump on top of him and wrap their arms around his neck. Clay didn't have to see the person to know who it was, and his face broke into a smile when the person placed a kiss on top of his head.

"Have a productive bathroom trip?" asked Clay once Hannah swung around to his side to look at him.

Hannah grimaced. "Gross, only you would ask me that Helmet," she said.

"It was an honest question. You did say you had to-"

"Alright that's enough of that conversation!" Hannah said quickly before turning to Zach and Tony. "How's it going fellas?"

"Good," was all Zach said.

"Pretty good, I finished my homework for once," said Tony, grinning widely.

"Oh wow," said Hannah, her eyes widening. "Is that a once every few weeks sort of thing for you?"

"Try every few months. At this rate I'll be kept back a year, or worse, summer school," said Tony with a shudder.

"Oh no, we can't have that!" mocked Clay.

"I know right? Like who thought it would be a good idea to have school during the holidays?"

"Thanks Obama," muttered Hannah.

Just then the bell rang for classes and the group split off to attend their various subjects. Clay had biology with Zach, so he went with the tall Asian boy, while Tony escorted Hannah to her class.

Much to Clay's relief, the biology classroom was air conditioned, so he didn't have to suffer through the whole thing. Of course, that good luck was ruined when he had P.E. straight after, and he had to remove the cloak and the sword in order to move around properly, not that it mattered seeing as Clay was extremely uncoordinated to begin with and he sweat up a storm anyway.

Lunch time came around, and Clay was adamant that he was _not_ going to sit outside on the usual bench, and instead convinced everyone else to sit inside the cafeteria where it was cooler.

"Bro, are you okay? You look like you might be about to have a heart attack," said Zach.

"Oh no I'm fine thank you. I've always wanted to get rid of this excess fat I've been carrying around," said Clay dryly.

"But you're skinny?" said Zach as if it was the most obvious thing in the world.

"Dude, he was being sarcastic," said Alex exasperatedly.

A light seemed to flicker in Zach's brain and he grinned sheepishly. "Oh, right."

Tony could only shake his head and grin down at his lunch.

Hannah appeared then and sat down next to Clay and practically slammed her tray onto the table, making everyone else jump in surprise.

"I can NOT believe that fucking asshole!" hissed Hannah.

"What's wrong?" asked Clay, frowning slightly in concern.

"Mr-fucking-Porter, that's what's wrong!" Hannah practically growled. "He called me into his office second period and wanted to have a chat to see how I was going. Like all of a sudden he cares about what I do with my life!"

"What did you say?" asked Zach.

"I told him he's a terrible guidance councillor and to go fuck himself."

Clay choked on his sandwich and Hannah had to pat him hard on the back to get him to stop.

"You what?" he said in surprise.

"I told him to go fuck himself," repeated Hannah. "Seriously Clay clean your ears out."

"But-but... you told a teacher to go..."

"Oh come off it Clay, the guy deserved it," said Alex. "I mean, we all deserve to go fuck ourselves for what we did to you, Hannah, but it is mr Porter's _job_ to help people going through shit."

"Thank you Alex," smiled Hannah.

"Okay, okay I get it," conceded Clay. "But still, you swore at a teacher?'

"You're such a nerd Clay," laughed Tony.

"But he's my nerd," said Hannah in such a sappy tone that all the guys gagged in response. Hannah only laughed and leaned into Clay's side, but immediately pulled away with a look of disgust. "What the hell Helmet? Are you keeping a swimming pool under that cloak or something?"

"I blame you for making me wear this, you know," argued Clay.

"Oh shut up. You know you look cool in it," snapped Hannah in a loving way.

Clay couldn't really argue with that.

"When are they announcing the winners?" Alex suddenly asked.

"Next period. Everyone's going down to the gym to see the finalists," said Zach.

Just then a petite freshman girl walked up to the group of juniors nervously.

"You guys are in the finals," she squeaked.

"Excuse me?" asked Clay.

"You, her, him and him are in the finals," said the girl a little louder this time, pointing at Clay, Hannah, Zach and Alex. "Mr Porter wants you guys to stand in the middle of the basketball courts with the rest of the finalists." And with that, the small girl walked as fast as she could away from the older kids.

"Well fuck," swore Hannah.

"You said it," agreed Clay.

"Come on guys, it'll be fun!" said Zach in an attempt to lighten the darkening mood.

"Easy for you to say. You're in the limelight all the time!" said Clay loudly.

"You just need to get out of your comfort zone and stop being so sullen," said Alex, letting out an exaggerated sigh.

"I'm trying to stay in character," said Clay, scowling at the two boys. Hannah too looked, and probably felt even worse about being the centre of everyone's attention.

"You okay? We don't have to go if you don't want to," said Clay reassuringly, wrapping a protective arm around Hannah's shoulder.

"I think I'll be fine as long as you're with me," said Hannah, looking at Clay with those pale blue eyes, and he couldn't help but smile at her words.

"Welp! It's been fun hanging with you guys but we should really get to the gym before we get crushed by Comic Con 2017!" Alex suddenly said very loudly, slapping his hands on the table with a slightly panicked expression on his face.

Clay felt confused at Alex's sudden change of behaviour, but he saw Hannah roll her eyes at the blonde boy's antics. They all stood up as a group and headed left the cafeteria towards the gym. For Clay's sake, they avoided the outside routes and kept inside.

When they got to the gym, they saw that it was already half-full with students and teachers alike, all of them excited to be seeing who might win the dress-up competition. There were other finalists there as well, including Justin and Jessica. Zach gave the others an apologetic smile and to go stand with Bryce and Montgomery, who were dressed up similarly to Zach.

Tony too split off from them to go sit in the stands, leaving Clay, Hannah and Alex to stand awkwardly in front of the rapidly growing crowd of students. Hannah's grip on Clay's was vice-like, and he had to repress a wince that would surely convey his hurting.

Mr Porters stepped forward then and gave what was sure to be a rousing speech, but Clay wasn't paying attention. Instead he was focussing on Hannah, who was giving Mr Porter a look of pure loathing, and Clay was surprised that the guidance councillor hadn't combusted into flames yet.

"... Clay Jensen and Hannah Baker, for their stunning medieval cosplay!" finished Mr Porter, extending his hand towards Clay and Hannah.

"What?" said Hannah, looking at Clay, who could only shrug in confusion.

"You won," said Alex in his trademark dry tone, shoving the two towards Mr Porter.

The two teens shuffled awkwardly to the centre of the gym, where Mr Porter reached out his hand to shake theirs'. Clay accepted, albeit grudgingly, while Hannah just glared at Mr Porter's hand until the man dropped it, instead choosing to join in on the applause.

Clay had never been celebrated like this before. For a stupid competition? Maybe he should join in on more of these things. In a rare display of courage, Clay let go of Hannah's hand and drew his fake sword, thrusting it into the and letting off a loud bellow. This made the students go wild, them all joining in on Clay's battle cry, and even some of the kids who brought props of their own mimicked Clay's action.

Laughing, albeit feeling immensely embarrassed, Clay looked behind him towards Hannah, who was shaking her head in embarrassment, but the look of utter endearment on her face made Clay's heart pound against his ribcage, and he knew that she loved him just as much as he loved her.

oOoOoOo

"What the fuck?" exclaimed Clay.

Hannah had just walked out of the girl's bathroom wearing a completely different outfit than the one she had entered in.

"What? You didn't think I would wear that dress all day, did you?" said Hannah sarcastically.

She had exchanged her costume in favour of a long-sleeved maroon shirt and jeans, and Clay had to admit he would miss the dress she wore before.

"Well..." said Clay.

"Did you bring anything else to change into?"

"Ummm..."

"Jesus Clay what would you do without me?" Hannah remarked with a roll of her eyes.

"I have no clue," admitted Clay.

"You're just gonna have to suffer the consequences of your actions," said Hannah unsympathetically.

" _Hannah,"_ whined Clay, drawing out the name.

"Nope! Sorry, this is your own fault and I shall have no part of it!" said Hannah before she turned her back on him and walked down the hall.

Clay followed her and grumbled, "You could have a little more sympathy for a protector of the realm."

"I have no sympathy for idiots."

"Touché."

Clay quickly caught up to Hannah and took her hand in his own, grinning stupidly at her.

 _A/N- Okay this chapter was very fluffy and sappy and probably my longest chapter. 12 fucking pages. Anyway hope you enjoyed that lightheartedness!_


	11. Chapter 11- Night Terrors

_A/N- I will be the first person to admit that I don't know jack shit about being a lawyer or anything about policies and rules, I just hope this chapter doesn't come off sounding too stupid._

 **Chapter 11**

Clay knew something was wrong with Hannah the moment she walked out of her front door. She had been crying and quite heavily judging by the puffy, red eyes and tear streaks she was sporting. However, she tried her best to appear unaffected by anything and gave Clay a kiss on the lips before leading the way out of the Baker's front yard.

If there's one thing Clay has learned about Hannah, is that it's always best to get straight to the point with her, because Hannah absolutely _hated_ it when somebody tried to beat around the bush with her. So Clay asked the question, "What happened?"

Hannah snorted loudly, but it wasn't a snort of amusement. Rather, it sounded more like a cross between laughter and crying. "I fucked up," she said.

"How?" asked Clay.

"Mom and Dad. They found something."

"What did they find?" said Clay cautiously.

Hannah seemed to hesitate. "A list."

"A list of what?" pressed Clay. Something about this didn't seem right, he could feel the tension building up between he and Hannah, and could see that Hannah was fighting back tears.

Hannah took a deep, shaky breath before answering. "A list of the people on the tapes."

She said it so quietly, Clay wasn't completely sure he heard it correctly. But then it hit him.

"Wait, what do you mean your parents found a list of all the people who were on the tapes?" demanded Clay, probably a little too harshly, because Hannah flinched.

"Mom was doing some spring-cleaning around the house, and she was having a look through my wardrobe and she found it and _oh fuck I've fucked this up._ " Hannah burst into tears when she said the last few words, and Clay stopped them in the middle of the sidewalk to pull her into a hug.

"So what's wrong?" he asked gently, stroking the back of her head softly.

"Mom and Dad, they want to..." Hannah's voice trailed off.

"They want to what?"

Hannah sniffed loudly before answering. "They want to get to the bottom of this."

"Hannah, you need to be more specific. You are talking to the guy who didn't know you loved him till you said it to his face," said Clay. It was a stupid attempt to lighten the mood, but it worked, even if it was only a little bit.

Hannah giggled, but her face became sombre as she pulled away from Clay. "Clay, they're going to sue the school."

oOoOoOo

"They're WHAT?!" Zach all but shouted in front of the whole school.

"Quiet down," scolded Tony softly yet firmly, and Zach sat back down in his seat, cheeks flushed with embarrassment.

"My parents want to sue the school," said Hannah once the many eyes that had turned their way looked elsewhere. "They're convinced that the school could have done something to prevent what happened and they've gotten it into their heads that I did what I did because I was bullied."

"Well, they're not exactly wrong," quipped Sheri.

"I know, but this isn't how I wanted things to happen. I wanted this to happen on my terms," said Hannah softly.

"Well we can't change anything now. So what do we do?" asked Alex.

"I don't know," said Hannah. "Perhaps we could deny everything that happened."

"Including what Bryce did to you?" said Zach incredulously.

"No! I mean... ugh, I don't know," groaned Hannah burying her face in her hands.

Clay had been silent throughout Hannah's explanation of what was about to happen to everyone else, and his hands had balled into fists. Hannah seemed to sense Clay's tension and cocked her head to the side, silently asking him if he was okay.

"We could use this to our advantage," he said suddenly, and everyone looked at him with quizzical looks.

"What do you mean?" asked Tony.

"This is exactly what we've been waiting for. The right moment to bring your story to light," explained Clay, looking directly at Hannah, who was sitting directly opposite him.

"But Clay..." Hannah started.

"It's for the best Hannah. And it won't be your word against everyone else," cut in Clay as he grabbed Hannah's hand and gave it a light squeeze. "Everybody here is willing to back you up, and we've got the evidence to prove it."

"The tapes?" said Sheri, and Clay nodded his head.

"It won't be enough," said Alex.

"What do you mean?"

"I don't think the court will take Hannah seriously. Even if we were all to support her, we weren't there with Hannah when Bryce... you know," explained Alex.

"Shit, he's right," muttered Zach.

"Then how the fuck are we going to win this if it does come down to a full-on lawsuit?" asked Sheri.

"Clay, your mom's a lawyer, right?" said Tony.

"Yeah, why?" asked Clay.

"She'll know all the laws and regulations and shit. Maybe you could ask her about it."

Clay shook his head. "I don't think that will work," he said.

"You could ask her theoretically?" suggest Alex.

"No, she'd see through me from a mile away. Besides, I don't want to involve more people than necessary," said Clay, feeling hopelessness seep in.

"She could get involved," said Hannah.

"How?" asked Clay.

"My parents could hire her law firm," she suggested.

"No that wouldn't work either, I don't think. She'd be seen by the jury as bias towards the prosecutors."

"That's not a bad thing, is it?" said Sheri. "I mean, it'd just mean that she would work harder to find and present the evidence."

Clay honestly hadn't thought about that. "Fine, I'll ask her about it tonight," he conceded.

"And I'll talk to my parents about hiring your mom's law firm," said Hannah.

Nobody spoke for a few moments, though Zach and Tony would occasionally glare at anyone who got to close to them.

"Looks like everything's gonna go to shit," muttered Alex.

Nobody bothered to disagree with Alex.

oOoOoOo

"Hey Mom, can I ask you something?" asked Clay.

He was helping his mother clean up after dinner that night, and the two were currently washing and drying the dishes.

"Sure honey, what's up?" said Mom.

"Well... I was just wondering but, could somebody be arrested for a crime if the victim confessed?" he asked.

"Well that depends on the crime and the evidence given," said Mom, frowning slightly.

"So let's say somebody made an audio confessing that they were physically abused, would that be enough?" pressed Clay.

"If the victim was willing to give a statement in court, maybe."

Damn. Clay knew that Hannah was still on the sidelines about that, but Clay had to try. For her. Suddenly an idea popped into his head.

"What if the perpetrator were to somehow confess to their crime?"

"Then it might be enough," said Mom.

That's it! All Clay had to do was somehow get Bryce to confess to raping Hannah and Jessica. But how?

"Clay, what's this all about? Why the sudden interest in law?" asked Mom.

"It-it's nothing Mom, just a theoretical question," lied Clay.

Mom put down the plate she was drying and turned her body so she was looking straight at him. "Clay, has something happened to you?" she asked worriedly.

"What? No I'm fine really-"

"Is it about Hannah's court case?"

Clay froze. How did she know that?

"The Bakers called me this afternoon," explained Mom. "They want me to represent them." She took a tentative step forward towards her son. "Clay, did something happen to Hannah? Is this about why she tried to kill herself?"

"I... I can't say Mom. It's not my place," said Clay quietly, afraid that if he spoke any louder his mother would hear the turmoil in his voice.

"Clay..."

"I can't Mom. Hannah trusted me with her secrets. If she wants to tell you, she can. But I'm not betraying her."

"Even if it's for her own good?"

Clay leveled his mother with an angry look. "A lot of people have said that to her, and look where it got her," he said lowly, and with that he walked up to his room and slammed the door behind him.

oOoOoOo

Three days later, Clay was having his breakfast whilst trying his best to ignore the looks his parents were giving each other.

"You guys can stop with the mental communication," huffed Clay finally.

"Oh look, he's discovered our secret," said Dad dryly.

"Not a very well-kept secret," deadpanned Clay.

"Touché. Did you want to tell him?"

Clay looked up from his breakfast. "Tell me what?" he asked.

Mom sighed, and leaned back in her chair. "The Bakers are going to move forward with the case, and have issued a subpoena to all the kids at your school whose names were found on a list," she said. "Including yours."

Clay couldn't say that he was surprised, and his lack of emotion at the news was enough to make his parents look at him funny.

"You're not surprised?" asked Dad.

"Not really. Well, I am a little about the summoning but Hannah told me about the list," said Clay.

"Do you know why you're on this list?" asked Mom.

"Yes. And if Hannah wants I'll tell the court everything I know," replied Clay.

"You can't defend Hannah forever," warned Mom.

"I can try," growled Clay before he stood up, grabbed his school bag and walked out the door, leaving stunned parents in his wake.

Clay was fuming right up until he picked Hannah up from her house, and Clay instantly felt at peace when her saw her, the anger simmering down till it was barely noticeable. They said nothing the whole way to school, instead merely taking comfort in one another's presence. Clay should have known that things were going to get worse when he saw Justin marching up to them with a blazing look in his eyes the moment they walked through the front door.

"What the fuck Baker!" shouted Justin.

Clay subconsciously pulled Hannah behind him in a protective gesture. "Fuck off Foley," he warned.

"She's going to ruin us! And you're helping her!" bellowed Justin, pointing an accusing finger at Clay and Hannah.

"Like you ruined her?" challenged Clay, his own temper steadily rising.

Justin responded by shoving Clay to the floor, then stepped over him to reach Hannah, who had taken a few steps back from the raging boy. Clay saw red and without hesitation, he tackled Justin from behind to the floor and slammed his fists into Justin's face.

Clay's vision had gone black, the only thing he could see was Justin's face at the end of the dark tunnel, and he knew with all his being that he had to protect Hannah. So he didn't stop his fists from slamming repeatedly into Justin's face, and soon his knuckles were covered in blood, but Clay kept going.

He felt two pairs of strong hands grab Clay's arms and yank him up, but Clay fought against them. He had to protect Hannah, he _had_ to because she had already suffered enough and he'd be damned if he let it happen again. Justin remained lying on the floor, his face covered in his own blood and was beginning to already swell.

Clay realised that a crowd had gathered around him, Justin and whoever was holding Clay back, and his eyes sought out Hannah. She had been somehow pushed to the back of the crowd, and she looked terrified of what had just happened. As quickly as it had come, the hate and anger fled Clay's body, replaced with repulsion for his own actions. He ducked his head in shame, and didn't comprehend that somebody was dragging him away from the scene of the crime.

He was led through the school halls towards the administration offices before he was brought into the principal's office, where Principal Bolan and Mr Porter were waiting.

"Thank you Mr Dempsey and Mr Padilla," said Mr Porter sternly, his eyes never leaving Clay.

Clay heard the door close behind him, but he didn't see the sympathetic looks his friends gave him.

"Have a seat, Mr Jensen," said Mr Bolan.

Clay obeyed and sat down in one of the chairs, and he looked down at his bloody knuckles. The blood didn't belong to him, he realised. It was Justin's. Clay didn't even realise he was capable of such violence, but then again he was willing to do whatever it took to protect Hannah.

"Well? What do you have to say for yourself?" asked Mr Porter, breaking Clay from his thoughts.

"Nothing," said Clay.

"Nothing?" scoffed Mr Bolan. "Mr Jensen, you just beat our school basketball captain senseless in the middle of the school hallway and you have nothing to say?"

"I was protecting Hannah," said Clay flatly, his voice betraying no emotion.

"Hannah?" said Mr Porter incredulously. "What does Hannah Baker have to do with this?"

"Justin was about to attack her, so I did what any honourable man would do," said Clay.

"This isn't the Dark Ages, Mr Jensen," said Mr Bolan, "we have systems in place for this sort of thing now."

"And how well have they worked out for you?" snapped Clay. "Because you sure as hell didn't know that a girl was being bullied to the point where she tried to kill herself until it was too late."

Mr Bolan and Mr Porter gave Clay blank looks.

"I'm not sure we're following you," said Mr Porter uncertainly.

"Really? So you're denying that you had any knowledge of what was happening to her?" growled Clay.

"Because there were no signs!"

"Of course there were fucking signs!" shouted Clay. "How else do you explain when one of the most outgoing girls in the school suddenly becomes reserved, rarely interacts with others in class, suddenly changes her style and even comes to the guidance counselor for help!

"I was too late to see the signs, but I blame the school for not doing their job and figuring it out," finished Clay. He then stood up from his chair and walked towards the door, but paused at when he was halfway through the doorway. "For your sakes, you better hope I'm in a good mood when I get subpoenaed," he threatened before slamming the door behind him, ignoring the calls for him to come back.

Clay wanted to go straight to Hannah, but he feared what her reaction would be. It was very unlike Clay what he did, first to Justin and then threatening the two most powerful men at Liberty High, but right now he didn't care. He just wanted to find his girlfriend to see if she was alright.

He found her sitting in the courtyard, surrounded by the others. Zach and Tony were standing with their arms crossed like bodyguards, their eyes blazing cold as ice, never lingering on one person for too long. When they saw Clay, Zach and Tony stiffened slightly as he came nearer to them. They moved in perfect synchrony and blocked Clay's view of Hannah. While Clay was touched by their loyalty to Hannah, he was also angry that their hostility was directed towards him.

"Let me through," said Clay lowly.

"Are you sure?" asked Tony. "You did freak out before."

"I'm fine. Now let me see my damn girlfriend!" snarled and he shoved past the two boys roughly. He dropped down on his knees in front of Hannah and rested his bloodied hands on her knees gently.

"Are you okay?" asked Clay quietly.

Hannah nodded her head, but she wouldn't meet his gaze. "You didn't have to do that," she whispered.

"Do what?"

"Protect me like that."

Clay scowled. "Yes I did, Hannah. Justin was coming after you," he said fiercely.

"You don't know that," argued Hannah, who finally looked at Clay.

"I know what guys are like Hannah, and I wasn't going to let Justin hurt you ever again." Clay's scowl turned into a frown. "What happened to him anyway?"

"A couple of teachers took him to the nurse's office and the ambulance showed up not too long ago," said Tony from behind Clay. "You really fucked him up man."

"Good," muttered Clay. He had no sympathy for the boy right now, despite whatever shit he was going through.

"That was very un-Clay of you," continued Tony. "I've never seen you lose your shit like that ever, and I've known you for years."

"Geez, thanks. Your sympathy is touching," muttered Clay.

"Clay, your hands," Hannah said quietly. Clay looked down at his hands, the knuckles still bloody. He could also feel them starting to sting as the adrenaline left his system.

"It's not my blood," said Clay nonchalantly.

"Looks like some of it is," retorted Hannah, taking his hands in her own and inspecting them closer. She scowled, and when she prodded one of his knuckles and Clay hissed in pain, the expression only deepened. She stood up then, still holding Clay's hand and said, "Come on, let's get this washed off," and dragged him over to the nearest tap.

"Ow," hissed Clay when the cold water made contact with his skin. Hannah ignored him and went about her work, massaging the blood off his hands as gently as she could, the frown never leaving her face.

When the blood had been washed away, it revealed bruises and cuts that Clay hadn't even realised were there before. His right hand in particular was beginning to swell, a dull throb pulsing through his veins.

"Shit, I should start taking fighting classes," joked Clay, but his laughter was silenced by the cold look Clay gave him.

"I don't want you hurting yourself for me," said Hannah, a pleading look in her eyes.

"I'm not gonna stand by and watch you get hurt. Not again," said Clay, his throat tightening unpleasantly.

"Clay..." pleaded Hannah.

"No," said Clay with so much commitment it startled Hannah. "I made a promise, and I intend to keep it."

Hannah didn't say anything to that. She only nodded her head and led Clay back to their friends. They weren't alone however, as Mrs Bradley was waiting for him.

"Mr Jensen, I need you to come with me," she said tightly.

"Is something wrong?" asked Hannah worriedly.

"I'm not at liberty to speak about it, I just have to bring Clay to the office," said Mrs Bradley.

"It's fine," said Clay. He pecked Hannah on the cheek. "See you later?"

"Sure," said Hannah and she gave him a small smile.

Clay followed Mrs Bradley to the office, and found his furious-looking mother waiting in the principal's office. He knew that look. It was the 'I'm-gonna-fuck-you-up-when-we-get-home' look. Luckily Clay had only been subjected to it a few times in his life, and never during all his teenage years. Until today that is.

"Come in Clay," said Mr Bolan. When Clay sat down he continued. "We have talked to other witnesses, and they all seem to confirm your side of the story. Unfortunately, we will have to suspend you because we cannot allow students to simply attack other kids, even if the circumstances warrant such behaviour."

Clay wasn't surprised, he knew his actions would have resulted in a suspension. But he was more angry about the _why._

"So I was supposed to just stand there like a good boy and watch my girlfriend be assaulted?" growled Clay. Mom lay a warning hand on his shoulder.

"That's not what we're saying. We believe it would have been best if you came to a teacher before taking action yourself," said Mr Bolan calmly.

"If I did that, by the time a teacher would have come around Hannah would have already been hurt!" shouted Clay, rising from his seat and shrugging off Mom's hand angrily.

"We are aware of that but-"

"No, you're not! If you were I wouldn't be getting suspended for defending someone! What's Justin's punishment? A slap on the wrist?!"

"Mr Jensen I would advise you to-"

Clay threw his hands up in the air and growled. "Oh bugger that. Just tell me how many days I'm out of school for so I can get out of here," he snarled furiously.

"An offence like this would normally warrant a five-day suspension, but given your consistent good grades and your membership on the school honor board, we have reduced it to three days," said Mr Bolan. "I am sorry it had to come to this."

 _He sounds so defeated. Good,_ thought Clay as he left the office, followed closely by Mom.

His mother said nothing until they were in the car.

"What is going on Clay?" she asked, or rather, demanded. "First you're asking strange questions and now you're starting fights in school?"

"I didn't start the fight," said Clay.

"Why did you beat that boy up? He hasn't done anything to you!"

Clay snorted loudly. "You mean he hasn't done anything to me that you know of," he said derisively.

Mom's eyes widened. "What do you mean?"

"I'm not saying anything until we go to court," said Clay. When his mom opened her mouth to protest, he stopped her. "I'm sorry, but I just can't."

His mother said nothing for a few minutes and the rest of the ride back home was quiet. When they pulled into their driveway though, Mom said something he would never expect.

"For what it's worth, I'm proud of you for sticking up for Hannah, Clay."

oOoOoOo

A sickening glee consumed Clay's emotions. His hands were bloodied and his knuckles swollen and purple. Justin lay on the ground, his face ten times worse than Clay's hands. He felt good, beating that kid. He would never hurt Hannah again, not if Clay could help it.

Suddenly, Justin's shape began to change. His hair grew longer and his body shrank, but also grew in other places till it was feminine shaped. The change stopped, and Justin was no longer there.

Hannah lay there, her wrists slit open and blood dripped out of them, staining the ground in crimson paint. Her eyes were glassy and lifeless as she stared up at Clay. His strange happiness was replaced with confusion, then panic.

"No, I was too late," said Clay, looking at the sight of his dead girlfriend in horror.

Hannah's lips began moving wordlessly, and Clay crouched down so he could hear what she was saying.

"You couldn't save me... you couldn't save me," she whispered, her voice devoid of any emotion.

The words hit Clay like a sledgehammer, and he lurched backwards, scrambling backwards as fast as he could away from Hannah, but as fast as he tried to move, Clay wasn't going anywhere. He couldn't escape. Hannah's body stayed exactly where it was, those damned words continuing to flow from her mouth.

"I'm sorry, I'm so sorry," whimpered Clay, and he raised his hands to his face to shield his eyes.

He felt something wet dripping down his face, and when Clay touched the substance and pulled his hand away, his finger was coated in fresh blood. He saw a reflection of himself and the blood was coming from the cut on his forehead.

"You couldn't save me..."

"I'm sorry... I'm so sorry..."

Clay looked down at his hands, and they were holding razor blades covered in blood. Hannah's blood.

"NOOOO!" screamed Clay, and he jolted out of his bed, breathing heavily and covered in sweat.

He jumped out of bed and rushed to the bathroom, slamming and locking the door behind him, then dumped the contents of his stomach into the toilet.

" _You couldn't save me..."_

"Stop, stop," moaned Clay, cradling his head in his arms once the vomit stopped coming out.

" _You couldn't save me..."_

"No. Stop stop stop stop STOP! STOP IT!" Clay shrieked at the top of his voice. He started to bang his head against the wall over and over again.

"Clay! Honey what's wrong!" came the sound of Mom's voice from behind the closed door.

"NO NO NO! STOP!" The voice wouldn't leave Clay's head. It was taunting, mocking him for things outside of his control.

Deep down, Clay knew that he had saved Hannah's life, but that didn't make the voice any less real.

Behind Clay, the door was kicked open and both his mom and dad barged in to see their only son sprawled on the floor, whimpering and shaking like a beaten dog. Mom gathered Clay into her arms and rocked him gently, whispering words of comfort in his ear while tears streaked down her face.

Dad, using all his strength, picked Clay up from the bathroom and carried him back to his room, his mother refusing to let go of his hand. Clay continued to shiver, both from the sweat on his body that was starting to dry, and the paralysing fear that gripped him. His father gently laid him down on the bed and tucked him into his blanket, while his mother stroked his hair softly.

Eventually, Clay fell into a fitful sleep, but the dream did not come back to him that night.

 _A/N- Firstly, some of you might be wondering why Clay is a little OOC in this chapter. Let me just say that this is a darker Clay than what's seen in the shown and he's suffering from PTSD because of what he's seen, similar to how Hannah had that panic attack in one of the previous chapters and she had to go to Clay's house to calm down. Hence the nightmare at the end of this chapter. This will continue to affect both Clay and Hannah throughout the next chapters._

 _I've found PTSD to be one of the more destructive mental illnesses based on what I've seen because it affects people differently and there's no real way to see the signs. My grandfather has it from experiences in war and it really fucks him up sometimes. I wanted to focus on that this chapter and talk about it the way my grandfather describes it, and I only hope I've done it justice._


	12. Chapter 12- The Walking Dead

_A/N- I seem to do all of my best work when I'm feeling particularly sleep deprived. Curse you insomnia! *shakes fist wildly into the air while a vicious string of curses, both known and made up fall from my mouth.*_

 _At least, I think my best work comes when I'm tired. I don't know you guys let me know. Alright I'll stop my rambling now. Like... right now._

 **Chapter 12**

Three days. Three days of no sleep. Three days of laying in bed, feeling his body wasting away. Three days of next to no contact with the outside world. Three days with no Hannah standing at his side, to be his beacon while the rest of the world burned around him.

The truth was, Clay was terrified. He hadn't slept at all since that first night, afraid that the nightmares would return to destroy him. He only fell asleep once, and the horrors came back to him and his mother had been forced to wake him up while he screamed and begged for mercy into his pillow.

He had been unable to find solace in Hannah, because his parents had taken his phone from him for the duration of his suspension and Clay hated them for it. He _needed_ her, more than anything else. He needed to hear her soft voice comforting him while she ran her fingers through his hair in that way Clay absolutely loved. He needed her hugs, to hold her in his arms, her kisses that reminded Clay that everything would be alright.

His parents had talked about putting Clay back on the medication he used as a child, but he adamantly refused. Clay despised how the drugs made him sluggish, like he was drunk minus the headaches in the morning. All he needed was Hannah, and he would be fine.

The day he was to go back to school, Clay took care to clean himself up. He looked in the mirror, and honestly didn't like what he saw. He had lost a bit of weight, and there were dark circles under his eyes, which were so bloodshot he looked like a vampire. His hair was messy and stuck up in all directions, no longer looking like the helmet hair he so frequently bore. Clay briefly considered using makeup to hide the dark circles, but his honor and manliness refused to allow him to do so.

So Clay sighed heavily and finished washing up before heading downstairs, grabbed his bag and went out the door, ignoring the breakfast laid out for him.

Clay dawdled all the way to school, having left his bike back home. He couldn't tell you what he did on the way there, his mind having run on autopilot the whole way there. He ignored the strange looks people gave him as he walked into the school grounds and the whisperings that followed him, it didn't matter to him anyway.

"He punched Justin Foley."

"I heard he full on smashed his head in."

"I was there, and it was pretty close to that."

"Who would have thought quiet guy Clay Jensen was a fighter."

He spotted Hannah first, laughing amongst the group of friends that Clay had come to care about deeply. Clay didn't know whether to go over to them or keep walking, and in the dilemma that warred in his mind he froze in place.

Hannah saw him then, and her face hardened with a steely look in her eyes as she stands up from the bench she was sitting on. She made a beeline straight for Clay, and he was suddenly afraid of what the girl might do to him.

The look on Hannah's face faltered as she got closer to Clay, then became full blown worry as her anger seemed to completely vanish. No doubt she could see how terrible he looked, he _was_ practically an extra for the walking dead.

"What the hell?" said Hannah once she stood directly in front of Clay, a textbook length apart from him. She raised a hand and gently pressed it against his cheek before asking, "What happened to you?"

"It's nothing," said Clay, leaning into her touch as his own hand closed around hers.

"Don't bullshit me Jensen," warned Hannah, her face hardening again, though that fear and concern never left her eyes.

Clay sighed and said, "It's nothing bad. Just bad dreams is all."

"Those must be some pretty awful dreams if they keep you up at night," remarked Hannah.

 _Oh, you have no idea,_ Clay thought bitterly. "I guess."

"Are you sure you're alright?" asked Hannah. "We can always ditch if you want."

Clay smirked, though it felt rather forced considering how tired he was feeling. "I don't think it would be a good idea for me to ditch when I've only just been allowed back in," he joked.

"True. I do want to spend some alone time with you though," said Hannah. "Wait, that reminds me." Then punched him hard on the arm and Clay yelped in shock and pain.

"What the hell Han!" he yelled while Hannah continued to rain down blows to his arm. He shrunk back from his girlfriend's fury, desperately trying to protect himself.

"Why-" _smack!_

"Ow!

"-the-" _smack!_

"Hannah!"

"-hell-" _smack!_

"Be reasonable woman!"

" _-_ didn't-" _smack!_

"This is needlessly complicated-"

"-you-" _smack!_

"Will you let me-"

"CALL ME!" shouted Hannah, letting off one more punch to Clay's now-numb shoulder.

"I was grounded!" defended Clay quickly before Hannah could punch him again. "My parents took my phone off me so I couldn't call or text you!"

Hannah opened her mouth to retort but stopped. "Really?" she said disbelievingly. "Then why didn't you just say so?"

"You were too busy punching me!" snapped Clay, rubbing feeling back into his arm.

Hannah's eyes widened and she grinned sheepishly, her face turning red. "Sorry," she mumbled.

Clay smiled warmly at Hannah, but in truth their little scuffle had almost completely drain him of energy. The lack of sleep had hit him harder than he originally thought.

Hannah seemed to sense his fatigue as well and guided him over to where everyone else was sitting. They all fell silent at their arrival, and some looked shocked at Clay's appearance.

"Dude, what happened to you?" asked Alex.

Clay didn't say anything as he sat down, and Hannah linked her arm through his, drawing circles on his back with her other hand. The feeling on his back was oddly soothing, and he closed his eyes, sighing in content.

Conversation started back up around him, and Clay probably would have fallen asleep if he hadn't been paying attention to the conversation.

"When does it say for us to go there?" asked Sheri.

"End of November," answered Alex.

"Have you gotten your's yet?" said Tony.

"Nope, but I reckon it might come today," said Zach.

"I'm so sorry about all of this," said Hannah from beside Clay, feeling her body vibrate as she spoke because he was leaning against her.

"Hannah it's not your fault. We knew this would happen eventually," said Tony consolingly.

"Yeah girl, we're gonna help you get through this," added Sheri.

"This court case might fuck us all up though," insisted Hannah.

Clay's head snapped up. "Huh?" he said, blinking stupidly.

"Were you not paying attention?" said Zach.

Clay continued to stare at everyone as he struggled to put everything together, but for some reason he couldn't come up with anything.

Hannah sighed loudly and stood up. "That's it. We're going for a drive," she said in an annoyed voice.

"But Hannah," groaned Clay as he was dragged up to his feet by the girl.

"No buts. You're coming home and having a nice long nap," snapped Hannah. When Clay stumbled over his own feet, she added, "See? You can't even stand up properly."

Clay stopped protesting, and allowed himself to be dragged to Hannah's car, where she practically shoved him into the front passenger seat. He leant back against the seat and closed his eyes while Hannah hopped in, started the car and drove out of the school parking lot.

Clay tried his best to fall asleep in the car, but the constant bouncing of the car kept jostling him around, preventing him from getting comfortable, plus he was too scared to fall asleep, just in case the nightmares came back and Hannah had to witness for herself just what happens to him. So instead, he looked out of the window and tried to take all the sights in, letting himself daydream of a better time before attempted suicides, lawsuits and night terrors.

He thought he saw what looked like Tyler Down standing in an alleyway talking to somebody, but Clay wasn't so sure, not quite trusting his muddled brain to make sense of anything. So he ignored it and turned his head to stare at Hannah instead. He noticed how she tended to frown and stick her lips out slightly when she was focussed on something, and she would always unconsciously tuck a nonexistent strand of hair behind her ear.

When Hannah caught Clay staring at her, she raised an eyebrow, yet her cheeks became tinged with pink. Words couldn't properly describe what Clay felt for the girl. She was the sun, the light that kept the darkness at bay. He longed to see her smile, because it washed away all the worries and fear that lurked behind her pale blue eyes. Right now, that worry shone through, worry for Clay's wellbeing.

Hannah pulled her car into her home's driveway, much to Clay's surprise. Turning the car off, Hannah jumped out of the car and helped Clay out. Clay was briefly reminded of when Tony kicked down the front door as Hannah led him inside and up the stairs, then into her room.

"What- why are we at your place?" mumbled Clay.

"Because my house is closer to school and you look ready to drop dead," answered Hannah as she pulled back her bed's blankets. She then gently helped Clay down into the bed and took his shoes and bag off.

"Won't your parents be home soon?" said Clay nervously.

"Please Clay. School's barely even started and my parents are working till late," scoffed Hannah.

"I never thought you'd be one to take advantage of me in a moment of weakness. Or when your parents aren't home," joked Clay, smirking slightly.

"Yeah, nah. Maybe another time," laughed Hannah while her cheeks burned something fierce.

She gently pushed Clay down till his head was resting on the pillows, tucking him in like his mother used to do when he was a small boy. Hannah then curled up behind him as he turned to lay on his side and began running her fingers through his hair, humming to herself. Clay was too tired to try to figure out what song she was humming, only that her voice was sweet and pleasant to listen to.

"Clay?" said Hannah, ceasing her humming.

"Hm?" mumbled Clay, his eyes drifting shut.

"What are you dreaming about that's got you so freaked out?"

Clay stiffened at the question. Did he dare tell her? It didn't seem right to place his burdens on Hannah's shoulders. Yet for some reason, his mouth opened up of its own accord and he said, "The night I found you."

He felt Hannah's body stiffen against his back.

"I also dream of being too late, and you, your parents, everyone is blaming me for being too late."

 _Wow, being sleep-deprived really me a chatty person,_ thought Clay.

He felt something wet fall onto his cheek, and when Clay turned his body around to face Hannah he saw that she was crying silently.

"Oh Clay, I'm so sorry," she cried as she tried to wipe the tears away.

"Hey, hey, hey. It's not your fault," whispered Clay as his hand reached up to stroke Hannah's cheek. "I don't blame you for my problems. I've always had this sort of thing happen to me."

"Nightmares?" said Hannah incredulously.

Clay nodded his head. "When I was a kid, I used to have night terrors all the time and I'd get major anxiety issues and panic attacks. It got so bad that Mom and Dad had to put me on medication to stop it. I haven't had any attacks for a couple years now, not since before I met you."

"And now all this is bringing it back?" asked Hannah.

"I'm not sure," said Clay honestly. "Probably though. And I don't blame you for it at all. I'd probably be ten times worse if you had died," he added when Hannah opened her mouth to argue.

"But Clay-" protested Hannah weakly.

"I don't want to hear it," said Clay quickly. "I just want to sleep now. Can you hold me?" He knew he sounded pathetic, having to ask his girlfriend for comfort but he didn't know what else to do.

Thankfully, Hannah agreed silently and snuggled up closer to Clay until their noses were brushing gently against one another's. Hannah's breath blowing gently on Clay's face sent warm tingles through his body, and her beautiful blue eyes were the last thing he remembered before sleep claimed him.

oOoOoOo

"Hannah! We're home!" called out Mrs Baker.

Hannah quickly hopped out of bed, being careful to not jostle Clay awake as she did so and crept out of her room. When she saw her parents she put a finger over her mouth to quiet their chattering and pointed upstairs to her room.

Her parents gave her a queer look and followed Hannah into her room, where they saw Clay snoring quietly on her bed.

"Um, care to tell me what's going on?" asked Mr Baker.

"I brought Clay here because he hadn't been sleeping well," said Hannah. "He suffers from night terrors and the stress over everything is bringing them back."

"You didn't-" began Mrs Baker.

"Mom no!" Hannah interrupted quickly, feeling her face heat up furiously. "I swear we did nothing like that. Clay practically fainted as soon as his head his the bed and he's been out ever since." she looked at him worriedly and added "I think this is the first proper sleep he's had in days."

Mr Baker didn't seem too bothered by it and shrugged, though Mrs Baker still looked skeptical. "Does his parents know?" she asked.

"Yeah. I sent his mom a text on Clay's phone explaining the situation. She didn't seem to mind since he was actually sleeping," she said while nodding her head.

Mrs Baker pursed her lips but conceded the point. "Okay. If he needs to stay the night he can, but no funny business," she warned as her eyes narrowed at Hannah.

Hannah rolled her eyes. "I know I know. But come on, this is Clay we're talking about. The perfect gentleman? I wouldn't be surprised if he didn't want to have sex unless we were married," she joked, and her parents chuckled quietly at that then let her and Clay be after that.

Hannah tip toed back into her room, closing the door behind her and pressed herself against Clay's back. Clay let out a deep sigh of contentment, as if he sensed Hannah's presence, and she couldn't help but marvel at how well they fit together, like two pieces of a puzzle.

How could someone so pure and sweet be forced to live such a fate. Surely Clay deserved somebody better than Hannah, who felt so broken and useless all the time. Yet Clay was there to put her back together, who treated her as someone of worth and made her feel loved. And now he was the one suffering, who was broken and beaten down so low in a way only Hannah could understand. So she swore right then and there that she would exactly to help Clay the same way he had helped her.

Clay grunted and rolled over to his other side then, his eyes opening blearily. He smiled widely when his gaze fell upon Hannah, which set her heart racing in a way only Clay could make happen.

"Morning," he yawned.

"You mean evening," said Hannah amusedly.

Clay frowned in confusion and he looked over Hannah's head at the alarm clock sitting on the nightstand, which read five-thirty pm. His eyes widened in shock and his face turned read, while Hannah laughed at his discomfort.

"Oh shit!" he swore, and he struggled to sit up but Hannah pushed him back down.

"Han, I'm so sorry! I didn't mean to-" started Clay, but he was silenced when Hannah put a finger to his lips.

"Shhh, it's fine," said Hannah. "You needed to sleep and honestly, you don't look like you've been in Azkaban so much."

Hannah was being honest. She could already see the wonders that a good rest did to Clay. The dark circles under his eyes had faded some and he didn't look so pale, and his eyes had reignited with life that had been missing before.

"I still look adorable?" asked Clay hopefully and Hannah laughed.

"In a pathetic, 'I-feel-sorry-for-you' kinda way," said Hannah.

"Good. I wouldn't want it any other way," sighed Clay as he turned to lay on his back. "Are your parents home?"

"Yeah. They got here not too long ago," said Hannah.

"Do they know I'm here?"

"Yep." At Clay's stunned look she elaborated. "I explained everything to them, and your mom knows as well."

Clay breathed a sigh of relief. "Oh good," he chuckled, "I was worried your parents would kick me out if they found me sleeping in your bed."

Hannah said nothing, but she propped her elbow up to rest her head atop of to stare at Clay. He turned his head to stare at her and Hannah felt her breath hitch in her throat at the way he was looking at her. She couldn't resist (not that she wanted to) and leaned down for a kiss, which Clay responded to eagerly.

It started off chaste, but the kiss quickly became more heated and soon their tongues had joined the fray, dancing together in a battle fueled by love and lust. Hannah felt a heat gather at the pit of her stomach as Clay took control and gently pushed her down so that he was practically laying on top of her.

They broke apart for air, breathing heavily and Hannah stared into Clay's eyes, which had become darkened with desire for her, and no doubt the look on his face was mirrored on her own.

"Clay..." Hannah breathed heavily.

"Yeah?" said Clay.

"I want you," she replied, and she used her hand hand to guide his down her leg, where it gripped her thigh in a way that made Hannah gasp loudly.

Clay frowned though and shook his head, removing her hand from her thigh.

"Not today," he said quietly, and Hannah couldn't help but feel disappointed and a little ashamed.

"Why not?" she asked.

"It just doesn't feel right," he said, and to Hannah he sounded almost as disappointed as she felt.

"Did I do something wrong?" she choked out, silently cursing herself for feeling so emotional. It felt like a reminder of all the guys who only wanted her for her body, and now that she was offering herself to someone she loved, it felt like a rejection. Like she wasn't good enough.

"What? No!" Clay said quickly and perhaps a little too loudly. "Hannah, I want this as much as you, but it doesn't feel like the right time."

"Why not?" demanded Hannah angrily.

"Well for one thing, your parents are home and would probably hear us," said Clay seriously.

Oh. Hannah had forgotten about that completely. "Oh shit you're right," she groaned, clapping a hand over her forehead in embarrassment while Clay chuckled.

"We don't have to rush this either," said Clay then, "besides, we're still a little early in our relationship for that sort of thing."

"It feels like it's been longer though, doesn't it?" said Hannah.

"Yeah," agreed Clay. "But there's no one I'd rather be with than you."

"Me too," said Hannah. And she meant it. She was happy to spend the rest of her life with Clay.

 _A/N- Clay's strange behaviour and sluggishness and openness is based off something that happened to me a few months ago. I won 100 dollars to try to stay awake for as long as possible, along with one of my friends and we stayed awake for nearly three whole days. Whatever you do, DON'T. EVER. DO. IT. No matter the reward._


	13. Chapter 13- It Was Worth It

_A/N- A reviewer asked if I could add some smut into my story. I just want to say that reading smut makes me feel rather uncomfortable because... well let's just say I was raised old-fashioned. So no, there will be no smut but sexual activities will be implied. That's all I have to say. If you wanna know what I mean by 'old-fashioned' send me a PM but I'm sure you'll know what I mean._

 **Chapter 13**

"Deep breath Clay, you'll be fine," assured Mom.

Clay did as he was told and closed his eyes, taking a deep breath. he flexed his fingers and reached up to adjust his tie nervously.

"Stop fidgeting," snapped Mom impatiently.

"Sorry, mumbled Clay.

"It's okay. It's time to go in," said Mom, checking her watch as she stood up.

Clay took another deep breath and followed his mother into the room. He held the door out for Mom before letting himself in behind her. It was an impressive room, open-spaced with a view of the city and bay. In the centre of the room was a long table of deep mahogany, mainly used for conferences and the like. Only one chair was placed on the far side of the table, a black, leather armchair that looked as formidable as it did comfortable.

A single video camera on a tripod sat sat on the other side of the table opposite the chair between two other leather armchairs, which was to be used to record the testimonies of Clay and the other teenagers. Seated nervously in the corner were Hannah and her parents, while the defence attorney was standing in another corner, talking into his phone in hushed tones. When the man saw Clay and Mom come in, he finished his call and walked over to them.

"Good, now we can begin," said the man curtly, shaking Clay's hand before directing him over to sit in the lone chair.

He gave Hannah a small smile as he passed, one which she returned, while Mrs Baker gave him a thumbs up. Clay repressed a groan of pleasure when he sat into the armchair, because it was probably the comfiest thing he had ever sat in. But it still didn't settle the nerves which bubbled just below the surface.

Clay and Hannah had discussed what he would talk about when it came time for him to give his testimony. Zach, Alex and Sheri had already given their's, speaking of their involvement of Hannah's attempted suicide as truthfully as they could. Marcus, Ryan, Courtney and Jessica had also given their testimonies, but Clay didn't know what they had said and he wasn't allowed to know.

Justin never showed up for his testimony, apparently circumstances at home prevented him from attending. When Clay asked Alex about it, he looked uncomfortable.

"Justin gets abused a lot at home," Alex had said. "His mom's boyfriend's a dick head and his mom's doesn't care about him."

"Holy shit," Clay had muttered. "What about Jessica? Any word from her?"

Alex shrugged. "I think she knows what happened to her, she just doesn't want to admit it. I think she's a little torn too. Some of us are trying to tell her the truth but she's hanging around people who keep denying it."

Yet Alex had persisted in winning Jessica over, and they were rewarded. Jessica had finally come over to apologize to Hannah, and their friendship was on the mend. Yet she still refused to accept what happened to her, and Hannah hadn't blamed her for it in the slightest.

"You don't get it," Hannah had argued when Clay had gotten frustrated about it one day. "You've never been raped. It's something taken from you that you can never get back no matter how hard you try. It's the one thing you can't take back other than your life."

Clay had shut up after that, seeing as his girlfriend was the only other person Clay knew who had suffered a similar fate.

When discussing about what Clay should say, Hannah had advised him to just stick to his side of the story.

"Don't talk about my rape or anything you weren't a part of," Hannah said. "Leave that to me because it happened to me."

"So I just talk about what you said in my tape?" Clay had asked.

"Yes, but don't mention the tapes."

They had agreed (Begrudgingly, for Clay) because apparently it was damaging to the case or something that Clay didn't understand.

"Let's begin," said Mom, bring Clay back to the present. "For the record, can you please state your name, age and what school you attend."

"Clay Jensen," said Clay as clearly as he could. "Age seventeen and I attend Liberty High."

"What is your association with Hannah Baker?"

"She's my girlfriend," said Clay evenly. Once upon a time that word would have terrified him, but Clay had grown comfortable with it.

"Were you and Hannah dating prior to her attempted suicide?" asked Mom.

From the corner of his eye Clay saw Hannah stiffen.

"No, we were just friends at the time," said Clay. "Our relationship developed after her attempt."

Mom jotted down some notes on her notepad, the defence attorney doing the same. "Did you know that Miss Baker had entertained suicidal thoughts before her attempt?"

"No. Whenever I saw her at school or work- we work together at the Crestmont, that is, she always looked, well, happy," confessed Clay. "Though at the end I did notice that she smiled a lot less and seemed almost scared of a lot of things."

"Did you perhaps have something to do with Hannah's descent into depression?" prompted Mom.

"Yes," said Clay. Hannah buried her face in her hands while her parents looked shocked at Clay's confession.

"She said I didn't do anything wrong, that it was the actions of others that caused her to try to... hurt herself, but I still think I did something wrong."

"And what do you think you did wrong?" asked the other attorney.

Clay said nothing for a moment, instead looking down at his lap. His hands were coiled into fists so tightly that his knuckles turned white. "I wasn't there for her when she needed me. She had been asking for help for months, but I was too blind to see it. I had heard the rumours being spread about her, but I did nothing about it. When she needed someone to comfort her, I was too much of a coward to step forward and be that person.

"I almost cost a girl her life because I was too afraid to love her," he finished, his eyes feeling damp with unshed tears.

In front of him, the defence attorney looked stunned, while his mom looked both sad and proud of Clay's words. Mrs Baker was quietly weeping in the corner, and Hannah hadn't even bothered to wipe away the tears falling down her soft, pale cheeks. Mr Baker just sat there with a shocked look on his face. _Probably because I just said I was in love with his daughter,_ Clay thought dryly.

"Can you tell us what happened the night you found Miss Baker?" asked Mom, her face creased with worry, making her look older than her forty-two years.

This was it. The big moment. Hannah had urged Clay to tell the lawyers what happened, but he had been hesitant. It was something he had only talked to Hannah and Tony about. His own parents didn't even know the full story. Clay was worried that if he talked about it, the nightmares would come back. His parents had practically forced Clay to take medication in order to keep the nightmares at bay, even though he had told them that sleeping with Hannah ("Actually sleeping, nothing else," Clay had added when his parents looked at him with positively murderous expressions) kept the nightmares at bay, they had refused, saying it 'wasn't proper.'

"I was at home, doing homework when Tony, Tony Padilla that is, came over and told me that Hannah was in trouble and he needed my help," began Clay, his voice devoid of emotion. "Tony's not a dramatic guy, so I knew something must have been bad for him to get worked up over something. We drove over to the Bakers' home and when Hannah didn't respond to our calls, Tony kicked the door down." Clay sent the Bakers an apologetic smile, one they laughed silently at.

"I found her in the bathroom when I almost slipped on water which was coming from the bathtub. She had cut her wrists with a razor blade and she had already lost a lot of blood. It was everywhere, the blood. It had stained the water, it was on the razor blade, her hands, clothes, _my_ clothes, _my_ hands. She was unconscious when I pulled her out of the bathtub and we went straight to the hospital because we didn't think we had enough time to call an ambulance."

Clay could see it all again. Him begging for Hannah to be alive and awake while she stared back at him with unseeing eyes, her blood dripping out of her wrists and staining his shirt while he carried her to Tony's car, Tony's words of comfort while Clay sobbed in the waiting room of the hospital, thinking that he had lost the one thing her cared more about than his own life.

"By the time we got to the hospital, Hannah had lost even more blood, when the doctors took her. Her parents came not long after and we were together when the doctor came back saying she would live," he finished in that same emotionless tone.

More tears had been shed during Clay's tale, and he couldn't blame them. It was horrible.

"Thank you for that," said Mom, "I think that's all we need from you."

Clay nodded his head and stood up from the armchair before crossing around the table and out the door, not sparing anyone a look. When he got outside, Clay quickly fished out a calming pill to settle his nerves. He hated using them, especially the sleeping pills, because they left him feeling sluggish and pathetic for hours after, and Clay prided himself on having a sharp mind for school. It was because of the stupid pills that his grades at school had slipped.

Hannah followed him out not long after, and immediately the two embraced each other fiercely.

"Thank you," Hannah whispered in his ear.

"For what?' asked Clay, pulling away to get a look at Hannah. Her hair had grown down to her shoulders in the months since she woke up in the hospital, and it no loner framed her pale face. Clay preferred it when Hannah's hair was longer, but he couldn't deny that he thought Hannah looked beautiful even with shorter hair.

"For everything," answered Hannah, smiling sweetly at Clay while her eyes watered.

Clay ran a thumb under her eyes to wipe away the tears as he too smiled. "I love you," he said.

"I love you too."

oOoOoOo

"You know that we're never gonna get a confession out of him right?" said Zach.

Clay had invited Zach, Alex and Tony over to his place to hang out after his testimony. Clay and Alex were playing a video game, while Alex was stressing over a piece of homework he had brought over and Tony was sitting at the kitchen counter, nursing a cup of coffee.

"There's gotta be a way," muttered Clay, "just some way we can trick him into confessing."

"And how are you going to accomplish that Clay?" said Tony from across the room. "You're not exactly on speaking terms with the guy."

"What about-" began Clay, looking between Zach and Alex.

"No," cut in Alex.

"He hasn't invited us over to his place since we started hanging out with you," said Zach.

"It'd be suspicious if we suddenly decided to hang out with him again too."

"FINE! Then how the hell are we supposed to get Bryce alone?" yelled Clay, throwing his controller on the coffee table in frustration.

"I don't know. The dude's hardly ever alone unless he's making a drug deal," said Zach with a shrug.

"Wait a minute," said Clay, looking up suddenly as it dawned on him. He looked over at Tony. "Do you still have your tape recorder?"

"Yeah, why?" asked Tony, then comprehension dawned on his face as well. "No man. No fucking way."

"It's a good plan!" insisted Clay.

"He'll kill you if he finds out!" shouted Tony.

"Then that'll be just another crime to add to Bryce's list," snapped Clay.

Tony growled in frustration as he ran his fingers through his hair. "Dude, please think this through. Everyone knows that you don't do drugs!"

"No they don't. They just know that I'm a shy person who never talks about himself and somehow scored the most beautiful girl in the school, maybe the town!" huffed Clay as folded his arms across his chest.

"Ugh, young love," groaned Tony. Meanwhile, Zach and Alex watched the exchange in confusion.

"Please Tony. I have to do this," pleaded Clay.

"Why?" said Tony.

"Because she's worth it.'

Tony gave Clay a skeptical look. "Worth dying over?"

Clay's expression hardened as he said, "Yes."

oOoOoOo

Clay pushed the button for the doorbell to the Walker's residence. It was a massive home in the richer part of the town's neighbourhood. He quickly unzipped his bag to make sure everything was in order and pressed record when he heard footsteps coming from the other side of the door. It opened up to reveal the hulking form of Bryce Walker, who was regarding Clay curiously.

"Clay Jensen?" said Bryce incredulously. "What are you doing here dude?" he said in that way jocks speak that set Clay's blood boiling.

"Oh I was just in the neighbourhood, thought I'd come say hello," replied Clay as calmly as he could.

"Cool man, cool," said Bryce. He folded his arms and leant against the doorway as he asked "What can I do for you man?"

"Oh! I uhhh," said Clay, looking behind him nervously. "I was wondering if you got any..."

"Weed?" finished Bryce. When Clay nodded the older boy grinned. "Sure dude, come on in," he said, waving Clay inside.

It was cold and dark inside, and if Clay were a superstitious person he would have thought it a bad omen. He followed Bryce into the lounge where he opened up a small wooden chest.

"What's your poison?" Bryce asked.

 _Poison?_ "Er... I don't really have a favourite. I'm not that fussy," said Clay.

Bryce regarded him for a second before he took out a small green pouch. "I think this'll do," he said. "You got the money?" When Clay didn't answer, Bryce laughed. "It's all good man. Just pay me back when you can."

"Thanks," said Clay, taking the offered pouch of weed and putting it in his pocket. _Now's the time,_ he thought.

"Hey. I heard that Hannah went to one of your parties a couple months ago," he said nonchalantly.

"She did?" asked Bryce in confusion, then his face lit up in a smile that made the hairs on the back of Clay's neck stand up. "Oh yeah, she did. It was before..."

"Before she tried to kill herself," finished Clay.

"I'm really sorry about that man," said Bryce, actually sounding genuinely sorry.

"Me too," muttered Clay. "Do you know why?" he said then, a little louder to get Bryce's attention.

"To be honest, I have no idea," answered Bryce as he poured himself a drink of alcohol. "Glad she came to my party though, otherwise I would have missed out on having a _lot_ of fun with her. I'll bet you have a lot of fun with her too, now that you're dating and all."

Clay ground his teeth but said nothing as he put his bag on the floor next to one of the armchairs carefully.

"She told me something a little differently actually," said Clay.

"Oh yeah?" asked Bryce curiously.

"Yeah, she said you hurt her," said Clay, openly glaring at the bigger boy now.

Bryce frowned. "And how did I hurt her?" he asked slowly.

"She said you raped her."

Bryce laughed then He actually _laughed,_ like Hannah's rape was something funny. "Did she tell you that? Cause I only remember us having a lot of fun in the hot tub outside."

"Did you rape Hannah?" Clay growled, his hands clenching into fists at his side.

"Here, have a drink," said Bryce, ignoring Clay's question as he offered a drink to him.

"Did you rape Hannah?" Clay repeated.

"Listen man, it's a little rude to ignore when somebody offers you a drink," said Bryce lightly, but Clay could hear the warning.

"I just want to know. I _need_ to know," said Clay angrily.

"Why? You wanna defend your girl?" mocked Bryce. "i think she was mine before you dude."

That set Clay off. Without a second thought, he launched a fist towards Bryce's face, the impact hard. Yet Bryce hardly flinched while Clay's hand ached horribly. This wasn't like when Clay attacked Justin.

"You really shouldn't have done that," Bryce said lowly, and before Clay had a chance to react, Bryce swung a massive fist and punched Clay.

The impact sent Clay staggering as his face exploded in pain. He was blinded by tears temporarily, but before he could recover, Clay felt another fist collide with his cheek, this one just as painful as the last. Then Bryce's fist slammed into his nose, then his other cheek, then his gut.

Again and again, Bryce continued his assault on Clay, who was so overcome with pain that he collapsed to his knees, gasping for air.

"Oh no no no no no. Get up man," Bryce cooed gently, reaching down to help Clay up off the floor. When Clay straightened up, Bryce punched him again in the gut and Clay buckled over, then another hit landed on his face.

Soon the tears in Clay's became mixed with blood, and the stinging made Clay's eyes feel on fire. He didn't have time to dwell on the sensation though, because Bryce kicked him in the side then, sending Clay sprawling on the floor.

"She wanted me. _Me,_ " sneered Bryce. "She was out there in her underwear looking fucking hot as hell. If that's rape then a lot of girls I've been with could say that."

"Like Jessica?" coughed Clay.

That earned him another kick to the gut.

"Shit man. You could have just taken the weed and left. But you _had_ to get in things you had to business being in," laughed Bryce as he grabbed a napkin from the table and wiped the blood from his hands.

Clay could only cough blood onto the carpet in response.

"Come on man," said Bryce disappointedly and he grabbed another napkin then headed towards the kitchen.

Clay struggled to climb onto the armchair nearest him, the pain preventing him from moving too fast. Everywhere seared in agony on Clay's body, especially his face and stomach. Blood continued to dribble down Clay's head and he finally managed to sit in the chair.

Bryce returned with a packet of ice, which he handed to Clay.

"Dude! Mad respect bro," said Bryce with a smirk. "Not many dudes can take a beating like that from me and still get up."

"Thanks," Clay deadpanned, pressing the ice gently to his face.

Bryce then grabbed the glass of alcohol and handed it Clay, which he accepted this time. When he took a sip, he realised it was scotch.

There was silence for a few minutes, during which Bryce stared at Clay with a smirk while Clay tentatively sipped at his drink while pressing the ice to his face.

"Did... you rape... Hannah Baker?" rasped Clay, wincing as each syllable set his lungs on fire.

Bryce shook his head disappointedly. "Call it what you want."

"I need you... to say it," pressed Clay.

"Fine. Yes, I raped Hannah Baker. And Jessica Davis," said Bryce. "Doesn't matter though. It happened, people move on."

 _Oh, it will matter_ , thought Clay.

He did it. He had gotten what he wanted.

 _A/N- This chapter was actually so hard to write. I fucking hate Bryce with a passion. Like, how can you be so full of yourself that you can't even recognise that what you did to a girl was illegal and vile? This kind of shit is one of the things I hate most about our world._


	14. Chapter 14- The Night We Met

_A/N- These chapters are getting harder and harder for me to write. Not because of writer's block, but because we're getting into some seriously heavy stuff and it takes a while for me to take a moment to not get too emotional._

 **Chapter 14**

Clay tried his best to be as quiet as possible when he approached Hannah's house in the darkness of night, but it was difficult seeing as every step he took sent shockwaves of pain through his body. His breathing was heavy and labored, and the ice pack he took from Bryce's house had long melted away.

He limped up to Hannah's window, where he saw her crouched over her desk, probably studying or drawing. Clay stood there for a moment, feeling content to watch her for a moment. But then the thought of one of Hannah's tapes popped up. No, Clay really didn't want to be another Tyler Down.

He rapped his knuckles against Hannah's window, and she looked over to it. When she spotted Clay, her face broke out into a smile and she walked over to unlatch the window lock. He was partially hidden in shadow, so Hannah didn't see how bloodied and bruised his face was.

"Well this is a first," she said sarcastically before turning back to her desk.

Clay snickered to hide the grunt of pain as he pulled himself up through the window and into Hannah's room. He made himself comfortable and dropped onto the bed, sighing in relief as his head hit one of Hannah's many pillows.

"What brings you around here?" asked Hannah, not looking up from whatever she was doing.

"Can't I... visit my girlfriend in the dead of night?" remarked Clay as lightly as he could without giving anything away.

Unfortunately, Hannah knew something was wrong and she looked over at Clay, then gasped at the sight of his condition. In truth, Clay hadn't even seen himself yet, so he didn't know how badly Bryce had beaten him, but the constant aching certainly gave Clay a good idea.

Hannah dropped what she was doing and knelt in front of Clay so that she was looking up at him slightly.

"What the fuck happened Clay? Did you get hit by a car or something?" she hissed worriedly, her eyes wandering over his face.

"Sure felt like it," grumbled Clay, then hissed when Hannah's hand touched his chest.

Hannah frowned as her eyes drifted lower down his body, and Clay wandered whether his girlfriend had x-ray vision.

"Take it off," she said then.

"What?"

"Your shirt. Take it off now," Hannah demanded in a no-nonsense tone.

"But I-"

"Clay, if you don't take your shirt off right now I'm going to add to the bruises."

Clay stopped arguing then and complied with Hannah's request. He couldn't get his arms to work properly though, and Hannah was forced to help him. She gasped when she saw the extent of his injuries, and Clay looked down at his body.

It was almost completely covered in ugly purple and yellow blotches, like somebody had thrown paint on him without a care. The parts of his body that wasn't bruised, was soon about to be, for there were red marks all over his body as well. One bruise stood out in particular because it was so dark it was almost black, and shaped like a fist. Clay remembered that hit particularly well.

"Who did this to you?" Hannah choked out, and Clay held his breath to stop the howl from escaping as her fingers trailed over his marred torso.

"Bryce," hissed Clay.

"What were you doing with Bryce?" said Hannah, looking up at Clay with a fiery look in her eyes.

"Getting justice."

"Clay, honey, your Batman impression is terrible," said Hannah sternly, and Clay couldn't help but chuckle lightly, which immediately sent more spasms of pain through his body. "Seriously, what happened?"

Clay said nothing and instead reached over for his bag, which was laying on the other end of the bed. Seeing Clay's struggle, Hannah grabbed it and handed it to him, where he unzipped the largest pocket and pulled out a tape, marked with a blue '14.'

"Clay... you didn't," started Hannah.

"Bryce Walker's confession, right there," said Clay, grinning widely as Hannah grabbed the tape from Hannah's clutches.

"I- I don't know what to say," stammered Hannah, looking at the tape like it was something of huge value. Which it probably was, seeing as it could be the trump card to win Hannah's court case.

"How about a thank you kiss?" suggest Clay, wiggling his eyebrows. Hannah eagerly agreed and pressed a hard kiss on Clay's mouth.

"Ow!" said Clay loudly then, as his lip started to sting really badly.

"Shit! Sorry!" Hannah shrieked, pulling away from Clay.

Clay pressed a finger to his lips, and when he pulled it away there was a small smudge of blood left on it.

"You wouldn't happen to have a mirror, would you?" asked Clay. Hannah pointed a the large mirror attached to the wall, and Clay was surprised he hadn't seen it before. He got up, grunting from the effort while waving Hannah's help away and waddled over to the mirror.

He could hardly recognise himself. From the waist line of his jeans to the fringe of his hair Clay looked like a purple monster. His face was swollen and purple, and there were more cuts to his face that joined the large one from his bike accident. One of his eyes had turned a nasty red and there was a long gash that went across the bridge of his nose.

"Fuck, he got me good," grumbled Clay before going back to sit on the bed.

"It was worth it though?" asked Hannah.

"He confessed," was all Clay said in response.

"Damn it Helmet! I don't want you getting hurt on my behalf!" Hannah said, looking frustrated.

"I'd gladly get hurt if it means that sick fuck gets what he deserves," said Clay angrily.

"Clay..."

"We're not having this conversation again Hannah," cut off Clay angrily, and he stood up and grabbed his bag. "That there is all the proof you need to put Bryce behind bars."

He limped towards the window, fully ready to leave for the night without saying goodbye to Hannah.

"Don't go."

Clay froze halfway through the window at the sound of Hannah's pleading tone. He looked back to see her staring at him with so much fear for him. Clay pulled his leg back inside and dumped his bag on the floor. He closed the space between himself and Hannah in two long strides and kneeled before her.

"Please don't go," she whispered. "I just- you're hurting."

"I'll be fine," assured Clay.

"No. No you won't!" sniffed Hannah. "You went out and did all this for me, even getting hurt and I was ungrateful about it. I'm so sorry."

"It's ok," whispered Clay, and he meant it. "It'll be alright."

Hannah only nodded as she wiped the tears away. "I just don't want to see you get hurt anymore. You've been through so much."

"And I'll be okay. Just as long as you're still around for me to come home to."

Hannah gave Clay a small smile before she reached into her pocket and pulled out her phone. Clay saw her open up hr music app and scroll through her playlist before clicking on a song, then put the phone on her bedside table. Clay's heart leapt in his chest when the haunting first notes of the song played.

" _I am not the only traveller,_

" _Who has not repaid his debt."_

"You remember this song?" asked Hannah as she looked up into Clay's eyes.

"Of course I do," answered Clay as memories from last year's Winter Formal came flooding into his mind. "For some reason I always thought that it was our song. Is that weird?"

"Of course not," assured Hannah. "I thought the same thing." She took a step closer to Clay. "Hold me?" she asked quietly.

" _Take me back to the night we met."_

"Always," came Clay's solemn oath as he wrapped his arms around Hannah's waist.

They swayed gently to the song, their eyes never leaving the others. They saw nothing but each other and the love that practically shone like stars from their eyes. Time lost all meaning as Clay leant his head forward and captured Hannah's lips in a soft, yet long and deep kiss that was fueled by a love that burned like a raging inferno that had no hope of being tamed.

Clay and Hannah eventually separated, breathing heavily.

"Stay with me tonight," said Hannah breathlessly, and it sounded more like a demand than a question.

" _Take me back to the night we met."_

"Okay," obliged Clay, and Hannah led him back to the bed once the song ended.

They hopped into the bed, clothes still on and Clay wrapped his arms around Hannah protectively to guard her from the darkness. Hannah turned herself around so that her forehead was resting against Clay's chest, and that's how the two lovers fell asleep, guarded by the bubble of love and devotion that surrounded them.

oOoOoOo

"Clay. Clay, it's time to wake up."

Clay blinked his eyes open slowly, and the first thing he saw was Hannah's face staring down at him. His mouth automatically broke into a wide smile that she returned.

"Morning Helmet," said Hannah affectionately.

"Morning Han," yawned Clay. Hannah grimaced when his breath drifted across her nose and Clay cursed himself. _Damn morning breath ruining everything._

"It's time to get up. We got school," Hannah told him before she jumped out of bed and walked into her wardrobe.

"Ugh. how can you be such a morning person?" groaned Clay in annoyance.

"I'm not. I just woke up next to the cutest guy on the planet," came Hannah's reply.

Clay chuckled as Hannah came out of her wardrobe, wearing a long-sleeved denim t-shirt and beige coloured skinny jeans.

"Aren't you getting out?" asked Hannah slyly.

"I will soon I just have to uh..." Clay drifted off then because of the mischievous look Hannah was giving him. _She didn't feel it pressed up against her, did she?!_

"Okay then. I'll just be in the kitchen while you resolve your... morning problem," Hannah said evilly before skipping out of the room, her hair bouncing behind her, leaving Clay feeling very flustered and red-faced.

When he walked into the kitchen, he was greeted by the entire Baker family. Neither of Hannah's parents looked upset, so Clay took it as a good sign. It was weird though, considering that a boy just walked out of a girl's room with her parents watching.

That was until Mrs Baker let out a shriek of fright.

"My God what happened to your face?!" screamed Mrs Baker.

Clay was confused for a moment before the dull throbbing of his jaw reminded him of the events of last night.

"Oh uh... I uhhh," Clay said numbly, trying tot think of something decent excuse.

"He got beat up Mom," explained Hannah, she too looking at Clay with concern.

Mr Baker's face paled while Clay stood before them nervously.

"Come, sit down Clay. I'll get you something to eat then I'll have a look at you," Mrs Baker said quickly, ushering Clay into the empty chair opposite Hannah. Mrs Baker plopped some bacon and eggs onto the plate before him and urged him to eat.

He felt like a field mouse being watched by three hungry hawks while he ate, and he tried his best to ignore it while he shoveled his breakfast into his mouth. When he was done he gave Mrs Baker a grateful smile and thanked her for the food.

"Alright now let's see what's wrong with you," said Mrs Baker as she stood up from her chair and walked over to Clay. She looked at him with narrowed eyes as she investigated every cut, bruise and swelling on his face with the gentle touch of a mother.

"His torso's just as bad," Hannah pointed out.

"Hannah!" Clay hissed loudly, feeling annoyed at his girlfriend's betrayal.

"That's it. Young man, take your shirt off!" mrs Baker said sternly, brokering no room for argument.

When Clay hesitated, Mrs Baker glowered at him, and he was forced to obey the order. It took him longer to take his shirt off than usual, and every muscle he used protested painfully at the movement. Mr Baker scowled and he stood up, walking over to the kitchen cabinets and opening one while Mrs Baker gently prodded some of the bruises on Clay's chest and side.

Mr Baker returned, holding a bottle of some sort of salve and another bottle of painkillers. "Here, rub this on the bruises," he instructed, handing Mrs Baker the salve. Mr Baker then told Hannah to grab a glass of water while he shook to pills out onto his open palm before handing the pills and the glass of water to Clay. Clay didn't need to be told what to do, so he swallowed the pills and washed them down with the water.

He felt extremely uncomfortable allowing an older woman, particularly his girlfriend's mother, rubbing his body down with her bare hands. He would much rather have had Hannah do it instead, but then who knew what would happen if he allowed Hannah to get her hands on him. Most likely it would lead to things they both weren't ready for.

As weird and uncomfortable as he felt, Clay couldn't deny the soothing power of the salve and Mrs Baker's hands. It reminded him of that one time a few years ago when he went to a masseuse for a massage. He could feel the knots in his body loosen and the aching faded away slowly. It was still there, but it had died down to a dull throb.

Hannah came back carrying some bandaids, and she used them to cover the worst the cuts, namely the one across the bridge of his nose and another that ran along his jawline.

"If you put another bandaid on me, I might be tempted to audition for the next Mummy movie," drawled Clay with a smirk.

Mr Baker chuckled, but both Hannah and Mrs Baker's eyes narrowed at him in disapproval, so Clay kept his mouth shut while they tended to his injuries.

"There we are!" Mrs Baker exclaimed happily, leaning back from Clay. "All done. Now, do you mind telling us what you did to get your ass handed to you?"

"Uh..." was all Clay could say as he gingerly put his t-shirt back on.

"Mom, we can talk about it after school," interrupted Hannah. "I gotta drop Clay off at his house so he can grab whatever he needs. We'll explain everything later."

 _WE?!_

Clay followed Hannah out of the house and to her car, then together they drove off to his place. Mom and Dad weren't home, so Clay was able to quickly sneak in, change his clothes and run back out to Hannah's car. She was playing some old 80's hip hop song, and by the look of it, she was quite fond of it.

School was annoying, to say the least. He arrived late to almost all of his classes that day because he had to constantly stop for a breather. Everyone he walked by, in the halls, the classrooms, they all looked at him strangely as they took in his battered form. When Zach and the others asked him what happened, he brushed it off, though he gave Tony a significant look which his best friend recognised with a slight nod.

Teachers asked him if he was fine, and he gave his generic "I'm fine," answer that had them giving him 'I don't believe you' looks. Hannah made it a point to make sure they avoided Bryce Walker at all costs; if he was in the cafeteria, Hannah and Clay would leave the hall entirely, if Bryce was walking in their direction, they'd turn around and walk the other way.

It felt a little cowardly, but who was Clay to argue- it took a girl almost dying for him to own up to a crush.

Hannah drove Clay back to her place after school, waving off the concerns of their friends. There was no music played this time, for both teens minds were elsewhere. For Clay, he was trying to think of something to say to Hannah's parents without betraying Hannah's confidence.

When Hannah pulled the car into her driveway, Clay saw her parents' car already parked.

"You okay?" Hannah asked worriedly.

Clay took a deep breath. "Yeah, I'll be fine," he said.

Hannah looked like she wanted to say more, but she shook her head and hopped out of the vehicle. Clay followed and when they stood next to each other, they clasped hands tightly together. It was together they walked into the small house, together they faced Hannah's parents, who were waiting in the lounge room.

Hannah and Clay sat opposite the older Bakers in the two person couch, their fingers still entwined together.

"Now, what happened to you?" asked Mr Baker.

Clay opened his mouth to explain his injuries but Hannah's voice beside him stopped him.

"Daddy? There's something I have to tell you."

 _A/N- Sorry I had to leave it on a cliffhanger. But, you know we haven't had a good one in a while so here we are._


	15. Chapter 15- Turn of Events

_A/N- Okay so like for some reason my story has disappeared from the 13RW community archive of FF and I have no idea why and I'm a little peed off by it._

 **Chapter 15**

It wasn't fair. The whole justice system was fucked up. Apparently you couldn't be charged or arrested if the authorities received an audio confession because it could have been performed under duress, so the evidence was considered tampered with or something stupid along those lines.

That's exactly what happened to Bryce Fucking Walker.

Hannah had told her parents, with Clay's support, about her rape by Bryce and Clay's efforts to get a confession out of the guy. They explained that was why Clay had come into their home beaten and bloody. As soon as Hannah and Clay had finished their tale, Hannah's parents had taken them to the police station to report the crime.

Yet despite confessions from both Hannah and Bryce himself on audio, and Hannah going to the authorities, there still wasn't sufficient evidence to support the case. Jessica still refused to come out about her own molestation, as she was worried about what her father would do.

Clay had felt like he was balancing on a thin wire for days after. He snapped at everybody and was sleeping less and less despite the drugs he was taking. Bryce had joined Clay's nightmares, and he was forced to relive the savage beat down at the hands of the sick bastard again and again like a video stuck on repeat.

Hannah wasn't fairing much better, and she had grown more somber and withdrawn than ever before unless she was with Clay. No one in their group felt particularly happy either, yet Tony had jokingly called themselves the 'Emo Squad.'

Justin had seemingly vanished off the face of the earth, and nobody knew where he had gone to. Not even Jessica, and she had become frantic in her search for him.

The one good thing about the whole fuck up is that nobody trusted Bryce anymore. When news of Hannah's charges against him drifted through Liberty High's halls, a lot of people started avoiding him. Every time he would walk into a room, kids would fall silent, as if they had just been talking about him (which they probably were) and watched him warily like a herd of deer watch a passive predator.

Bryce's parties were no longer considered 'epic,' and instead they were being called 'epic fails' because nobody bothered to show up, and it was infuriating the senior. Even his gang of lackeys avoided him, afraid that by associated with an alleged rapist their own reputations would be tainted. Because at the end of the day that's all teenagers at Liberty High cared about; their reputations.

Clay walked into the bathroom to find Tyler, perched up on top of one of the urinals, half his body sticking out the window with his camera to his face. The skinny teenager looked behind him to see Clay staring at him quizzically.

"Hey Clay," mumbled Tyler before he returned to whatever he was doing.

"Er, hey Tyler," replied Clay awkwardly.

Tyler took a few photos of whatever was outside before sighing and looking back at Clay. "What?" he said, looking annoyed.

"Nothing, nothing," answered Clay as he averted his eyes and did his business.

When he was finished Tyler was still up there. "What are you doing?" asked Clay.

"Nothing. Just yearbook stuff," said Tyler, not even bothering to look down at Clay.

"And you had to do it sitting on top of the urinal?" said Clay in disbelief.

"I'm trying to get a good angle," spat Tyler.

"Oh right. Very good angle I hope, might even be abstract. I admire your commitment," deadpanned Clay sarcastically as he shoved his hands in the front pocket of his hoodie. He turned around to leave Tyler to his devices but he was stopped.

"Did Bryce do that to you?" called out Tyler.

"Do what?" asked Clay, turning back to Tyler.

"Your face. He beat you up," said Tyler, pointing at Clay's face.

"Oh uh... yeah. Yeah he did."

"Why?"

"I ripped him off," Clay lied.

Tyler snorted. "Yeah right. Or maybe it had something to do with why everyone thinks he's a rapist?"

"Dude. I was trying to do the right thing," argued Clay.

"Whenever you try to do the right thing somebody gets hurt."

"If I never did the right thing Hannah would be dead," snarled Clay and Tyler's eyes widened at what he had just said.

"I-I didn't mean it like that," said Tyler, his face full of shame.

"No, but you still said it," Growled Clay and without another word, he stormed out of the bathroom.

When he came into the Communications classroom, his face was red with anger. Hannah was the first to spot him and she raised an eyebrow, mouthing the words "Are you okay?" to him.

Clay nodded his head as he sat down. Mrs Bradley was going on about something, but Clay couldn't concentrate. What was Tyler doing taking photos from the men's bathroom? As far as Clay could remember the only thing outside of that window was a few trees and part of the parking lot. It just wasn't adding up.

The bell rang shortly after, and while Clay was packing his school books into his bag Hannah's hand grabbed his arm.

"Are you okay?" she asked, her eyebrows knitted together in concern.

"Yeah. Yeah I'm fine, I just had a run in with Tyler in the bathroom," said Clay.

"What did he say?" said Hannah as the two stood from their desks and left the classroom.

"He didn't really say much. It was what he was doing that weirded me out," answered Clay. "Come on, I have to check something." He took Hannah's hand and led her outside. They walked around the building to where the outside wall of the men's bathroom was situated, and from there Clay turned and looked at their surroundings.

It was just as he had thought: there wasn't anything of note except for a shed where the sports gear was kept, a few trees and the end of the parking lot. Clay looked behind him back at the wall, and noticed that Tyler had closed the window shut.

"What are we looking at?" said Hannah curiously, though Clay could hear the worry as well.

"I'm not sure," murmured Clay.

What could Tyler have been photographing? It just didn't seem right and left Clay with a bad feeling in his gut.

"Come on, we have Calculus and if we don't get there in time Mr Sinclaire's gonna kill us," said Hannah, tugging Clay by the crook of his elbow.

Clay let Hannah drag him along, but that bad feeling never left him.

oOoOoOo

"Come on man, it'll be fun!" whined Zach.

"What do you mean, it'll be fun?" spat Clay in horror. "Don't you remember last year's Winter Formal? It was a disaster!"

"For you maybe, I got some pretty good action last year," boasted Zach as he brushed some invisible lint of his varsity jacket.

"I didn't need to know that," grumbled Clay. "Besides, aren't we a little early to be buying suits? They only announced it today."

"If you come in early, you get to look at all the good suits," said Zach wisely.

"And the most expensive."

"Dude, last year you didn't take Hannah. Now you can!" encouraged Tony in an effort to cheer Clay up.

"Yeah, but-"

"And you did mention you wanted to try again," added Alex.

"I know, but-"

"And I'm deejaying again this year, so you can request all the songs you want," called Tony from behind a shirt rack.

"But-"

"And Hannah's excited about it as well," continued Tony.

"We can all hang out together, though I'm pretty sure you and Hannah might want to sneak out early," said Zach, nudging Clay's shoulder with his elbow while he wiggled his eyebrows suggestively.

"Okay! I get it!" shouted Clay, feeling annoyed at his friends' pestering. "Let's just get me a suit and then get the fuck out of here."

"Language," scolded Tony.

"Dude, you say that word more than any of us here."

"No that's not true. Alex does," corrected Tony.

"I think it's fifty-fifty," said Alex, scrunching his face up while he tilted his hand from side to side.

"We're keeping tally?" drawled Clay.

"Oh stop being such a pill and try on some suits," said Zach in exasperation, shoving a navy-blue suit jacket into Clay's hands.

"I don't even know what I look good in!" whined Clay.

"Yeah, neither do I," said Alex thoughtfully. "Tony?"

"Why are you asking me? Is it because I'm gay?" sneered Tony.

"What? No it's just-" backpedalled Alex.

"Just kidding," laughed Tony. "I honestly have no idea though because your face is still fucked up. You might wanna find a shop assistant for that." His head swiveled around for a moment before he stopped and waved over a pretty red-haired woman in her mid-twenties. She must have been really good looking judging by the way Zach and Alex were gawking at her, but Clay didn't focus on other women's looks anymore, seeing as he had a very specific type of woman he liked.

"What can I do for you gentlemen?" asked the lady politely, all smiles and cheeriness. Her name was Erin according to the name badge attached to her breast pocket.

"Our friend here-" said Zach, slapping Clay in the back so hard he stumbled forward, "-needs help choosing a suit."

"We would help him ourselves, but unfortunately our expertise doesn't cover the 'I just got my ass handed to me' look," added Alex with a grin.

"Guys, not cool," moaned Clay. _Why did I let these assholes come with me again?_ he thought bitterly.

"Oh dear," said Erin, seeming to have only just noticed Clay's bruised face. "Well, it will be hard to pick out a decent suit but I'm sure we'll figure out something."

"In case you were wondering, he normally looks rather pale, like he hasn't seen the sun in months," said Alex, giving Clay a malicious grin.

"Dude! Seriously," yelled Clay in embarrassment.

"What? It's true," defended Alex.

"What about this one?" suggested Susan, grabbing a pitch black suit with a matching tie. "I think you'll look good in black."

"Told you he was Jon Snow," Zach stage whispered to Tony.

"Nah, he's Batman. Batman likes black," argued Tony.

"I can hear you," said Clay.

"Oh shut up and try on the suit," snapped Tony, waving his hands in the direction of the changing rooms.

Clay grumbled incoherently as he was handed a white shirt and black pants to go with the jacket, then he walked into one of the available cubicles. It took a few minutes to get dressed, tie the- well, tie, tuck the shirt into his pants and adjust his collar before he was able to get a look at himself in the mirror. Clay had to admit that even with his battered face, he looked pretty good.

The suit and pants fit his lean form snugly while also allowing room to breathe for his shoulders, and the tie was a shade of blue so dark it almost looked as black as the suit. When Clay stepped out of the cubicle, his friends grinned widely at him.

"Damn Clay! Hannah'll be busy fighting off the girls if you wear that!" whistled Zach approvingly.

"Not just girls," commented Tony. "No doubt Ryan will have a go at you."

"Do I really look that good?" said Clay disbelievingly.

"Well, except for your ugly mug, yeah you don't look too bad," joked Alex.

"Fine, I'll buy this then," decided Clay as he headed back inside the changing room.

Only Zach and Alex bought anything else, Tony having decided that as the DJ he didn't need to dress up. The four boys were too busy laughing and joking around to notice the boy approach them until Clay nearly ran into him.

"Jensen," said the boy as he lifted his gaze from the ground.

"Justin?!" said Clay incredulously.

Justin looked horrible. Heavy, dark bags hung from his eyes, which were bloodshot. His hair was matted and greasy and stuck out in all directions. His clothes looked a little worse for wear as well, and he smelt strange.

"Fuck dude, what happened to you?" exclaimed Zach, his face mirroring Clay's thoughts.

"I was..." Justin hesitated before saying "I was busy taking care of some shit."

"Are you okay?" asked Clay. Despite whatever he felt towards the boy who started Hannah's spiral downwards, he couldn't help but pity him.

"No," admitted Justin with a sigh. "I uh... I want to help."

"Help? Help how?" said Alex.

Justin looked Clay right in the eye when he spoke the next words.

"I want to help bring down Bryce."

Clay took a step back from Justin like he had just been punched. What the hell? Why would Justin Foley, the guy most adamant with keeping Hannah's story quiet, disappear for days and then show up saying he wanted to help?"

"Why?" asked Tony, voicing the question on everyone's mind.

"I... I couldn't live with it anymore," confessed Justin. "I was the only one besides Hannah who was there when Bryce- when he..."

Clay didn't need to ask Justin what he was talking about to know.

"I love Jessica. And I can't hide it from her anymore," cried Justin, and Clay finally understood.

Justin was just as broken as Clay and Hannah, if not more so. While Clay and Hannah had the support of their families, friends and each other, Justin really didn't have anyone. Clay had heard about Justin's poor home life, and the friends he had found sympathy or doing what's right to be a weakness.

"You realise if you do decide to side with us and tell the authorities about what Bryce did, you could be charged with being an accomplice," warned Tony.

Justin's eyes widened then. "What? I- really?"

"Yeah," said Tony, and Clay had never seen such coldness come from his best friend.

Justin let out a deep breath. "Fine. Fine, whatever it takes," he agreed quietly.

"Come on man, let's get you home," said Zach, wrapping an arm around Justin's shoulder. "You can stay at my place for a few days."

Clay felt bad for not taking Justin's bad condition, but right now he didn't really care.

They were finally getting Bryce.

 _A/N- Not sure how the next chapter will go down to be honest, I've had to write and rewrite it so many times so don't expect another chapter for a couple of days. Sorry *bolts out of the room.*_


	16. Chapter 16- The Trial

_A/N- Okay thanks for helping out with the whole "I FUCKING LOST MY STORY" shenanigan. I really freaked out there. This chapter was a painus in my anus to write for some reason. Just rewrite after fucking rewrite, and I have no knowledge whatsoever about laws and the justice system except that it's really fucked up today. Anyway hope you enjoy this chapter, I know I certainly didn't enjoy writing it._

 **Chapter 16**

So many big words were said that on a normal day Clay would understand in a heartbeat, but right now he was numb to everything except for the girl sitting next to him, who was clutching his hand so tightly all feeling had been lost.

Bryce was sitting up the front with his lawyer, while Hannah's parents at with Mom across from them. Hannah had been asked to sit up there with them, but she had been too terrified to be anywhere near Bryce. Said asshole was constantly looking over his shoulder, his eyes screaming "bloody murder," in our direction.

Clay would answer with a glare of his own while squeezing Hannah's hand reassuringly before trying to focus back on the trial.

Tony, Zach, Alex, Sheri, Jessica, Justin and even Ryan and Marcus are there, sitting directly behind them. Clay was fairly certain that everyone besides Ryan and Marcus were there to support Hannah, but he was positive that Ryan just wanted something to add to his stupid gossip column, and Marcus... well, Marcus was just a nosey asshole. At least Courtney had the audacity to not show up as if she cared.

The trial had been going on for a day and a half, and Clay had to give Bryce credit; he had hired a damn good lawyer. "Fuck Bryce and his rich parents," Tony had grumbled on the first day.

It was a good thing that Mom was a good lawyer as well. Every argument Bryce's lawyer had was met with hard resistance by Mom, and honestly Clay had never felt more proud of his mother in his life. Watching her up there was like seeing Wonder Woman in action, taking on evil gods and monsters.

Despite mom's tenacity, Clay could tell that they were losing. The fact of the matter was that there simply weren't enough witnesses and the evidence was lacking as well. Any DNA that Bryce may have left behind when he raped Hannah had been washed away months ago. Jessica was still sitting on the sidelines, despite Justin's confirmation as to what happened as he was a witness/unwilling accomplice. If they lost, Clay hated to think of the consequences.

The judge called for a recess then, and Clay led Hannah and the others outside. They stopped off at the cafeteria to grab some lunch, though he didn't feel hungry. Apparently, neither did anyone else because nobody was touching their food. Except for Tony.

"Eat up," he instructed.

"I'm not hungry," said Clay, receiving agreeing nods from the others as well.

"Guys. Stop being little bitches and eat your food," Tony pressed in a condescending tone.

"What are you, our grandma?" snapped Sheri.

"Ew. No, that'd be weird," retorted Tony with a disgusted look on his face.

"And why is that? Are we too ugly for you?" asked Zach.

"No. It'd be weird if I was all your guys' grandma because Clay and Hannah are dating, and that'd be like two cousins dating each other," explained Tony with a pointed look at Clay.

Despite feeling pretty dull and moody, Clay couldn't help but snort in amusement. Hannah herself actually laughed out loud, earning a smile from Tony. Soon everyone was laughing and the foul mood was broken. Everyone began laughing and telling jokes like they were back at school, and for a moment everybody could forget the very reason why they were here in the first place.

But all good things must come to an end and the recess break was over, and with it came the glum mood. No words were spoken as everyone entered the courthouse and sat down, and the judge continued with the trial.

Clay felt tense for the rest of the day, and his mind drifted off to other places so he didn't hear when his name was called.

"Clay," whispered Hannah, nudging him lightly with her elbow.

"Huh?" said Clay, blinking in confusion.

"I said I call forth Clay Jensen to the stand," said Mom, shooting Clay an annoyed look.

"Oh, uh right," muttered Clay and he stood up and walked over to the front of the room.

His movements were stiff and numb as he sat in the witness stand, his voice devoid of emotion as he swore to tell the truth.

"Now, Mr Jensen, where were you on the night of the 17th November, 2017?" asked Mom.

 _November 17th? When was- oh,_ thought Clay as realisation sunk in.

"I was at Bryce Walker's house," he answered.

"What were you doing at Mr Walker's house, a boy who you believed to have sexually assaulted Miss Baker?"

"I was there to get a confession from Bryce." Clay's mouth tasted foul just saying his name. At Mom's silent encouragement, Clay continued. "I went there to under the pretense of buying weed from him, but I was really there to get him to admit to assaulting Hannah."

"Did Mr Walker contain any marijuana?" asked Mom.

"Objection! Mr Walker's possession of illegal substances is not the focus of this trial!" shouted Bryce's lawyer.

"Seconded," said the judge, though judging from the look on his face, Bryce's possession of weed was something that would be brought up later.

"Continue Mr Jensen," said Mom. "Did Mr Walker admit to sexually assaulting Miss Baker?"

"Yeah, he did," said Clay, allowing himself a small smile. "I was also able to record his confession with an old tape recorder I had hidden in my bag, so if you need that the cops could give it to you."

Bryce's face looked positively murderous then, something which both leased and frightened Clay.

"And the bruises on your face, where did you get those?" asked Mom.

"He beat me up after I punched him," admitted Clay.

"Objection! Mr Jensen freely admits to attacking Mr Walker first and thus the tape recorded for his confession is null, having been told under duress," called out the defence attorney.

"I only punched him when he insulted Hannah!" snapped Clay and the courthouse quickly become drowned in the muttering of all in the room.

"Order!" barked the judge loudly.

Silence soon fell as Clay's temper cooled.

"Thank you Mr Jensen. Is there anything else you would like to add?" said Mom.

"There is actually," said Clay. "When Bryce was beating me, he admitted to sexually assaulting another girl."

The colour from Bryce's face drained considerably then and his eyes widened in horror. Jessica squeaked and Tony scowled deeply. Mr and Mrs Baker looked horrified at the news while Mom's face paled as well. Hannah, on the other hand, she looked tired, and Clay couldn't blame her really.

"Another assault?" said Mom, sounding like she couldn't quite believe Clay.

"Yes," affirmed Clay.

"Can you tell us her name?"

Clay looked over to Jessica, silently begging her to allow him to tell the court. She stared right back at him, looking like a scared child and Clay feared that she would refuse him. But to his astonishment, Jessica nodded her head with a resigned look on her face.

"Jessica Davis," said Clay loudly, so that everyone could hear.

The courtroom descended into chaos then. Bryce was swearing heavily and threatening to murder Clay, while a great many others were calling for justice be done on Bryce. Mrs Baker had broken into tears, the same with Jessica and Hannah. Tony had reached over to comfort Hannah while Sheri pulled Jessica into a hug. Justin and Zach were stunned by the whole thing, Marcus looked pissed off and Ryan stayed sitting while he watched the chaos unfold as if it were some spectacular TV show he was watching.

It took the judge pounding with his gavel several times for the courthouse to settle down, though the tension in the room was so thick it couldn't have been cut through with a knife.

"Yes, well. Thank you for that Mr Jensen, that will be all," said Mom then, and Clay felt sorry for her because she looked pretty shaken.

"Is Miss Davies with us today?" asked the judge once Clay had taken his seat next to Hannah again.

Mom looked back to the audience with an inquisitive expression, then her face turned into surprise when Jessica actually stood up and walked to the front of the court.

"Is what Mr Jensen said true?" said Mom, dispensing with formalities.

"Y-yeah," said Jessica shakily.

Clay could see that she looked absolutely terrified of being in front of so many people.

"Can you tell me what happened?" asked Mom.

"I think so. I was having a party at my house. A welcome back to school sort of thing," began Jessica. "I was with my boyfriend- ex-boyfriend," she gave Justin a dark look, "and we got pretty drunk. Justin took me up to my room to have a rest... and I honestly don't remember much after that, but I think that's when Bryce..." she trailed off with a faraway look in her eyes.

"So you don't actually know for yourself if you were sexually assaulted?" asked Mom.

"No! I do I just... I sometimes see things that I'm not sure happened. But they're horrible things," Jessica started crying then and couldn't continue.

Mom told Jessica she could sit down, then called up Justin. the boy walked up to the stand, avoiding Bryce's intense gaze as he sat down.

"What do you have to do with all this, Mr Foley?" asked Mom tiredly.

"I saw Bryce rape Jessica at the party," stated Justin.

"What happened?"

"Jessica was really drunk that night so I took her up to her room to..." Justin paused. "To take her to bed," he finished. "When I went out of the room to get some water for Jessica Bryce was there waiting for me. He said something along the lines of sharing, so I let him inside Jessica's room. I was drunk as well, so I didn't realise what he meant until the door was closed.

"I went back inside to stop Bryce, but he's a lot stronger than me and shoved me out of the bedroom and locked the door so I couldn't get in. I didn't know what to do," he finished.

"Did you tell Miss Davis what happened?" said Mom.

"No," Justin answered firmly. "I thought that if she didn't know I was protecting her."

There were gasps from the Bakers table, and several people in the audience shook their heads in anger.

"You do realise that keeping something as serious as this constitutes as acting as an accomplice to the felon?" said Mom darkly. Everybody's attention was on Justin now.

Justin took a deep breath and looked Mom straight in the eyes. "Yes, I understand."

oOoOoOo

"Holy shit, we did it," muttered Alex in awe.

Clay felt that Alex had taken the words right out of his mouth. After Justin's testimony, it was all a matter of the jury deciding Bryce's guilt. With the amount of evidence stacked up against him, not even money could save him. Added to the possession and distribution of illegal substances, Bryce was looking at being in prison for a _long_ time.

Unfortunately Justin was going to jail as well, though nowhere near as long as Bryce. Jessica looked almost happy about it, and Clay worried about that. Everyone had changed in the months since Hannah's attempted suicide, and Clay wasn't sure if it was for the better. He never would have thought that he would end up being good, if not close friends with the likes of Zach and Alex, and he wasn't so socially inept all the time. Oh, and the best thing of all; Hannah Baker loved him.

That being said, everyone involved had grown up so quickly in such a short time. There were moments where Clay could see one of them get caught up in the past, and they'd become sombre and withdrawn for the rest of the day. Clay himself still suffered from nightmares, and he had often had to break Hannah out of one of her PTSD spells.

"It's over... it really is over," whispered Hannah from beside Clay, and he leant over and pressed a kiss on the top of her head in response. She gave him a grateful look and took his hand in her own, not taking her eyes off his.

"Oh great, they're doing it again," groaned Alex dramatically.

"Oh shut it you," snapped Sheri, cuffing Alex over the head with her palm. "It's _romantic,_ let them be."

"It's sickeningly romantic," argued Alex, "No teenager should look at their lover like that. It makes them look like they've been married for years."

"Settle down mate. Just because you're jealous," laughed Zach. Only Clay saw Alex's eyes dart over to Jessica briefly while a small blush crept into his face.

"I'm hungry. What say we head over to Rosie's for a celebratory lunch?" suggested Tony, and everybody agreed enthusiastically.

Everyone in their 'squad' turned up to Rosie's and had an amazing time. Clay couldn't remember a time where everybody was having a genuinely good time together. It was made even better for him when he saw that Hannah's smile had not left her face at all, her eyes sparkling so brightly that Clay swore he would end up blind if he stared too long.

When lunch was over, everyone returned to their own homes, promising another get-together sometime in the near future. Clay went Hannah back to her place, and was surprised to know that her parents wouldn't be home till night time.

Hannah grabbed Clay's hand as they walked into the door, and she shut it behind them. Clay lifted an eyebrow in amusement as Hannah sauntered over to him, swaying her hips dramatically. She wrapped her arms around the back of Clay's neck, and his hands automatically grabbed her waist as they pressed closer together.

"Have I told you how much I love you?" Hannah whispered huskily into Clay's ear, sending shivers down his spine.

"I think so, but maybe you should remind me?" teased Clay.

Hannah complied and kissed Clay passionately, and soon they were lost in each other's embrace. Hannah pushed Clay towards the bed, not letting go of him and they collapsed on top of each other with a surprised yelp and giggle. Clay could feel that things were heating up very quickly, and Hannah could tell as well as she ground against Clay's crotch, eliciting a groan.

"Hold on a sec," said Clay breathlessly, gently pushing Hannah away.

"What's wrong?" asked Hannah, biting her lip in worry.

"Are you sure?" said Clay hesitantly. He didn't want this to be a mistake on either of their parts.

"More than anything," answered Hannah. "I want _you_."

That did it for Clay, and the couple went straight back into their game, this time with no restrictions, willing to let themselves show each other exactly how much they loved one another.

 _A/N- Happy ending? NAH! There's still more to come!_

 _Also fuck this chapter._


End file.
